


A Smile to the West

by creepingrosemary



Series: Lifeline [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Baby Oikawa, Father Iwaizumi, Father-Son Relationship, M/M, Past Abuse, Suga sticks around the whole time, future iwadai, future kurosuga, i am thirsty for rarepairs, nothing graphic just a slap, oikawa's and iwaizumi's parents make an appearance, still making this up as i go, suga and iwaizumi are best friends forever they support each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-15 09:09:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 67,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7216375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creepingrosemary/pseuds/creepingrosemary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They say that when someone dies before their time, they're given a second chance at life.</p><p>When Oikawa dies in a massive train wreck, Suga and Iwaizumi are left behind to pick up the pieces. But when Iwaizumi finds a newborn baby at his doorstep, he's sure he's doing the right thing by giving it to a much more stable family -- until he realizes it oddly looks like his dead best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sunrise and Sunset

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't so much to satisfy my angsty side as it is to quench my thirst for rare pairs.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No pain, no gain.

His phone rang.

Hajime turned over, his groan smothered by his pillow, as he lifted his head to check the time. It was 2:30 in the morning, who the fuck was calling him. He slammed his hand down on his cellphone, and he entertained the thought of just ignoring it – he was sleeping, after all – before pressing “talk” and bringing it to his ear. He didn’t even bother to check the caller ID. Someone better be bleeding out. Or dying.

“Hello?” His voice was rough, and he rubbed his eyes to adjust to consciousness.

_“I’m sorry for calling so late, Iwaizumi-san. I know you’ve got work in the morning.”_

“Suga?” Hajime sat up, turning on the lamp on his bedside table glancing at his muted TV that was flashing something about whatever breaking news the media had managed to discover. He didn’t bother reading the headline. “No, you’re fine. What’s going on?” 

If Sugawara Koushi, the man who valued his sleep as much as the next sensible man, was calling him at 2:30 in the morning, something must’ve been up. And judging by the slight waver in the other’s voice, Hajime was right on the money.

 _“It’s Tooru,”_ Suga said, letting out a deep sigh.

Hajime should’ve guessed. “Did he overwork himself again? Or is he staying up watching volleyball matches?” Either way, despite not having played volleyball since they graduated from college two years ago, Hajime still had a hell of a throwing arm. And he wasn’t afraid to use it. Especially against one Oikawa Tooru.

 _“N-No.”_ Suga sounded on the verge of tears and downright panic. _“He hasn’t come home yet,”_ he cleared his throat, _“and I was wondering if you had heard from him.”_

Hajime shook his head. “No, I haven’t. Did you check with his teammates? You know how he likes to go drinking with them after practice sometimes. Maybe they took him out for his birthday and he crashed at one of their places.” Though that didn’t make a lick of sense. It wasn’t like Oikawa to hang around late with his teammates and not let Suga know.

Hajime ran a hand through his sleep matted hair. When he saw Oikawa again, he was gonna strangle him for making Suga worry like this.

 _“He said he was coming home right after practice today so we could celebrate. I was waiting for him but I guess I fell asleep.”_ His bitter chuckle brushed harshly through the receiver. _“And I texted some of his teammates and they all said that he went home.”_

Hajime was already rolling out of bed and throwing on a shirt. “The last text message he sent me was before practice started.” He looked around. Where were his sweatpants? Oh, there they were. Halfway hanging out of his hamper. He pulled them on. “Listen, I’m coming over, okay? Don’t go anywhere.”

_“Iwaizumi-san, that isn’t necessary.”_

“I’m already dressed,” Hajime said. “I don’t put on pants for just anyone, so feel honored.” He didn’t even bother turning off the TV or lamp. “And how long have we known each other, Suga? You can drop the ‘san’.”

Suga chuckled. _“All right.”_

His poor attempt at adding some levity seemed to work. He gave himself a mental pat on the back.

Hajime grew serious again when Suga didn’t say anything more. He moved towards the living room. “I’m sure he’s fine. We’re gonna find him, okay? And when we do, you can be the first one to kick his ass.” He grabbed his car keys.

 _“I’m almost looking forward to that.”_ It seemed like Suga was going to continue but then paused. _“Excuse me for a moment, Iwaizumi. Someone’s at the door.”_

Someone was visiting Suga? At this time of night?

Hajime was about to run out to his car and speed over to Suga’s immediately when he started catching bits and pieces of the conversation. He stopped when he heard the words “detectives” and “Tokyo Police Department” and something about Suga being an emergency contact. He heard Suga agreeing and giving noises of affirmation to show he was listening.

 _“There was a train accident,”_ Hajime thought one of them said, _“with many casualties.”_

Hajime’s stomach dropped and his grip tightened around the phone. He didn’t like where this was going. But he found himself rooted to the spot, worried that if he made too much noise on his end he’d miss important pieces of this already quiet conversation.

 _“I’m sorry, gentlemen – but what exactly does this have to do with me?”_ Suga’s voice was filled with what could only be identified as dreadful hope. Filled with the hope that he wasn’t involved in this. That this was all some sort of mistake. Or just a bad dream.

There was a long pause, and for a moment Hajime thought Suga had accidentally hung up on him.

_“We’re very sorry, but your boyfriend – Oikawa Tooru – was among them.”_

Suga’s response barely registered through the phone call. _“What?”_

Hajime ran back to his bedroom where they were still broadcasting the breaking news and turned up the volume right as they were giving the statistics: **20 DEAD; OVER 100 INJURED.** And only then did he see the massive train pileup behind the reporter. 

And only then did he hear Suga sobbing.

Just as Oikawa’s picture showed up on the screen.

**

Sugawara didn’t get out of bed for the first three days, and Hajime was seriously starting to worry. As to be expected, Suga was a wreck that night so Hajime offered the spare bedroom in his apartment until Suga felt okay enough to return to his and Oikawa’s place. And Hajime wasn’t taking no for an answer. So they packed some duffel bags with a couple weeks’ worth of clothes and hauled themselves across town to Hajime’s.

Hajime thought he caught some shuffling behind the spare bedroom door from time to time, or thought he heard the bathroom door open and shut, but nothing concrete. He’d leave whatever dinner he made that night outside the door with a glass of water and return in the morning to find the food untouched but the glass empty. And he’d dump the spoiled food into the trashcan, thankful that Suga was at least trying to stay hydrated.

Of course, Hajime kept a straight face during the day in the event that Suga crawled out of bed and would need something, or when he faced Hanamaki and Matsukawa or anyone else that stopped by to offer their condolences.

But at night, when he was alone with nothing else but his thoughts lying beside him, he’d feel the dam beginning to break. He’d feel the tears burn at his eyes and his chest tighten, like he weighed a thousand pounds in such an empty place. That was when he felt Oikawa’s absence the most. In the dead of night, when people had gone home to happy and healthy lives. When the traffic slowed to a crawl. When the lights went down. When his head was alight with unanswered questions.

When the world ceased to spin.

When _Hajime’s_ world ceased to spin.

On the fourth day, Suga emerged from the bedroom when Hajime was in the kitchen, empty plate and glass in hand and a smile on his swollen, tear-soaked face. And Hajime took it in stride, not drawing attention to Suga’s dull eyes or quivering voice or slumped shoulders, and tried to give what semblance of normalcy he could. Which wasn’t very much at all.

On the fifth day, Suga started spending more time outside of the bedroom and spent his days on the couch wrapped in a blanket watching comedic re-runs, cheesy soap operas, or anything else that happened to catch his interest on TV. Hajime noticed he completely avoided the sports and science channels.

On the sixth day, Hajime received a text message from one of Oikawa’s teammates saying that they had a volleyball match against their strongest rivals (the team that Oikawa had been working so hard to defeat) that afternoon if he and Suga wanted to attend. Suga readily agreed much to Hajime’s surprise, to which Suga said that he needed some fresh air anyway. They found themselves on their way to the gym before either of them had a chance to change their minds. And when Hajime saw the team wearing Oikawa’s name on the back of their jerseys, it took everything he had to keep himself together. The team won, and Hajime and Suga watched some of them lower their heads to hide their tears.

“For Oikawa,” Hajime heard the captain say.

On the seventh day, Suga had gone with Hajime to the grocery store and out on other menial errands, saying that he couldn’t just lay around all day anymore and take advantage of Hajime’s hospitality. Hajime knew that Suga still struggled, especially at night when he could hear the other’s soft crying behind closed doors, but he nodded. And then Suga asked how he was holding up. Of course, Hajime said he was fine, but the look in Suga’s dark eyes told him he knew so much more. That he knew about Hajime’s terrible sleeping habits. Or the fact that he stayed up all night tossing and turning in his own tears. Suga knew. Of course he knew.

But that night, Suga knocked on Hajime’s bedroom door and peeked inside, the dim light from the hallway pouring into the darkness.

“Iwaizumi?” he whispered. “Are you awake?”

Hajime glanced at the clock. 2:30. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, but, I just – I can’t sleep.” Suga fidgeted in the doorway, the light barely illuminating whatever expression he bore or how many tears were running down his cheeks. He looked so small. “Do you mind if I stay here with you? Just for tonight?”

“Not at all.” Hajime scooted over to give Suga room on the other side of the bed.

Suga immediately crawled in, pulling the covers up to his face with a soft, “Thank you.”

Hajime nodded, knowing full well Suga couldn’t see him.

“And Iwaizumi,” Suga started, and Hajime held his breath. “Just because I’m not okay doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be.”

Hajime felt a lump growing in his throat.

“You loved Tooru, too,” Suga continued. “You were his best friend, and I know you miss him just as much as I do. Don’t keep yourself from grieving because you think you have to be the foundation here. We can support each other.”

Hajime remained quiet but looked over his shoulder to find Suga staring at him.

“You were there for me. Let me be here for you, too.” Suga reached out his hand, placing it on Hajime’s cheek, his thumb wiping away a tear that Hajime hadn’t even noticed.

“It’s okay,” Suga said, voice soft and warm. “It’s okay.”

And the dam that Hajime worked all week to build crumbled at his feet.

**

_“How do you feel about tofu tonight?”_

“You read my mind.” Hajime held his cellphone between his shoulder and ear as he finished drying up some dishes. “But I’m gonna hold off on the spice, if you don’t mind.”

 _“Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad,”_ Suga said. _“You’re being overdramatic.”_

“I had heartburn for two days, Koushi.”

_“Not my fault you can’t handle spicy foods, Hajime.”_

“Not my fault you’re a freak of nature.” Hajime put a plate away in the cupboard. “I don’t understand how you do it. I’m in pain just watching you eat.”

Suga laughed on the other end. _“What can I say? It’s a gift. At any rate, did you want one of us to make it or did you want to go out? I know a restaurant that has some amazing tofu. And sushi, if you decide to chicken out.”_

“Do I need to sign a waiver of any kind?” Hajime asked. “You know, in the event that I meet my untimely end at the hands of whatever you’re subjecting me to.”

_“Oh be quiet, drama queen.”_

Hajime smiled. “I’m fine with going out tonight. I’ve been too lazy to go grocery shopping.”

_“Never thought I’d see the day Iwaizumi Hajime shirks his responsibilities.”_

“You talking a lot of shit today, Kou.”

 _“Another one of my talents.”_ The smile was evident in Suga’s voice, and Hajime couldn't help the one spreading across his face. He hadn't heard it so genuinely in a while. _“Anyway, I’ll be over in about 20 minutes. That okay?”_

Hajime glanced at the clock. 7:30. Right on schedule. “Yup, sounds great. See you then.” He hung up and finished drying the rest of the dishes and putting them away.

It had been about a year since the train accident, and Hajime was confident enough to say that things were getting better. Not entirely okay – it would never be okay again. But it was better. Suga had gone back to his and Oikawa’s apartment about three weeks after that night and had gotten himself back into a routine. And that routine consisted of him and Hajime meeting every Friday evening for dinner because Suga didn’t want to spend them alone, as those used to be the nights him and Oikawa would just stay in and watch movies or go on a date. And Hajime was fine with that. He’d be lying if he said that Fridays were particularly easy for him either.

But today wasn’t Friday.

Hajime looked at his calendar on the wall and today’s date was circled. 

“Happy birthday, Shittykawa.”

Hajime decided that with 20 minutes to kill, he could make a quick run to the local convenient store and pick up a few snacks for the movie he and Suga were going to watch after dinner. Suga had never seen _The Lovely Bones_ since he wasn’t big on American movies like Hajime was, but he agreed anyway since Hajime watched one of the comedy flicks Suga brought from home.

He was looking forward to it.

Slipping on his shoes, Hajime stepped out into cloudy twilight. Despite already it being well into summer, it had definitely been a cool and stormy one. He made a mental note to bring an umbrella when going to dinner. But upon taking that first step, his toe nudged something, making him look down.

He blinked once. Twice. Three times.

A wicker basket?

Hajime looked around but none of his neighbors were in sight, and there was no visible note attached to the basket. There was, however, a blue blanket draped over the top, and the ranks in the fabric made it seem like it was full of… whatever was in there. Hajime kneeled down to inspect the contents but pulled back when the blanket started to move.

“What the _fuck?”_

And that’s when he heard it – the soft, broken whimpers. That’s when he saw the outline of a tiny hand press against the blanket. All before there was a loud, piercing wail.

Hajime moved quickly to pull the blanket off the – yup, that was definitely a baby. A living, breathing, very naked baby. Hajime tried to form words, resembling a fish more than anything, as he stared down at the sobbing infant lying in a wicker basket at his front door.

What was he supposed to do?

What was he _supposed_ to do?

He looked around one more time, trying to catch the eye of any passerby, before returning his attention to the still wailing baby. Does he just…?

Hajime grabbed the blanket and picked up the baby carefully, trying to remember all the times he held his little niece when she was born, and awkwardly maneuvered the blanket around the infant’s body right as he started shivering. He made sure the head was well supported and had a firm hold before trying to walk back into his apartment just as thunder rolled over the city and the rain came pouring down.

The baby started calming down almost immediately, seeming to find comfort in the massive warmth enveloping him, in the steady thumping of a heartbeat in his ears, and fell right to sleep. Hajime watched the infant for a moment, taking note of the wild, curling dark brown tufts of hair and how tiny hands were held close to a tiny body, and promptly cursed.

He dug his phone from his pocket with his free hand and dialed, pressing it to his ear, fidgeting as he waited for the call to connect.

_“Hajime? What’s going - ?”_

“When are you coming over?”

Suga held a questioning tone. _“Well, I can leave now since it started raining. Why? What’s the matter?”_

“I have a baby,” Hajime said.

And Suga was silent.


	2. Spilled Milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugawara is a little shit and Hajime is in denial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for leaving all the wonderful comments and kudos for the last chapter! It really inspired me for this next one, so I hope it's to your liking!
> 
> I neglected my political science homework for this, I hope you guys are happy.

_“I’m sorry,”_ Suga started, _“a_ what?”

“A baby.” Hajime kept his voice low. “A baby who is currently sleeping and could start crying at any moment. Help a guy out, yeah?”

Suga could be heard moving about the room and there was the faint jingle of keys. _“Calm down, okay? You’re not gonna make this any easier by panicking.”_ The sound of a door opening and closing was drowned out by the rain. _“I’ll check him out when I get there but he doesn’t look sick, does he? Any lacerations? Bruises? Anything out of the ordinary?”_

“None that I can see,” Hajime said.

_“Good. I’ll be there in a little bit.”_

The phone call ended shortly after that, and Hajime took a deep breath when the baby rustled in his arms and let out a soft whimper. _Keep it together, Hajime. You are a grown ass man – you can handle this._ He looked at the baby, moving the blanket over an exposed shoulder – ignoring a twinge of something in his chest – and brushed back the small tufts of hair atop the baby’s head. _I can't handle this._

He sat down on the couch and waited for Suga.

What else was he supposed to do?

Suga arrived about 15 minutes later, using the spare key Hajime had given him and letting himself in, immediately shedding his jacket and shoes so as not to track water further into the apartment. He dropped his umbrella and a duffel bag near the door.

“Sorry it took me so long,” he said. “Traffic was horrendous. Not to mention the storm’s getting worse.”

“You can just stay here if it gets too bad,” Hajime said, slowly getting to his feet.

Suga moved easily towards Hajime, staring at the infant in the other’s arms. “Holy shit, you weren’t kidding.”

“Why would I joke about something like that?” Hajime raised an eyebrow.

Suga didn’t respond and instead went to the kitchen to wash his hands. “So there was no note when you found him?” he asked when he came back, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He moved his bangs from his eyes as they now favored the right side of face instead of being parted down in the middle like they were in high school.

Hajime nodded. “Right.”

Suga held out his arms. “May I?”

Hajime carefully moved the baby out of his arms and into Suga’s, noting how natural the other was at this and how the baby barely even registered the transition. With Suga being one of the best nurses at the nearby hospital and one who also worked on the maternity floor, Hajime trusted his friend to the utmost as he watched the other glance over the infant with calm, experienced eyes – something that Suga only got when visiting patients at the hospital, Oikawa once said.

“Judging from just holding him, he doesn’t seem to be malnourished. He’s a solid weight – maybe seven pounds, eight at the most.” He set the baby down on the couch and pulled the blanket back, exposing the baby’s body and making him shiver. Suga ran his hands along the torso, being careful of the small leftover stump from the umbilical cord. “No protruding ribs or swollen stomach.” He carded his fingers through the brown curls. “Hair is soft. And he’s got a lot of it, so that’s good.”

The baby started sniveling and whimpering when Suga continued moving arms and legs about to make sure everything was okay. Suga looked at the bottom of the baby’s feet and ran his thumb over the prominent, almost leaf-shaped birthmark. He hummed in thought. “That’s interesting.”

But Hajime couldn’t stop the eerie feeling of what he could only describe as familiarity that shuddered through him upon seeing it. Because Oikawa had that exact same birthmark in that exact same place. Oikawa had always been embarrassed about it and was very adamant about covering it up, and the only reason Hajime even found out about it was because he happened to catch Oikawa barefoot one day when they were in middle school. It took him forever to get comfortable enough to show Suga.

And Hajime’s heart clenched in his chest.

The baby started crying the more he was shifted about – large, fat tears cascading down his round cheeks. And the more he trembled, the more he cried.

“Okay, little guy, I’m done. I’m done,” Suga cooed in a warm voice, wrapping the blanket back around him and lifting the baby into his arms. He kept his words in a low and calm tone. “There, there.” 

“How old is he?” Hajime asked.

Suga patted the baby’s back gently and the crying started to subside. “He’s very young. Probably just out of the hospital, if the fact he’s still got the stump from the umbilical cord is anything to go by.”

Hajime’s stomach twisted in irritation. “What kind of irresponsible parents would just leave their newborn on some stranger’s doorstep?”

“Better you than some orphanage. We don’t need another child getting lost in the system.” Suga sighed. “We’ll have to take him by the hospital to get some bloodwork done and be seen by a doctor, just to make sure he’s actually okay, but from what I can tell, he’s as healthy as a horse.”

“That’s good.” Hajime released the breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

A clap of thunder vibrated through them and rattled the windows as the rain pelted it, streaking diagonally across the panes from the howling wind, and the lights flickered for a moment before steadying. 

“But we’re not going anywhere if this storm holds out,” Suga said. He handed Hajime the baby again before getting up and padding over to his duffel bag and opening it. “It’s a good thing I brought all this stuff, then.”

Hajime, his curiosity peaked, tried to peek around Suga’s body and see what the latter was talking about. The baby wriggled in his arms, whining a bit before snuggling into the man’s chest. He got an answer when Suga turned around with three tin cans of powdered formula stacked on top of a sack of diapers and a plastic bag with three baby bottles held in his hands.

“Where did you get all of that?” Hajime asked.

Suga set the items down on the coffee table. “Remember my sister?”

Hajime nodded, her face a vague memory in his head from the two times he’s met her.

“Well, she had her baby a few weeks ago, and they come by to visit often enough that I just started keeping supplies at my place just in case she forgot anything at home. And because I babysit. I like to be prepared.”

Hajime snorted. “I’ll say.”

Suga held up the formula. “This is the best brand of formula I recommend so the little guy will be getting the proper nutrition for the next couple of days while things get sorted out. Newborns usually eat every two to three hours, so depending on the last time he ate, he should be getting hungry here pretty quick.”

Hajime nodded, taking note of what Suga was saying.

They were quiet for a few minutes, the rain and thunder the only sound between them, as Suga watched his friend cradle the sleeping infant. Hajime fidgeted under the gaze, unable to figure out the look on Suga’s face. He’d gotten pretty good at reading Suga this past year as they spent more and more time with each other, but whatever face _that_ was went right over Hajime’s head.

He finally caved. “What?”

Suga didn’t say anything for another moment. “This is probably a ridiculous question, but what’re you gonna do?”

“What do you mean?”

Suga sighed, annoyance brushing across his features. “What are you gonna do in regards to the baby, Hajime? Are you gonna keep him? Are you gonna give him to someone else? What’re you gonna do?”

As someone who went through the foster system as a child, Hajime knew for a fact that he wasn’t going to drop the baby off at an orphanage with only hopes that he’d find a good family to take him in. Hajime was fortunate enough to be taken in by a wonderful family, especially after hearing some of the stories about the friends he made while there in the orphanage weren’t so fortunate. But Hajime couldn’t keep him either. He didn’t know the first thing about raising a child, and he was busy with work so he wouldn’t be able to stay home anyway. There was just no way. 

Keeping him was out of the question.

“I’m not gonna pawn him off to some orphanage,” Hajime said, staring at the baby’s sleeping face. “But I can’t keep him either.”

“Why not?” Suga asked.

Hajime looked at the other man like he’d grown a third head. “Koushi, I can’t keep a baby. I can’t raise a child. I’m not cut out for that.”

“Why not? You’re great with kids. Amazing, even.” He chuckled. “I remember Tooru coming home complaining about you being so much better at teaching kids volleyball than he was.”

Hajime remembered those countless days of volunteering at the Children’s Athletic Center with Oikawa and teaching volleyball like it was yesterday. He still did it from time to time when he was free on the weekends, but he hadn’t made it a habit of going back, especially when some of the kids asked started asking where Oikawa was.

“While I appreciate your faith in me, there’s gotta be someone else out there who’s better suited. Who can give him the life I can’t.”

 _Someone who won’t feel... whatever this is every time I look at him,_ he thought.

Hajime looked at his friend. “Why don’t you take him, Kou? You’re great with kids.”

Suga shook his head. “My shifts are too sporadic at the hospital. And since I work most nights, I won’t be able to stay with him.”

“Is there anyone you know who’s looking to adopt? Or maybe just add another munchkin to the family?” Hajime shifted on his feet. He didn’t like this sinking feeling in his stomach. He didn’t like how snugly the baby fit in his arms, or how utterly _content_ he looked in his sleep. He didn’t like this burgeoning guilt in his chest. Like he was doing something _wrong._

“Actually, I do,” Suga said. “I have a coworker who’s been trying to adopt for years now, but he and his husband just keep getting the run-around. I’ll bring them by at some point so you can meet them.”

Hajime nodded.

“And if you are truly certain you don’t want to keep him, I’ll see if at least one of them can shift their work schedules around so one of them can stay home and take care of him until he’s old enough,” Suga explained. “But this probably won’t happen by tomorrow, or even in the next couple of days. My friend’s schedule is almost as screwy as mine is and I know for a fact that if he’s taking the baby home, he’ll want to be able to focus on taking care of him.”

“How long will it take for the adoption to be official?”

“Getting all the necessary paperwork approved takes time, especially since they’re a two men, so maybe a little less than a month? At best?”

Hajime tensed. A _month?_ That was too long. That was _far too long._ Hajime couldn’t keep him for a month – there was just _no way._ Out of the question.

“And until that’s settled, I know they would much rather him stay here with you where things aren’t so unpredictable.”

Hajime was quiet.

“Think you can handle it?” Suga asked. “I know this is asking for a whole lot, and you didn’t sign up for this, but I’m going to do everything I can to help speed this process along, okay? My dad’s a lawyer so he might be able to help, too.”

Hajime nodded again. “Okay.”

Afterwards, when the baby started crying and mouthing at Hajime’s chest looking for food, Suga showed Hajime how much formula to prepare and how to test it on his wrist for a temperature check. (Of course, this was after Suga laughed his ass off for a good five minutes and called Hajime “mom”. And if Hajime hadn’t been holding the baby at that moment, he would’ve thrown something at Suga’s head.)

Hajime was now sitting on the couch, a pillow stuffed under his arm so it wouldn’t get too tired, watching the baby suckle greedily on the bottle. Large, cocoa, and no doubt curious eyes met his own dark green ones and that ache in his chest was back again. But he couldn’t look away. The baby never took his eyes off of Hajime’s face, seeming to take every detail in and memorize it.

The rain had started to lighten considerably, though it was still thundering every now and then, so Suga went out to get some clothes and more blankets for the baby. Hajime offered to come and help, but Suga was worried about the baby getting sick so he ordered the two of them to stay put.

“You know, you kind of remind me of someone,” Hajime muttered. “I just don’t know who.”

The baby stared at him in complete awe, like he was trying to understand what Hajime was saying, and his mouth fell open, causing some formula to run down his chin. Hajime quickly wiped it away and shifted him upright and against his chest and patted his back to have him burp. When that was done, Hajime swooped his legs up on the couch, his head lying on the pillow with the baby resting on his chest, not once noticing how absolutely tired he was. He placed his hand on the baby’s small back to hold him steady, and they were both asleep within minutes.

**

Hajime woke to the sound of a camera snap and opened his bleary eyes to find Suga grinning at him, phone in hand.

“What the hell?” Hajime rubbed his eye with his free hand as the other was still resting on the baby’s back. “Koushi?”

Suga snickered. “That was probably the most adorable thing I have ever seen in my entire life.” He smirked. “That’s definitely going to be my new contact picture for you.”

Hajime huffed. Just _great._ “Did you just get back?” he asked.

“Yeah, I just walked in the door,” Suga said. “I got clothes and blankets and more formula and diapers. Body wash, too. The little guy should be good to go for the rest of the week.”

“Thanks a lot, Kou. I really appreciate it.”

Suga waved his hand. “Don’t even mention it. Besides, you paid for it. Why’re you thanking me?”

“Because I’m an idiot who doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

“You're not an idiot. Just inexperienced.” Suga started unpacking all of the items and gave Hajime a pointed look when the other tried to get up. “You sit your happy ass right there, Papa Bear. You’re gonna wake the baby.”

Hajime grumbled. “Don’t call me that.”

And Suga just laughed.

They ended up making the tofu after all, since they had no safe way of taking the baby with them, and Suga gave Hajime’s portion a slight pinch of spice, to which the latter kicked his shin under the table and accused him of ruining good food. The baby was snuggled comfortably in Hajime’s arms since he absolutely refused to be put down and started crying every time Hajime tried. They watched _The Lovely Bones_ afterwards, too, and while Suga did shed a tear at the scene where Susie meets all of the previously murdered girls in heaven, he nowhere near cried as much as Hajime did. It never failed every single time he watched that damn movie.

Hajime emailed his boss to let him know he’d be taking some vacation time that he’d racked up over the two and a half years he’s been busting his ass at that physical therapy office and got the green light about 30 minutes later (with a comment at the end of the email saying that his boss was glad he was taking a break because he worked too hard and hadn't taken a day off since he was hired). He could breathe a little easier.

Suga went ahead and prepared two bottles and put it in the fridge, explaining that the baby _will_ wake up in the middle of the night starving and Hajime’s not going to want to hassle with making a bottle half-asleep, and Hajime thanked every deity there was to have a friend like Suga.

“I should probably go. It’s getting late,” Suga said, slipping on his shoes. The rain had stopped a little over an hour ago, and the clouds were gradually rolling away from the city.  
“They put me down for an early morning shift right when I had my sleep schedule all in order.” Suga’s chuckle was dry.

“Damn, that sucks,” Hajime said.

“Eh, what can you do.” Suga shrugged. “Oh, and I have an extra car seat that I’ll bring by in case you have to go anywhere since I forgot to bring it today. I’ll stop by tomorrow after my shift to drop it off and come check on him. Mainly on you, though. Just to make sure you haven’t burned the house down trying to heat up a bottle.”

“Get out of my apartment.”

Suga grabbed his jacket and grinned. “See you tomorrow!” And then he was gone, leaving Hajime alone. With a newborn baby. For a whole night.

Hajime sighed.

“Fuck.”

**

This time, Hajime woke up to the sound of a piercing wail.

At first he thought it was his alarm clock and slammed his hand right down on it, groaning loudly when it didn’t shut off. He opened his eyes, trying to adjust to the darkness of the room and _where the fuck was that noise coming from_ – oh right. There’s a baby here. A now very hungry baby whose cries only grew louder and more intense.  
Hajime sat up and turned on the lamp, kicking his legs from under the blankets before picking up the baby and bringing him close to try and soothe him while trekking to the kitchen, turning on lights along the way. He put the bottle in the microwave, and it was if the baby could smell it because he started crying even louder, his chubby cheeks turning red in his upset.

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Hajime’s voice was soft and a little hoarse from sleep. He pulled the bottle from the microwave after a bit, checking the temperature on his wrist, and placed the bottle to the baby’s lips.

Once latched on and seemingly content, the baby brought his eyes back to Hajime’s face again, not once looking away. It really was such an intense gaze, even for a newborn, and Hajime thought he’d be uncomfortable under the scrutiny. But instead he found himself draped in that familiarity. A familiarity that he hadn’t felt for an entire year.

“You remind me so much of someone I know,” Hajime said.

And as the baby continued staring at him, only one name came to mind:

_Tooru._

**

He stared up at the person currently holding him, enveloping him in warmth, and found that he wasn’t afraid anymore. He wasn’t sad. And he wasn’t lonely. There was no more darkness. No more pain.

Just safety and warmth and happiness.

Yes, he was safe with this person.

But he wasn't mother. He didn’t smell like milk, and his voice was low and rumbling as he said words he couldn’t understand, but it wasn’t terrifying. It brought comfort and security. It made him so very _happy._

Only one word came to mind:

_Papa._

Yes.

This man was his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and before I forget. This may seem really obvious, but I feel like I should point it out: Hajime is all baby Tooru has ever known, so he's going to get attached fairly quickly to this person who is not only feeding him and giving him shelter, but also keeping him safe.
> 
> I dunno. Felt like I should point that out.
> 
> Thanks guys!


	3. Overwrite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime makes terrible tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the kudos and comments! I know I haven't responded (my summer has been insane) but know that I read and cherish every one of them and you guys are what keep me going!

Hajime was tired.

Wait, scratch that – he was _exhausted._

Despite being on a solid schedule, the baby was still prone to waking up in the middle of the night and cry. He wouldn’t be hungry and his diaper would be dry, and he would still just lay there and wail until Hajime managed to coax him back to sleep.

And tonight was one of those nights.

The baby had been up for at least an hour now, crying his eyes out, even as Hajime held him. And Hajime just didn’t know what to do. He’d thought about calling Suga, but the other was most likely working at three in the morning, and Hajime didn’t want to bother him with something that wasn’t even an emergency. Or, what if it was an emergency? What if the baby was sick and he just didn’t know?

He ran through the list in his head of what symptoms Suga told him to look out for.

Runny nose? Nope.

Loss of appetite? Not even close.

Constipation? Definitely not that if the sheer amount of diapers Hajime was changing daily had anything to say about it.

Fever? Hmm.

Hajime placed his hand to the baby’s forehead and then cheeks. He didn’t feel warm.

Maybe he had a thermometer somewhere…

Suga had scheduled the baby’s first appointment at the hospital first thing last Saturday morning when Hajime had gotten a little less than three hours of sleep the night before because the baby had been up crying all night. The appointment went smoothly however, especially under Suga’s watchful eye and it undoubtedly made Hajime feel better when Suga told him that the doctor (his name was Kai if memory served) was Karasuno’s rival in volleyball and said that out of all the doctor’s there, Kai was the best. (Hajime didn’t even know _why_ he was worried. It was stupid, really.)

But the sheer wails that the baby let out when they had to draw blood and administer his first vaccine made Hajime’s heart drop in his stomach. He hated hearing the baby cry. Hated it. Not because it was annoying or anything, but something in him told him to immediately comfort the baby, to shield him from whatever was causing him pain. _(You’re hurting him, stop it – stop it!)_ And as soon as they were done, Hajime held the baby close, patting his back and murmuring comforting words until he was soothed into a sleep.

And when Kai asked for the baby’s name, Hajime blanched. Only one name had ever come to mind when looking at the baby with the curly tufts of brown hair and brown eyes, but that name had belonged to someone else. Someone who had been gone for over a year. Someone who had been his best friend. He shouldn’t be thinking of calling this baby Tooru. It wasn’t – it was…

It was too fitting.

(And if Hajime remembered correctly, his niece had been watching some movie that said something about ‘once you name it, you start getting attached to it’, but he couldn’t be sure. He’d sat through a lot of kid movies between now and then with her so his memory was a little fuzzy.)

All in all, the baby was outwardly in perfect health and all they needed to do was wait for the results from the bloodwork to come back before being given the all clear.

And Hajime noticed that despite being absolutely drained from taking care of the baby over the past two weeks he caught himself feeling lighter, breathing easier. Felt his world spinning again. And in those rare mornings that he’d wake up before the baby, he’d lay there and just… take everything in. How bright the sun would be leaking through the blinds, accompanied by the slightest draft. The wool blanket pooled at his feet. The hum of traffic. The tiny form sleeping so soundly beside him.

And he found himself adjusting.

To what he wasn’t exactly sure of, but he was getting used to waking up in the early hours of the morning and feeding the baby or change a diaper, or just sitting on the couch with him nestled in his arms, to name a few. But one thing he would never get used to is the way the baby would stare at him – a stare that was just so full of wonder and awe and pure innocence. Like Hajime was the only thing in this humongous world. And it never failed to bring a smile to the man’s face.

Suga apologized profusely for not being able to come by at all because shifts at the hospital had been hell for both him and his friend, but Hajime said he didn’t mind and that his boss had been very understanding about the whole situation, letting Hajime work from home by helping complete paperwork since the new receptionist was easily overwhelmed and tended to make little mistakes. 

Her name was Yachi, and she was in her last year of college. She was a very sweet girl who was usually seen with a smile on her face. Jumpy, yes, but sweet. She immediately recognized Hajime from the last Karasuno and Aoba Jousai game (she practically screeched when she saw him), and while Hajime only did see her in passing, he felt bad for only vaguely remembering her.

Apparently she found out about the job opening thanks to one Hinata Shouyou, who frequented the physical therapist due to a shoulder injury from – can you guess? Overworking himself, that’s right. Hajime had half a mind to yell at Hinata the minute he saw that familiar orange mop of hair but refrained from making a scene and simply dealt a whack to the head. Hinata took it all in good humor though, offering condolences about Oikawa and saying how sad he was that he wouldn’t be able to play on the national volleyball team with “The Great King.” 

(“You’re not going to be able to play volleyball ever again if you keep this up,” Hajime had said, thumping Hinata on the forehead. Hinata had sighed, saying that Kageyama had told him the exact same thing and then went on a rant about how if that happened, he wouldn’t be able to surpass Kageyama.)

At any rate, she would send him emails and fax paperwork to him so he wouldn’t feel like a completely useless bum while sitting at home. It worked out for both him and Yachi alike.

Hajime sat on the edge of his bed once the baby had reduced his cries to mere sniffles and whimpers that transitioned to much needed and appreciated silence. Hajime sighed, the back of his head hitting the headboard as he stared up at the ceiling, remembering that he had also agreed to let Suga bring his coworker (husband included) over to see the baby after their shifts at the hospital.

And Hajime thought he’d be thankful for the upcoming peace. That he’d be happy to meet the baby’s future, more stable family. A loving family. One that he had gotten. He should’ve been happy.

But he found himself uneasy.

Uncertain.

_Guilty._

He found himself getting attached.

Thunder suddenly roared up above him, loud and menacing, and the baby was up and wailing again. And as Hajime comforted the baby, he couldn’t help but remember that Oikawa was terrified of thunderstorms, even as a grown man. In middle school, Hajime used to poke fun at him for it (“It’s just a storm, dumbass, it can’t hurt you.”), but when he saw how truly scared Oikawa was as he trembled under the blankets, Hajime always made sure to be there for Oikawa when a storm was rolling in.

_“I’ll be fine, Iwa-chan. You don’t have to come over every time,” Oikawa had said under the thick blanket, the tremble in his voice betraying his words, obviously embarrassed that he was 16 years old and still scared of a little thunder._

_“Shut up, Shittykawa – I’m staying.” Hajime pulled out his own blanket and plopped down next to his best friend, ready to ride this storm out together._

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Hajime pat the baby’s back, humming softly to hopefully drown out the thunder. “I’m here, Tooru. I’m here.”

He didn’t even feel the name slip from his tongue. It was too natural. Too easy.

“What am I gonna do?” he whispered.

**

Suga and his friends were coming over in less than 10 minutes and Hajime still didn’t know what to do. But here he was, twiddling his thumbs, just waiting for Suga to come by so he could meet these people. What would they even be like? What kind of lifestyle did they live? Of course, if Suga was the one who mentioned them, they had to have been at least semi-decent guys. Suga wouldn’t have said anything if they weren’t.

Hajime had absolutely nothing to worry about.

So why was he so nervous?

There was a cry from his bedroom and Hajime reacted instantaneously, moving to the other room and sitting at the edge of his bed.

“Hey there, little guy,” Hajime murmured, picking the baby up and bringing him close. “Sleep well?” The infant quieted once resting in Hajime’s arms and nuzzled into his chest, making the man smile. He glanced at the clock: 6:42. About time for dinner. “Hungry?”

After changing a soiled diaper, Hajime moved to the kitchen to prepare a bottle just as there was a knock at the door and he sighed. He grabbed the bottle from the fridge and placed it on the countertop before going to answer it. 6:45 right on the dot. Suga’s ridiculous punctuality irritated Hajime sometimes.

“Hajime-kun!” Suga grinned.

Hajime’s brow twitched. “How many times have I told you not to call me that?”

“You tell me not to do a lot of things,” Suga said. “Anyway, Hajime – this is my friend I was telling you about, Akaashi Keiji.”

The man with steel blue eyes and messy, dark hair next to Suga gave a deep bow. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Iwaizumi-san.” And while he looked like he’d rather be anywhere but here, Hajime could see there was a latent fire in his eyes.

Hajime nodded, giving a quick bow. “Likewise. And you don’t have to –”

“Hey, hey, hey!” another man with gravity defying white-grey hair and golden eyes popped up from behind them. His grin was bright and contagious, not to mention loud. A literal firecracker ready to go off in explosions of color. “I’m Bokuto Koutarou! Nice to meet ya!” His gaze fell on the baby. “That’s the baby, right? He’s so cute!”

_Polar opposites,_ Hajime thought, amused. However, something nagged in the back of his mind the more he looked at Bokuto. Why did the guy look so familiar? Did he perhaps see him at work? No, Hajime knew almost every person that walked in there. High school? Maybe volleyball? He looked athletic enough for it. But his attention was redirected when the baby started sniveling in his arms, obviously disturbed by the loud noise.

“Koutarou, please keep it down,” Akaashi said. “You’re going to upset him.”

“Sorry,” Bokuto lowered his voice to a whisper.

Suga turned to Hajime. “We’re not interrupting anything, are we?”

“Not at all,” Hajime said, moving out of the doorway. “I was just about to feed him, so feel free to come in. Make yourselves at home.”

“Pardon the intrusion,” Akaashi said as he, Bokuto, and Suga removed their shoes by the door.

“Pardon the intrusion!” Bokuto said.

Suga leaned against the arm of the couch. “How have things been going, Hajime? Sorry that it’s been so hectic lately.”

Hajime shut the door. “Things are fine, so don’t worry about it.”

Bokuto came bouncing over to him. Quite literally. “He’s so cute! Can I hold him? Can I hold him?”

Hajime tried to ignore the hesitation in his bones. “Sure. I’ll go get his bottle ready.” He gently set the infant in Bokuto’s arms, who, despite what first impressions might give off, held the baby tenderly. He felt something pull at his heart, and opted to walk away before it got worse.

He could feel Suga’s eyes on his back as Bokuto sat down on the couch with Akaashi, their full attention on the infant. Stroking his hair. Murmuring sweet things. Hajime put the bottle in the microwave, unaware of how hard he shut it. He sighed. 

_Get it together, Hajime,_ he leaned against the counter. _Get it together. Be happy for them._

They deserved this more than anything. They deserved to be happy.

He brought the bottle back once it was warmed up and handed it to Akaashi. “Here you go.”

“Thank you.” Akaashi’s smile was small as he handed the bottle to Bokuto, who was practically vibrating with energy as he placed it to the baby’s lips.

“Would you like some tea?” Hajime offered. “Or water? I’ve got soda, too.”

“Oh no – if you’re making tea, I’ll handle it. You screwed it up last time.” Suga made his way towards the kitchen.

“I’m sorry that my tea is not good enough for your refined palette,” Hajime said.

“I’m only looking out for my friends. They don’t know how lethal your tea is. Or coffee, for that matter.” Suga bustled about, looking through the cabinets and pulling out some cups.

The only sound in the house for a while was Suga preparing the tea, mainly because Bokuto and Akaashi were focused on the baby and Hajime had no idea what to say to them. What could he say to them? But thankfully Suga rejoined them while the tea steeped. 

“What do you think, guys?” Suga asked, watching the couple.

“He’s awesome!” Bokuto grinned down at the infant. “I’m so excited.”

“He’s very well taken care of,” Akaashi said.

Suga smiled. “Despite his gruff appearance, Hajime here has a heart of gold and has been doing a great job. I was a little worried at first, though. I thought he’d burn down the house trying to make a bottle.”

Hajime rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Kou.”

“You love me.”

“Sugawara-san told us that you played volleyball, Iwaizumi-san.” Akaashi directed his eyes towards Hajime, who shifted almost uncomfortably.

“Yeah – in high school and college.” Hajime nodded.

“What team were you on? I don’t recall seeing you in any games.”

Hajime scratched the back of his head. “I played at Aoba Jousai in high school, and then at Tokyo University.”

Akaashi nodded, seemingly content with that answer, but his husband seemed to have other plans.

“Aw, man! No wonder we didn’t run into you. You’re from the countryside like Suga over here. We played at Fukurodani.” Bokuto said. Was he _pouting?_

No wonder Bokuto looked so familiar. Hajime had seen him in the _Volleyball Monthly_ magazine as the issue named the top five players with the potential to go to nationals. He had skimmed through that issue, mainly because Ushijima was listed among those, but he remembered seeing Bokuto’s picture. And Hajime couldn’t help but wonder why in the world someone as good as Bokuto wasn’t playing for the national team.

Bokuto continued with his questions. “What position did you play, dude? I’m so upset we didn’t get to go against you guys!”

“I was a wing spiker,” Hajime said.

“And the ace,” Suga added.

“You, too?!” Bokuto exclaimed. He cheered. “Wing spikers are the best! Were you the captain?”

Hajime shook his head. “Vice-captain.”

“So I’m the only former captain in the room?” Bokuto huffed. “Lame.”

Suga laughed. “Don’t get all down and out on us, Bokuto.”

“Being the captain meant that you were the best at what you did, so feel honored,” Akaashi said, his eyes on the baby.

Bokuto’s spirit was immediately lifted. “You’re right, Keiji! I was great, wasn’t I?”

Hajime couldn’t help but wonder how in the hell these two were even together. Sure, they balanced each other out – Akaashi seemed very down-to-earth and calm while Bokuto expressed every emotion with not only his face but his entire being – but Hajime still had a little trouble wrapping his head around it.

He guessed that was how Suga’s and Oikawa’s relationship used to be. They balanced each other out perfectly. Suga helped keep Oikawa grounded and Oikawa gave Suga those extra boosts in confidence and helped keep his head high. They helped each other out, complemented one another. And with the way they bickered, one would think they were an old married couple. And maybe they could’ve been that, if Oikawa had worked up the nerve to ask for Suga’s hand like he said he was going to.

Hajime never worked up the nerve to tell Suga what Oikawa had wanted for their future.

And if he was considered a coward for that, well, then so be it. Suga was just getting back on his feet. Smiling more. Laughing. Sleeping through the night without being plagued by nightmares. And Hajime didn’t want – had no right to take that away.

“I heard Aoba Jousai was quite the powerhouse, though,” Bokuto commented as he handed the baby to Akaashi. “Especially Oikawa. Man, I _really_ wanted to receive one of his power serves. That guy was a monster! I heard about this one time –”

“Koutarou,” Akaashi hissed.

Bokuto looked at his husband for a minute and then at both Suga and Hajime, and his eyes widened in realization. “Shit – fuck – I am _so sorry_ , I didn’t mean –”

Suga smiled. “Don’t worry about it, Bokuto. Hajime and I are doing better now. Right?” He looked over at his friend.

Hajime nodded. “Yeah. Totally.”

“Still though, I’m _really_ sorry. I just like –”

“Bokuto, don’t sweat it.” Suga went back to check on the tea, but Hajime could tell that he just needed to be out of the room for a moment. Like he had said before, they were getting better. It didn’t mean that they were there yet. “Besides, Tooru wouldn’t want us to be sad when we think of him. He’d want us to be happy.”

“Right,” Hajime said.

And they saw the tension quite literally leak from Bokuto’s bones.

They sat there talking for a while, mainly getting to know each other, with Suga’s friendship being the common thing between them. And of course, Suga pulled no punches and shared embarrassing stories about all three of them. Hajime learned that Akaashi worked in the cardiology wing of the hospital and Bokuto worked at a small business firm downtown. When asked why he wasn’t playing volleyball anymore, Bokuto said that during the semi-final match in college, he had gone up for a block and the new first year on the team collided right into him trying to go for the block, too, and knocked him off balance. But that wasn’t the worst of it.

“He landed right on my ankle,” Bokuto had said. “Snapped it like a toothpick. After that, I couldn’t really go up for a spike, so the coach said my volleyball days were over.” He had chuckled. “I thought Akaashi was going to blow a gasket, he was so upset that I kept playing.”

“I only had your best interest at heart,” Akaashi had said. “Besides, you failed your math test that day, too, so you should’ve been studying.”

“Why do you keep bringing that up?” Bokuto gave an indignant whine.

Overall, Hajime liked them. He thought they were nice and were like one of those couples you really only read about in those cheesy romance novels, so they were entertaining in that regard. And he could tell by the way they looked at the baby that they’d already fallen hook, line, and sinker. They’d give the baby what he needed, things that Hajime wouldn’t be able to provide. They were the picture perfect family.

And so, Hajime finally addressed the elephant in the room when Bokuto and Akaashi announced that they should be heading home. It was now or never. “If you two want, you can go ahead and take him home.”

All eyes were on him now, slightly widened, and they could probably hear a pin drop.

“Are you sure, Iwaizumi-san?” Akaashi asked. “If you want to spend a few more days with him, then –”

Hajime shook his head. “No, it’s fine. The sooner he gets used to you two, the better. I know it’s not going to happen overnight, but might as well start as early as we can.”

“Hajime…” Suga started.

“If you want to take the formula and car seat, that’s fine, too,” Hajime continued, ignoring the war drums in his ears, his clammy hands, Suga’s scrutinizing gaze. “Unless you want to take the seat back, Koushi.”

Suga was silent for a long moment, his eyes never leaving Hajime’s back, before finally replying. “No, I don’t need it.”

“It’s all yours, then.” Hajime started putting the formula tins and diapers into plastic sacks, helping Bokuto haul them out to their car.

Once everything was moved out and Hajime filled them in on the baby’s eating and sleeping schedule, Akaashi and Bokuto asked one more time before they left if Hajime was sure about this to which Hajime reassured them that yes, he was sure. Because if they asked him again, he would’ve given a very different response.

“Thank you very much for everything, Iwaizumi-san,” Akaashi said, the baby sleeping peacefully in his arms. “We can’t thank you enough.”

“Yeah, man, this means a lot. Like a lot, _a lot,"_ Bokuto added. “Akaashi’s wanted to be a dad for forever now. Thank you so much.”

Hajime smiled a bit, even though it hurt to do so. “Glad I could help.”

With that, the couple left and Hajime blinked away the burning in his eyes. Blinked away the tears that he should _not be shedding._ Suga was still there, waiting on him, watching his every move, and he couldn’t break. Not when Suga had to be at work so early in the morning. He didn’t need to cause his friend any unnecessary stress. He didn’t need to be worried because there was _nothing to worry about._ Nothing at all. _Nothing at all._

Suga was on his feet as soon as the front door shut. “Hajime?”

Hajime didn’t look at him. “I’m fine.”

And if Hajime felt like his world had stopped spinning again, well, that wasn’t anyone’s business.


	4. Take Me Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Distance makes the heart shatter.

Hajime went back to work the next morning.

He loved where he worked. While it was by no means small and only one of the many services offered in the Community Health Center downtown, it was a well-known business, his boss, the clients, and employees were friendly, which made everything so much more tolerable, and he earned a decent salary. And he loved helping people get back on their feet. He could never think of the words to describe what he felt when someone who could barely stand take independent steps across the room after weeks and weeks of sweat, tears, and treatment. 

It was unreal.

And he couldn’t have asked for much more when he graduated from college.

Of course, when he returned, everyone asked where he’d been – his clients especially. And Hajime apologized for his sudden absence, thanked them for being so understanding, and hoped that they had been well looked after by the other physical therapists there. Hajime had personally asked his one of his coworkers (well, perhaps not personally, it was a phone call), Futakuchi, to keep an eye out for Hinata – just to make sure the little ball of sunshine wasn’t overworking himself and making his injury worse. (Hinata became Hajime’s client when his former physical therapist changed jobs.)

 _“I’m not your babysitter,”_ Futakuchi had replied.

But when Hajime returned, Hinata said that Futakuchi had done a great job, despite the endless teasing. Futakuchi said that Hinata was interesting, despite the fact that he never once stopped talking.

“Kid’s a chatter box,” Futakuchi said.

“I’m not a kid!” Hinata grumbled as he stretched his shoulder. “And I’m not a chatter box. I’m just very personable with people I know.”

Futakuchi rolled his eyes. “That’s a fancy way of saying you don’t know when to shut up.”

Hajime raised his notepad like he was going to whack Futakuchi on the head with it (and the latter was fully prepared for the impact), but he never dealt the final blow. “Didn’t I tell you to watch out for him? Stop harassing him.”

“I don’t need anyone to look after me, Iwaizumi-san. I can take care of myself,” Hinata said, wincing a bit as he continued working out his shoulder.

Hajime didn’t even bat an eye and filled out something on Hinata’s chart. “So do you mind telling me how many times you went behind Kageyama’s back to practice spiking?” And upon seeing Hinata grow pale and quiet, Hajime continued. “Hinata, I’ve told you this a thousand times – you’re not going to get any better if you keep pushing yourself. You’re only going to make it worse. I know you want to get stronger, but how’re going to do that and play on the national team if you botch up your shoulder before college is even over?”

Hinata lowered his head.

“I’m only saying this because you have a real shot at making it, and many teams – _strong_ teams – are looking forward to playing against the freak duo with the god-like quick. You don’t wanna disappoint them, do you?”

There was a familiar spark in Hinata’s eyes as he looked up. “No, I don’t.”

“Besides, it’s like you said – how’re you going to beat Kageyama if you’re sitting the bench?”

“I’m not going to be able to.”

“Exactly.” Hajime ruffled the other’s wild hair. “Now get going. Kageyama’s waiting for you.”

Hinata grinned. “Thanks, Iwaizumi-san!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hajime said. “Make sure to wear that shoulder brace.”

“Sure thing!” And then Hinata was gone.

Futakuchi leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets. “You didn’t yell at him as much as I thought you would. You tired or something?”

Hajime nodded. Futakuchi didn’t need to know that he had woken up every two hours last night and panicked because the usually occupied space next to him was empty and cold. Soundless. Heavy. Futakuchi didn’t need to know that he’d forgotten what it was like to exist in that.

“Yeah,” Hajime said. “I’m tired.”

“Try to get some sleep, yeah? It’s weird seeing you like this. Where’s the Iwaizumi Hajime that gets angry and throws things at people? You know – the Tough Love Iwaizumi.”

Hajime didn’t look up from his paperwork. “He’s about to come back if you don’t get the hell out of my office.”

Futakuchi made his exit with a smirk. “There he is!”

Hajime sighed. _Just make it through the week,_ he told himself as he stood up, pulling out the file for his next client. A young man in high school who pulled his right hamstring playing soccer. _He’s in good hands, there’s nothing for you to worry about._

He just had to get into a routine again. Get his life back on track. He could at least do that much, right? It shouldn’t be too hard. Get up, go to work, go home. Wash, rinse, repeat. Easy as clockwork. Easy as breathing. He could _do_ this. Focus.

And so, taking that deep breath, Hajime smiled and called in his client.

**

He didn’t know where he was. He would open his eyes and there would be strange people looking at him. Strange voices talking to him. Strange smells all around him. He didn’t like it. He was afraid. So very, very afraid. Where was his daddy? Where’d he go? He didn’t leave him, did he? _Where was he?_

He let out a loud cry, and that made one of the strange people approach. They’d hold him and try to comfort him but they weren’t who he was looking for. Their smell was wrong and their voice was wrong and everything about them was _wrong, wrong, wrong._

Another person approached and they were wrong, too. Their face, their voice, their smell. They were too loud and the other one was too quiet. It wasn’t right.

They weren’t hurting him, always speaking to him in calm and soft tones, and he was never left in discomfort for long. They fed him when he was hungry. Changed his diaper when he was dirty. He slept when he was tired. But when he stared at their faces, he just felt so scared. 

He wailed even louder for his father to come and get him. To help him. To take him home. But he didn’t come. His father always came when he cried. Always. Without fail. _Why wasn’t he coming this time?_

He cried, and cried, and cried.

And didn’t stop.

**

By the middle of the week, if someone asked, Hajime should’ve said that he’d been getting less sleep. _If_ someone asked, which they did (mainly Yachi). And Hajime _should’ve_ answered honestly, which he didn’t (“I’m fine,” he’d say.) No need to cause any unnecessary worry, right?

Of course, Suga was ever present. He’d ask how Hajime was doing through either text message or phone call, and while Hajime did appreciate it, all he wanted to do was go to bed. And not move. Ever. Now whether that was from his lack of sleep from the past two weeks or the last three days he’d been waking up every hour on the hour or all of that combined was anyone’s guess. He didn’t even know anymore.

There were times that he caught himself wandering to his bedroom after about an hour of just relaxing on the couch and watching TV to go check on the baby and find that he wasn’t there. It’d become automatic. A habit. And then he’d curse and just sit back down only to find that he wasn’t exactly invested in the show anymore. So he’d go for a run to work off that nervous energy.

But today, Suga invited him out for lunch at one of the nearby cafes that he frequented, and Hajime agreed because he not only did he miss seeing his friend, but also to prove to Suga just how okay he really was because he could hear the hesitation in the man’s tone even over a meager text message. Such little faith Suga had in him.

When Hajime arrived at the _Cat-fé_ (he almost cringed at the pun), he spotted Suga waving him over from a small booth tucked in a corner. And, as one would guess, the café was cat themed – down to the tables that were shaped like paws and the napkins were shaped like cat faces and _oh my gosh was that an actual cat sitting outside the window_ – and Hajime wondered why on this green earth would Suga _ever_ want to have lunch here? Oh right. Because Sugawara Koushi was a little shit.

“Hajime,” Suga grinned when he sat down. There were already two drinks on the table. “I went ahead and ordered coffee for you since you were almost here. Black, just how like it. That’s okay, right? I can get you something else.”

“No, no, no,” Hajime said, lifting the mug. “This is great.” Despite it being summer, Hajime was always willing to indulge in his daily intake of caffeine. And if there wasn’t table in between them, he would’ve hugged Suga. He took a careful sip and sighed. Yup. Perfect.

There was an amused smile on Suga’s lips. “Work that crazy?”

“You can say that again. There’s never a dull day. It’s like kids are getting hurt left and right.” Hajime lifted the mug to his lips again. “Oh, and your former underclassman still doesn’t know what ‘take it easy’ means.”

Suga chuckled. “Yeah, that’s Hinata for you. Sorry if he’s been too much trouble.”

Hajime shook his head. “Nah, he’s fine. Just a little stubborn. He likes to make Futakuchi’s life hell and that’s something always worth watching.”

“He’s one of the guy’s that played at Date Tech, right?”

“Yeah, the asshole.”

Then, one of the employees strolled on over to their table, his movements languid, like a cat that was up to no good. His eyes were golden, predatory almost, and while his dark hair did partially cover his face, the way the back stood up kind of reminded Hajime of a rooster.

“Well, well, well, look who it is!” he grinned. The nametag pinned to his shirt said Kuroo T. “Long time, no see, Suga-kun!”

Suga smiled. “Hi, Kuroo. And I told you, just call me Suga.”

Kuroo raised up his hands in a placating gesture, although the grin was more of a smirk now. “All right, all right.” He directed his eyes to Hajime and raised an eyebrow. “And who is this? Never seen you around here before. And I hardly ever forget a face.”

“Iwaizumi Hajime,” Hajime stuck out his hand, to which the other gave a firm shake. “Nice to meet you.”

“So _you’re_ the famous Iwaizumi Hajime I keep hearing about,” Kuroo said, smirk still in place. “Nice to finally put a face to the name. I’m Kuroo, by the way. Kuroo Tetsurou.”

“And what exactly have you heard about me?” Hajime raised an eyebrow and gave Suga an accusatory glance.

Kuroo laughed. “No worries, man, all good things – I promise. Suga here is a saint. He’d never speak ill of anyone.”

Hajime scoffed. “What kind of crap has this guy been feeding you?”

Suga stared at them over the rim of his cup. “I am an angel.”

“Your halo is held up by your horns, Kou.”

“Because of your terrible influence, Haji.”

“No one tells you to hang around me,” Hajime said.

Suga smirked. “I feel bad for you.” Then he picked up a menu, not paying any mind to the soft kick dealt to his shin, and handed it to Hajime. “Anyway, let’s order. I’m starving.”

Hajime took the menu, a little confused. “You’re not getting anything?”

“I already know what I want.”

“The usual?” Kuroo asked.

Suga grinned. “You know it.”

Hajime glanced over his choices. “Um, I guess I’ll have this.” He pointed to one of the sandwiches and then one of the cakes in the dessert section.

“Great choice,” Kuroo grinned. “I’ll be back with your order in a bit.” He walked away, shouting a “Hey, Kenma!” before disappearing into the back.

“He was… interesting,” Hajime said.

Suga chuckled. “Yeah, he’s one of those guys you either like or you don’t. I personally think he’s hilarious. He likes to push people’s buttons, though, so watch out.”

Hajime picked up his mug again. “Sounds like someone else I know.”

Suga placed his hand to his chest in mock surprise. “I would _never.”_

“Sure, Kou. Sure.”

Suga then proceeded to tell him that Kuroo went to school in Kyoto for biochemical engineering and played volleyball there, saying that they'd played against them a few years ago in college. Hajime thought he remembered Kuroo – who in the world could forget that insane hair? – and came back after graduation.

“He’s just trying to earn some money before moving to Osaka and getting on his feet. He works here with his best friend, Kenma,” Suga explained.

Hajime nodded, listening intently.

A peaceful quiet settled over them amidst the hustle and bustle of the café and the longer he sat there, the more he could appreciate the place, even its cheesy decorations. (There’s no way he was admitting it aloud, Suga would never let him live it down.) Kuroo came back with their order, and Suga being Suga, got one of the spiciest items on the menu – their miso soup – or, well, Hajime _thought_ it was spicy until Suga told him that it was specially made for him because he said it originally wasn’t spicy enough and Kuroo, being spiteful, added more thinking that Suga couldn’t handle it. He owed Kenma lunch for the next two weeks.

They continued to sit there in silence for a moment, simply eating, until Hajime felt the tension creep back into his bones, thoughts he’d been trying to avoid all day tickling the back of his mind.

 _This would be the opportune time to ask how the baby’s doing,_ he thought. But he just kept eating.

“So you gonna tell me what’s been on your mind?” Suga asked, stirring his soup with the spoon.

Hajime cleared his throat. “What’re you talking about?”

Suga’s gaze was hard, unmoving. _Knowing._ “Don’t play dumb, Hajime. It doesn’t suit you.”

“I’m fine.”

“And don’t insult me by lying.”

Hajime sighed. “I’m _fine,_ Kou. Just a little tired.”

“You miss him, don’t you? The baby?”

Hajime paused for only a split second, but that second was enough for Suga to catch it. “No.”

“It’s okay to miss him, Hajime,” Suga said. “Your entire life for two weeks revolved around him. And I know how loving and caring you are.”

Suga continued talking, but Hajime wished he would just stop. He was saying things that Hajime already knew, things he had already tried to avoid and failed so miserably. He was trying to get over this – this guilt – that he had done something very wrong. That giving the baby to Bokuto and Akaashi had been the wrong thing to do, no matter how right he thought it was. No matter if he couldn’t give the baby the things they could.

Hajime had been happy with the baby there.

Tired and a little frustrated at times, but _happy._

The happiest he’d been in a while.

He couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t hold back. The lump in his throat, the itch in his eyes. He couldn’t help it. Maybe he didn’t want to anymore.

Hajime put his fist on the table, making the silverware rattle a bit, which made Suga stop. He lowered his head, hiding his face. “You don’t think I know that?” His voice broke, despite all his efforts to keep it in check. “You don’t think I wake up every two hours freaking out because he’s not there? Yeah, I got attached. I got attached to a baby who had no chance of staying with me.” He tried to steady his shaking hands. “And I told myself I wasn’t going to, but I did anyway and – yeah, I miss him. I miss him a lot.”

Suga was very quiet and still, making Hajime look up, and his friend’s eyes were glazed with what looked like fresh tears and he gave a smile. “There we go. That’s what I was waiting for.”

Hajime's sigh broke past his lips.

Suga placed his hand on Hajime’s. “But I _am_ sorry.”

He looked up in surprise. “For what?”

“I thought that maybe you keeping the baby would’ve made things easier, that it’d be better. But I didn’t mean to cause you pain, Hajime. I just – I thought –”

Hajime gave Suga’s hand a soft squeeze. “Don’t apologize.” He continued when Suga looked at him. “Because those were the best two weeks I’ve had in a very long time.”

And Suga smiled.

**

Hajime was ready for the weekend. 

He was ready to sit on his couch, watch TV, eat crap food, and sleep for the next two days. Which is what he was doing now. Suga was working a 2 AM shift so he told Hajime he’d give him a rain check. And with that, Hajime had a stack of movies ready to be watched and was about to get settled on the couch when there was a knock at his door.

He raised an eyebrow. It was ten at night, who the hell was visiting him?

He opened the door, and while he didn’t exactly know who he was expecting, Akaashi Keiji definitely wasn’t on that list. Hajime’s eyes widened and it took him a minute to collect his thoughts.

“Akaashi-san?”

The man sighed, and he looked exhausted. “I apologize for coming by unannounced at such a late hour, Iwaizumi-san. But we didn’t know what else to do.”

“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

“It’s the baby.”

Hajime’s blood ran cold. “What’s going on? He’s okay, isn’t he?”

“He’s not hurt or anything,” Akaashi said. “He just won’t stop crying. We’ve tried everything. But we can’t get him to calm down. We thought that maybe you might know what to do.”

Hajime’s heart thundered against his chest, a hammer – a war drum – and there he felt an unmistakable tug. He shouldn’t… he _shouldn’t…_

“Where is he?” Hajime asked.

“He’s in the car with Koutarou. I’ll go get him,” Akaashi said and then he disappeared from Hajime’s doorstep, and there was a loud wail in the distance, drawing ever nearer.

Something in Hajime screamed at him – _run over there! Go get him!_ But he stayed rooted in the doorway, waiting until Akaashi returned with Bokuto, who had the baby in his arms and looked just as tired as Akaashi. The baby who was crying and flailing and sounded like he was in so much pain sorrow.

Hajime held out his arms automatically, and Bokuto handed over the baby with no hesitation. He held the infant close, running his fingers through the tufts of brown hair, and talking softly. “Hey, what’s the matter, little guy?”

It took a minute of coaxing, but the cries slowly ebbed into sniffles and whimpers as the baby opened his eyes and looked at Hajime’s face, before finally quieting.

Hajime smiled, wiping the baby’s tear-soaked face. “There we go.”

**

The smell… this feeling… it was so familiar. It was _right._ He opened his tired eyes that burned and stung, and his vision started slowly coming into focus. And his little heart swelled at the person staring back at him.

His daddy!

He was here!

He cried and his daddy came for him, just like he always did! He didn’t leave him, after all!

He had been so scared, but it was going to be okay now. He didn’t have to worry. His daddy would protect him. He would keep him safe and warm. It would be okay. He forgot about the strange sounds and smells, the strange faces – the strange people. They didn’t matter anymore. None of that mattered anymore. His father was here, and that’s what was important.

It would be okay.

**

“Man, that’s the quietest he’s been all week,” Bokuto said, running a hand through his hair that fell in his face. “You were right, Keiji.”

Hajime looked at them, confused. Right about what?

Akaashi seemed to catch on. “At first, I thought that maybe he was sick. But after getting the results back from his bloodwork, he’s completely healthy. And then I realized it was because he was scared. He was with people he didn’t know and away from his primary caretaker – his parent.”

Hajime froze at the word. 

“You’re all he’s ever known, Iwaizumi-san,” Akaashi said. “He won’t be happy with us. The only person he will ever be fully comfortable with is _you.”_

Hajime looked down at the baby, who had fallen asleep during their conversation and looked absolutely at peace. He was… a parent?

“I’m not going to force him to stay somewhere he is going to be miserable,” Akaashi said. “I won’t do it. He wants to be here. And you know as much as I do that you want him here, too.”

That was something Hajime had no longer been able to deny to himself. He wanted the baby here. He wanted the baby here with him. He wanted to take care of him. Love and care for him. Raise him. He wanted it so badly. But he couldn’t take this opportunity from Akaashi and Bokuto either. They’d been trying for so long unsuccessfully and he didn’t want to take their one shot at true happiness away from him.

“Keep him, Iwaizumi-san,” Akaashi said.

“But, what about you two?” Hajime asked.

Bokuto chimed in with a grin. “Don’t worry about me and Keiji! We’ll figure it out.”

“You just make sure to take care of him, okay?” Akaashi said. “Give him what we couldn’t.”

Hajime recognized his own words and was about to speak but the words wouldn’t come.

“Yes, Sugawara-san told me everything.” Akaashi’s smile was small. “And Iwaizumi-san, believe me when I say this: you have given this baby more love and happiness in two weeks than some parents have given their children in _years._ You have done such a wonderful job.”

Hajime had no words to say but a million running through his head as he processed what Akaashi said. He had done a wonderful job? The baby was happy with him? He was a parent? He could feel the tears from this entire week cloud his vision and he struggled to keep them at bay. 

So he nodded with a teary smile. “Thank you.”

“I’ll go get his stuff,” Bokuto said, heading back out to the car.

After everything was inside and put in its proper place, the movies and food on the table were long forgotten, as Hajime laid down in bed with the baby lying next to him. With _Tooru_ lying next to him. 

And it was the best sleep Hajime had gotten in a long time.

**

“What’re you gonna name him?” Suga asked from his seat on the couch with the baby in his arms, smiling and stroking his hair, as the baby stared at him, looking perplexed but also curious. Suga chuckled. “You’re gonna be a little heartbreaker when you get older.”

“Well.” Hajime came back from the kitchen with two sodas and placed them on the coffee table, sitting next to his friend. “I was thinking of naming him ‘Tooru’.” 

Suga visibly tensed and he looked at Hajime, eyes a fraction wider, brows knit together slightly. He relaxed, though, and looked back to the baby. “Tooru, huh?” A smile graced his face, nostalgia in his eyes. “I love it. Fits almost too perfectly.”

Hajime chuckled.

Suga didn’t even know the half of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the comments and kudos! You all have been absolutely wonderful and so supportive and there are no words to express my gratitude!
> 
> Hit me up on tumblr if you want!


	5. Butterfly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga has one hell of a right hook.

The trees had burst into shades of reds, oranges, and yellows – popping bright against the warm afternoon sky and blending with the chill of twilight – and the cool tendrils of wind carried the Tokyo through summer and into fall. Pork buns, hot drinks, and eventually nights by a fire undoubtedly made this Hajime’s favorite time of the year.

As if to emphasize that, Hajime buried himself back underneath the blankets, reaching out his hand and placing it tenderly atop the form next to him, and smiled at the rise and fall of a tiny chest. He opened his eyes, the sleep induced haze waning into clarity, and zeroed in on the sleeping infant. And Hajime, not one to take these quiet moments for granted, laid there and embraced the morning. 

Embraced the role of a parent.

Hajime had always wanted kids – that much was certain – but he was never exactly sure when he wanted to settle down with someone and think about starting a family, despite his parents (particularly his mother) wanting it to be before they “grew too old and decrepit to run around with the little ones.” (“Her words, not mine,” his father had said.) But now, Hajime had one of the things he always wanted in life. 

And despite the fact that some of the ways Tooru looked at him, smiled, or even acted reminded him so strongly of Oikawa, he knew they were different. Two completely different souls. The resemblance was there, as Hajime noticed when Tooru started getting bigger, but they were still _different._ Tooru’s hair was far more unruly than Oikawa’s for one, their noses were shaped a little differently (Tooru’s was more button-like), and his eyes became a lot darker than Oikawa’s – coffee more so than cocoa. And he was so much shier than Oikawa was, according to the countless stories about them that he’d heard from his mother growing up. (“That kid never knew a stranger,” his mother had said, sadness and nostalgia in her eyes.)

It was a little strange, sure, but Hajime was okay with it.

Suga had been an absolute saint throughout the whole adoption process, which took a course of two months to get all the paperwork completed and approved, and was there with Hajime every step of the way. His father had helped out just like Suga said he would and went over everything with Hajime, even if it was over the phone. And when the paperwork read ‘Iwaizumi Tooru’, Hajime was thankful that he was behind closed doors because he couldn’t stop crying. Tooru was _his._ He had a _son._ And of course, he had called Suga after he had (somewhat) collected himself, and Suga only made it worse by crying, too.

_“Stop it, dumbass, you’re gonna get me all worked up again!” Hajime had said, tears building up in his eyes again._

_“I can’t help it,” Suga’s laugh broke a bit. “I’m just so happy for you, Hajime. I’m so happy!”_

They went out for tofu that night to celebrate, the evening ending laughs, Suga asking the chef to give him the spiciest tofu he could concoct, and Hajime’s meal thankfully safe from Suga’s mischief.

And even if never found Mr. Right, Hajime knew he’d be okay.

Tooru stirred next to him, letting out small noises as he woke up and stretched out his tiny legs, and blinked a few times as he looked around with his eyes finally settling on Hajime. And a large smile graced his face.

“Bah!” Tooru squealed.

Hajime chuckled.

Tooru cooed and reached out his small, pudgy hands and ran them along the contours of Hajime’s face, eyes shining in the morning light that filtered through the room. “Baba!”

Hajime stroked Tooru’s cheek with his thumb and the infant immediately grabbed it. He smiled. “Good morning, Tooru.”

After lying down for a few more minutes, Hajime slid out of bed, lifted Tooru into his arms after changing his diaper, and moved towards the kitchen to make a bottle. It was Friday, and Hajime had the day off, so that meant he actually had time to go run some much needed errands. And after feeding Tooru, he dressed them both for the nippy weather that usually accompanied the end of November, and they were on their way out the door.

Every single day of every single week, Hajime questioned if he was doing everything right, if he was being a good enough father to Tooru, if Tooru was happy. And Suga would reassure him without hesitation with a smile on his face, even as Tooru was yanking his hair. If Suga was busy and Hajime had a question, he’d call his mother and ask for help, and she was always happy to though every phone call ended with her asking when Hajime was going down to Miyagi and see him and meet her new grandson. And that’s why Hajime requested Monday and Tuesday of next week off – so he could drive down to Miyagi and see his family.

“We’ve got a busy weekend ahead of us, little man,” Hajime said, remembering that he mainly needed to restock on formula and pampers for the trip ahead. He covered his son’s head with the handmade beanie his mother had shipped over before autumn crept in. It was brown and made Tooru look like he had bear ears, something that even Hajime had to admit was adorable.

And Tooru just smiled.

Upon arriving at the grocery store, Hajime fit Tooru in the sling that Suga had gotten him as a surprise gift so Hajime could have both hands free when out and about. At first, he thought he looked a little awkward with it on, and Suga told him that many fathers wear them – not just mothers – and that it’s a lot harder to go grocery shopping when only one hand is available. And Hajime agreed that ease of access was a lot more important than appearances. Hajime also learned very quickly that Tooru didn’t so much as hate being in the sling as he hated facing Hajime’s back. He would just whimper and cry until Hajime adjusted it to where Tooru could look at his face. His son didn’t put up much of a fuss after that.

Another thing that Hajime learned very quickly was that young men with children – particularly babies – made some women – particularly college age – come running. They would fawn over Tooru, squealing about how cute he was and asking Hajime if he was a single father. Hajime didn’t really understand why they were asking those questions and being all giggly until Suga explained that they were flirting with Hajime through Tooru. Of course, Suga was laughing – “You’re so dense, Haji!” he had said – and Hajime hadn’t felt so thoroughly embarrassed and stupid in a very long time.

He was a lot more alert from that moment on.

At any rate, he was now walking through the produce section, Tooru clutching onto his shirt and looking around curiously, as he filled a plastic bag with apples – that is, until he dropped one on the floor and it rolled a few feet away.

“Shit,” he said and went after it. He was about to bend down and pick it up when someone else beat him to the punch. He sighed, a thank you on his tongue, but stopped. Short, dark brown hair and soft, even darker eyes that held a certain degree of intensity, broad shoulders…

“Here you go,” the man said with a smile and held out the fruit. “Looks like you got your hands full there.”

Hajime blinked owlishly for a minute. “Sawamura?”

The man in question stopped, staring at Hajime for a bit before recognition spread across his face. “Iwaizumi Hajime!” He smiled. “I’ll be damned.”

Hajime held out his hand and Daichi shook it. “It’s been, what, like six years? How have you been?”

The last time Hajime had seen Daichi was at their last Inter High when they lost against Karasuno. And even in the middle of the game, Hajime couldn’t help but admire – _be in awe_ – of how easily Daichi seemed to receive his spikes and Oikawa’s monster serves. He respected how easily Daichi led his team. How the confidence came almost naturally.

It was a different type of leadership from Oikawa’s. It was quiet, almost unassuming – the calm before the storm. The eye of a hurricane. Biding its time before it struck with gale force winds and rapid fire rain. Detonating. Terrifying, but beautiful in the most dangerous way.

“Can’t exactly complain,” Daichi said, and his eyes fell on Tooru. “Oh? And who is this? He yours?”

Hajime couldn’t help the pride that swelled up in his chest every time someone asked that. “Yeah. This is Tooru.” He placed his hand atop the baby’s head and smiled.

Daichi smiled. “Hi, Tooru.”

**

Tooru stared at this strange man talking to his daddy. Who was he?

He didn’t look mean and he was smiling, but he didn’t look like the man with the pretty hair that always came over to see him, or the really loud one with bright eyes and that made funny faces, or the really quiet one that smelled nice. He also didn’t look like the really sweet girl with blonde hair that took care of him when his daddy was gone.  
He was unknown. Foreign. 

Tooru kept his head close to his daddy’s chest, listening to the strong, steady heartbeat and rumbling voice. His daddy didn’t _sound_ scared of this new person, but he still wasn’t sure, so he just clung tighter to his father’s shirt and watched this stranger try and talk to him.

**

“He’s a little shy around new people,” Hajime explained, keeping his hand on Tooru’s head.

Daichi nodded. “I understand.”

“So do you live here in Tokyo or are you just visiting? I feel like Koushi would’ve said something by now.” Hajime put down the handheld basket full of groceries.

“Oh no, just visiting,” Daichi said. “I actually came to surprise Suga. We haven’t seen each other in quite a while so I figured I’d stop by.”

Hajime deadpanned. “You _do_ know Koushi and surprises don’t mix, right?”

“Trust me, I _still_ feel it.” Daichi rubbed his stomach with a chuckle. “The guy’s got a lethal right hook.”

“As long as you know what you’re getting into.” Hajime’s attention was diverted for a second when Tooru started cooing at him.

Daichi smiled as he watched them. “Well, I’d better get going. My friend wants me to meet him at his job since he’s giving me a ride to Suga’s and he’ll give me hell if I’m late.” He pulled out his phone and glanced at it when it vibrated in his pocket. “Speak of the devil, that’s him. Do you happen to know where the Cat-fé is?”

Hajime knew exactly which friend Daichi was talking about now. “Yeah, it’s not very far from here. Just a couple of blocks over and it’ll be on your left.”

Daichi nodded. “Couple of blocks over on the left. Thanks, I appreciate it.” He held out his hand again for Hajime to shake. “It was nice seeing you again, Iwaizumi-san. You should definitely come hang out with me and Suga so we can all catch up while I’m here.”

Hajime scratched his head. “I’m actually heading back to Miyagi tonight to visit family.”

“How long will you be there?”

“I’m coming back Tuesday morning.”

Daichi grinned. “Well, luckily for you, I’ll be here for the next two weeks. Don’t be a stranger, yeah? I’ll see you around sometime. Oh, and bring Tooru, too.”

Hajime nodded. “Yeah, definitely.”

With that, Daichi waved and was off. 

And Hajime couldn’t explain it, but when Daichi smiled at him, his heart did a funny little jump.

**

“Yes, Mom – I’m getting packed to go now,” Hajime said as he packed his clothes into his suitcase next to Tooru’s smaller, much more colorful ones.

 _“I’m just so excited to see you two!”_ his mother chirped.

 _“She’s been going on about it for the last two weeks, son,”_ his father chimed in from the background, his tone bored with a tinge of sarcasm. _“Please hurry and come down. She’s in her knitting phase again and we’re all suffering.”_

There was a laugh, a crash somewhere in the back, and Hajime didn’t hear his father rejoin the conversation. If there was one thing he inherited from his adoptive parents, it was his mother’s pure, unadulterated strength and her ability to throw things with frightening accuracy.

 _“So, how long is the drive? About three hours? Four?”_ his mom asked, innocence in her tone.

“Is Dad still breathing?” Hajime glanced at Tooru who was sleeping in his playpen.

 _“Oh, your father’s fine. He’s just being melodramatic,”_ she said. _“Be careful on your way here, okay?”_

“Always am. I’ll see you soon.”

They hung after that, and Hajime finished packing. He made haste to load their bags in the car while Tooru was still sleeping, and returned to do a quick run through to make sure he had everything when his phone started vibrating like crazy… with six new messages. All from Koushi. His name was in capital letters in every message, but the very last one nearly had Hajime doubling over in laughter.

_From: Koushi_

**_I KNOCKED DAICHI OUT_ **

Hajime managed to type out a response amidst his incessant chuckling.

_**I told him you’re not a fan of surprises.** _

He sent another one right after.

_**Nice going, Kou. You don’t see the guy for two years and you render him unconscious.** _

Suga’s response came a minute later.

**_I’VE ALREADY GOTTEN SHIT FROM KUROO I DON’T NEED ANY FROM YOU EITHER_ **

At that, Hajime’s chuckles grew louder, and he was about to reply when he got a Snapchat from Kuroo – both him and Koushi insisted that he get one – and Hajime resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the username flashing across his screen. (“CatDaddy is an awesome username – be jealous,” Kuroo had said.) Hajime opened it nonetheless and it was a selfie of Kuroo grinning wildly while Daichi was spread out on Suga’s couch, clearly unconscious, and Suga was fretting next to him.

 _Surprise!_ the caption said.

And Hajime laughed so hard, Tooru woke up.

**

The drive was a little tedious, especially when the cityscape was behind him and there was nothing but rolling hills ahead, but Hajime would be lying if he said he wasn’t excited to see his family again. It’d been some time since he was last in Miyagi, about half a year, since work usually left him busy and it was hard to make the drive down on a regular basis. 

Tooru slept through most of the ride, and could be heard cooing and shaking his favorite toy rattle.

And when Hajime finally arrived in his hometown that evening, they were both ready to get the hell out of the car. He took Tooru out from his car seat (just in time, too, because the baby was starting to fuss) and started unloading their luggage. It was only 9:00 so his family should still be awake, if the lights still on in the house were any indication.

As if she could sense it, Hajime’s mother came running out the front door and headed straight for him, pulling Hajime into a tight hug that almost knocked him clean over, and he could see tears streaking down her face in the pale moonlight.

Hajime smiled, hugging his mother his free arm. “Hi, Mom.”

She looked up at him and grinned with her tears. “I’m so happy you’re home, Hajime-chan!”

“It’s good to be home,” he said.

Her attention was immediately on the baby in Hajime’s arms. “And this is Tooru?”

“Michiko,” his father called from the doorway. “Let the man come inside – the baby’s gonna catch cold out here!” His father came over and grabbed the suitcase and smiled. “Hey, Hajime.”

“Hi, Dad,” Hajime picked up the diaper bag and slung it on his shoulder.

Once they were inside and out of the cold, Hajime removed Tooru’s jacket and beanie, revealing his wild, sweeping curls. Tooru clung to him, obviously anxious, and watched Hajime’s mother and father with careful eyes. Hajime understood his son’s nervousness. The only other person Tooru was most comfortable with besides his father was Suga, with Bokuto and Akaashi stopping by every once and a while, but Suga was the only person Tooru would let hold him for long periods of time without crying for Hajime to come get him. Sometimes even he wouldn’t even let Yachi hold him when she took care of him during the day while Hajime was at work. (She had offered the minute that she found out about little Tooru and said she’d much rather take care of a baby than file paperwork.) 

“How was the drive, son?” Hajime’s father asked, putting the suitcase down by the door.

“It was fine. Long,” Hajime said.

Hajime’s mother walked up to them, her smile soft and eyes bright. “He’s absolutely precious, Haji-chan. I’m so happy for you.” Her voice lilted on notes as she talked to Tooru. “Hi, sweetie.”

Tooru hid his face in the crook of Hajime’s neck.

“He’s gets shy sometimes,” Hajime explained.

“That’s quite all right,” his mother said. “You used to be really shy at one point, too, you know.”

“Oh, Mom, not this again.” They’d be here all night if she talked about Hajime’s childhood. Even longer if she brought out the photo album. He knew she was proud of him, of the man he’d become, and that she loved him with all her heart, as if he were her own biological child.

“You were so shy and quiet when we brought you home,” she gushed. “That didn’t last long.”

Hajime was adopted by Iwaizumi Satoru and Michiko after being found wandering the streets one day by authorities – dirty, alone, and only five years old. The police report said that he had little memory of anything prior to being found because of a blow to the head, which initiated a full-scale investigation to find his parents and the attacker, with no luck in finding either. He had stayed at the police station for about three days until being moved into a group home in the next town. One of the investigators working the case, Michiko’s good friend from school, then asked her and Satoru to foster him for a little bit until they found a more permanent home. They took care of Hajime for about a month, and when Hajime called Michiko “mom”, they knew he was there to stay.

Granted, Hajime wasn’t told any of this until he was much, much older when he was being picked on for not looking like his parents. But he considered them his real mom and dad as much as the next child would.

Hajime didn’t remember much of his short stay at the orphanage, but he did make one friend. A confident boy with short, sandy brown hair and eyes of the same color, who constantly looked after Hajime, and he was always made fun of for his height by the older kids. Hajime would never forget him, the boy named Morisuke.

And this made Hajime wonder when Tooru would ask for the truth. And when Hajime would have to give it to him.

They continued on like that for the rest of the evening, and Tooru gradually opened up to Hajime’s parents, something they were absolutely delighted about as they held him, and Tooru traced their faces with his hands and pulled on their hair.

“He kind of looks like Tooru-kun. Your best friend, I mean,” Michiko mused much later as she held the sleeping infant in her arms, her fingers carding through his tufts. “The hair especially.”

“How _is_ Oikawa-san doing?” Hajime asked.

Hajime’s mother and Oikawa’s mother were best friends, had been their whole lives, much like their children. Unfortunately, after the train accident that took her son, Oikawa’s father suffered a fatal heart attack not even four months later.

“Taking it day by day,” Michiko said, her smile sad. “You know how she is – she doesn’t like to show weakness. She’s coming by tomorrow afternoon, and I know she’d love to see you. You can introduce her to Tooru. Let her know you’re doing okay.” She gave Tooru back to Hajime. “She worries about you and Suga-kun all the time, you know.”

Hajime blinked. “She does?”

“All the time,” his father said. “She’s always asking how you two are doing. And we’re always telling her that you two are doing fine so we don’t cause her further stress.” His father looked at him, blue eyes calculating and questioning. “But are you two _really_ doing okay?”

Hajime thought about it for a moment. It had been a year and four months since they lost Oikawa so suddenly in a cacophony of screeching tires and gnashing metal – but was Suga really getting better? Were those smiles and laughs genuine? Or was he just putting up a front for Hajime and still cried himself to sleep some nights? Hajime was sure he did from time to time. Hell, even he still found himself cloaked in random bouts of sadness when his late best friend crossed his mind. The man who got on his nerves but the man who was curious in worlds beyond their own. The man who was so fascinated with the stars he wanted to be one.

But then Hajime thought about these last few months, how much wider Suga’s smiles seemed to be. A little brighter. A little more real than they used to be. A little more real every day. Hajime saw it at the café when Suga was talking to Kuroo. He saw it when Suga was blowing raspberries on Tooru’s stomach and the baby’s laughter filled the air. He saw it in the quiet moments when they’d watch movies every Friday night.

“Yeah,” Hajime said. “Yeah, we’re okay.”

**

Hajime hadn’t seen Oikawa’s mother since the funeral – both her son’s and her husband’s – and never really knew what to say to her when he finally would. Apologies seemed hollow. Worthless. And he tried to think of what he could do while feeding Tooru early that morning. What would she think of Tooru? He lost himself in his overthinking, and Tooru fisted his shirt in his tiny hands, bringing Hajime back to reality.

Hajime smiled. “Hey.”

Tooru smiled in return, some formula spilling from the corners of his mouth.

Hajime cleaned him up and was about to go and change his diaper when the doorbell rang. His mother rushed to the door and opened it.

“Sayuri!” Michiko grinned. “Thank you so much for coming by. Haji-chan is here!”

Oikawa Sayuri smiled at them, her cocoa brown eyes falling on Hajime. And then she froze right on the spot, her eyes never leaving the baby. Her voice was nothing more than a whisper, barely heard even in the quiet morning. “T-Tooru?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clear any future confusion: the baby will be referred to as Tooru and our late, dear Grand King will be known as Oikawa. Except in some instances, like Oikawa's mother, but I hope it's clear enough who they're talking about.
> 
> Thank you so much everyone for your continued love and support! Every comment, kudos, and hit is cherished. You're all wonderful.


	6. Gasoline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime can be dense every once and a while. Just not this time.

“Oikawa-san, it’s nice to see you again.” Hajime stood up with Tooru held close to his chest.

Her still wide eyes lifted from the baby and settled on Hajime. “H-Hajime-kun…” She quickly smiled. “I’ve heard you’ve been doing well.” Her attention was back on Tooru. “Is this the grandson I’ve heard so much about?” She approached Hajime and smiled when Tooru met her eyes.

“Sure is!” Michiko beamed. “He’s an absolute sweetheart, Sayuri.”

“What’s his name?” she asked.

“Tooru,” Hajime said.

Sayuri stopped. “After my…?”

Hajime nodded and added a smile for good measure. “Yes.”

There were unmistakable tears in Sayuri’s eyes as she continued watching the baby. “He… he looks so much like – oh my goodness.” 

Hajime started to wonder if introducing Sayuri to Tooru was such a good idea. He knew that Tooru undoubtedly resembled Oikawa, even if upon closer inspection the differences between the two were very clear. The look in the woman’s eyes was almost too much. She saw her dead son in this infant. And the last thing Hajime wanted was to cause her pain.

“That’s what Satoru and I were saying,” Michiko chirped. “He kind of acts like him, too.”

She held out her arms, obviously tentative. “Do you mind if I hold him?”

“Not at all,” Hajime said, giving Tooru to Oikawa’s mother.

She ran her fingers through Tooru’s hair, voice soft and teary. “Hi, Tooru-chan.”

**

Tooru stared at her face. Her brown hair and eyes. Her smile.

And he didn’t understand this feeling bubbling up in his chest. Clenching around his heart. Suffocating him. It was something more than what he was used to. Something so much more than just anxiety. He knew his little heart beat faster when he met someone he didn’t recognize. When he was approached by someone that wasn’t his daddy or the man with pretty hair. Or even the guy that made funny faces or the one that smelled nice. He knew that feeling very well.

But this?

This was entirely new. The kind of new he didn’t like. It was confusing.

Terror.

Tooru had never felt _terror_ before.

This woman…

This woman was dangerous.

She would hurt him. She would do horrible, horrible things to him. She would make him feel bad. He didn’t know how he knew, but every bone in his body was telling him to _run._

He had to get away.

Where was his daddy?

He wanted his daddy!

_He had to get away from her!_

**

Tooru let out a loud wail, struggling to try and free himself from Sayuri’s hold, screaming at the top of his lungs like her very touch was burning him alive. He reached for Hajime and would’ve fallen out of Sayuri’s arms if the man hadn’t caught him. He continued wailing even in Hajime’s hold, tiny hands clutching into his father’s shirt and hiding his face in Hajime’s neck.

Hajime, however, was just as confused as everyone else. He didn’t understand. One minute Tooru had seemed fine – even _comfortable_ – with Sayuri, and the next he was suddenly howling and falling into Hajime’s arms. Tooru kept clambering at him, scrambling to find purchase in his clothes, whimpering and soaking his neck with tears. His son had never reacted this negatively to someone before. He knew Tooru didn’t like to be around new people without Hajime nearby, but this… this was different. Tooru was scared.

No, not even that.

Tooru was _terrified._

Hajime could see it in his eyes, hear it in his cries.

“What’s wrong with him, Hajime-chan?” Michiko asked, hurrying to his side. “Is he okay?”

“I don’t know,” Hajime said, rubbing Tooru’s back.

Sayuri squeezed her hands together, smile apologetic. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset him.” 

“You’re fine, Oikawa-san,” Hajime said. “Excuse me for a moment.” And then he went to his old bedroom and shut the door, still rubbing small circles in Tooru’s back. He kept his tone low, even, and warm. “Hey buddy, what’s the matter?”

Tooru continued to cry and moan. “Dada… Dada…”

“I’m here, Tooru,” Hajime said. “I’m here.”

And that’s all the baby kept repeating between sobs.

Hajime continued trying to comfort him, unable to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of his head. Tooru reacted like that with Sayuri for a reason. There _had_ to be a reason. The last time his son cried like that was when he was still a newborn after being with Bokuto and Akaashi for that short amount of time. But even then, that was very different from the wail Tooru had let out just now.

It set Hajime’s parental instincts on overdrive.

After about five minutes, Tooru wasn’t any closer to calming down so Hajime shrugged on his coat, doing the same to Tooru with the addition of his bear beanie, and they were heading for the front door.

His mother was setting down mugs of hot tea for everyone and she looked at him, expression curious. “Haji-chan, where are you going?”

“Just going for a quick walk,” Hajime said, slipping on his shoes. “We’ll be back soon.”

His mother nodded and Tooru started crying louder just as they walked out the door, and all Hajime could really do was continue whispering comforting words and patting his back.

Not wanting to expose him to the elements too much, especially now that it was getting colder, Hajime really only went on walks with Tooru like this when the baby was inconsolable, and also because he wanted to avoid the wrath of the other sleeping tenants at four in the morning. He then learned that Tooru loved staring up at the night sky. At the stars.

While it was still early Saturday morning, Hajime figured a walk was worth a try.

They were about a two blocks away when Tooru finally started to ease into soft sniffles before slipping into a somewhat restless sleep, hands still fisted in Hajime’s shirt. The man sighed and parked himself on one of the benches near an empty playground, the one he remembered always playing on as a kid.

He still continued rubbing Tooru’s back, trying to figure what exactly set Tooru off like that. He’d known Sayuri for almost his entire life and she was one of the sweetest women he’d ever met, second to his mom. She would always make snacks when he’d go home with Oikawa after school and treated him as if he were her own son, too. She was always so loving and knew that Hajime and Oikawa were positively inseparable.

Suga had told him that babies were very intuitive, that they knew when someone was bad news just by being in their arms or even looking at them.

Hajime placed a kiss to Tooru’s head.

Was there something he wasn’t seeing?

His phone vibrated in his back pocket, and he tried to grab without waking Tooru, and a Snapchat notification from Suga lit up the screen. He opened it and it was a picture of Suga, Daichi, and Kuroo at a restaurant and – were Daichi and Kuroo _crying?_ Well, to be more specific, Daichi was guzzling a glass of water and Kuroo looked like he was choking _while_ they had tears streaming down their faces. Suga, however, held up a peace sign that was accompanied by a huge grin.

 _I win!_ the caption said.

Hajime was confused at first until he saw the food on the table and suddenly felt very sorry for Kuroo and Daichi. Suga had subjected them to his favorite super spicy mapo tofu at his favorite restaurant that was probably made by his favorite cook. (“He knows how to add the just right amount of kick,” Suga had said while Hajime was in the process of downing both his and Suga’s glasses of water.)

 _Those poor souls,_ Hajime thought.

Hajime decided to send a text message instead of a Snapchat. He didn’t consider himself very photogenic, and any pictures he did send were usually of Tooru.

_**You’re evil embodied.** _

Suga’s response was quick.

_**You’re all just a bunch of weaklings. They challenged me and I won. They should know better by now.** _

Hajime could almost see Suga’s smirk.

_**You’re a crusher of hopes and dreams.** _

Suga’s answer had a picture attached of Daichi and Kuroo looking utterly defeated with full plates of tofu before them.

_**I am a cruel and capricious god.** _

Suga then sent another message.

_**How’s home been? Little Tooru doing okay?** _

There were quite a few people walking around this early in the morning, and Hajime didn’t pay much attention to them, too engrossed in his conversation. That is, until one of them called out to him. He looked up, looking around until he saw two figures waving at him and walking towards him.

“Yo, Iwaizumi!”

Hajime pocketed his phone and stood up. “Hanamaki? Matsukawa?”

Hanamaki and Matsukawa hadn’t physically changed much if Hajime was being honest, except maybe they’d grown another few centimeters and whatever lingering baby fat they had in high school was long gone, and it was nice to see two familiar faces. 

“Long time, no see,” Hanamaki said.

Hajime nodded, glad they were able to slip so easily back into a conversation, even after all these years. It made him feel like he was in high school again. “Definitely. What have you guys been up to?”

“Well, Hanamaki here is coaching the new Seijou volleyball team. Says they’re an interesting bunch,” Matsukawa answered, nodding towards the man next to him who threw up a peace sign. “I teach math there.”

“Inseparable as always,” Hajime commented.

“You know, I’d be lying if I said that having your boyfriend work at the same place as you doesn’t make things interesting,” Hanamaki said.

“Wait – you guys are a thing?” Hajime resisted the urge to shout. “Since when?!”

Hanamaki and Matsukawa were quiet for a long moment before bursting into peals of raucous laughter.

“Damn, I knew he was dense but I never knew it was _this_ bad,” Hanamaki was having too hard a time pulling himself together to continue.

Matsukawa filled in for him. “There’s a reason Oikawa said we were up each other’s asses all the time, Iwaizumi. It’s because we were literally _up each other’s asses.”_

Hajime felt his face grow hot. _“Oh.”_

“Literally everyone on the team knew, man,” Hanamaki said once he gathered his bearings, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Literally _everyone._ And we were just waiting for you to notice. Issei and I were actually thinking of hanging up neon signs.”

Hajime wanted to just crawl in a hole. How in the hell did he _not notice_ something so _obvious?_ They were always attached to each other at the hip. If Hanamaki was somewhere, one could almost guarantee that Matsukawa wasn’t far behind. They used to _swap uniforms_ on game days for crying out loud! If their relationship was a snake, it would’ve bit him. Multiple times. And even then, he might’ve not caught on.

“All right, fine – laugh it up. That one’s on me,” Hajime said.

“Oh, believe me, we will,” Hanamaki smirked. “But that’s not what’s important. Issei, you see what I see, right? I’m not having some wild ass dream?” He pointed to Hajime.

Hajime raised an eyebrow. What were they getting at?

“No, you’re definitely awake, Takahiro,” Matsukawa said. “That looks like a baby.”

Hanamaki hummed in thought. “Don’t you need to have sex to have one of those?”

“Last I checked,” Matsukawa nodded. “But Iwaizumi’s too dense to notice when a girl likes him. Or too dense to know when someone likes him in general. Definitely not observant enough to notice when two of his friends have been dating each other since their second year of high school.”

Hajime’s brow twitched in irritation. They weren’t ever going to let that go.

“I adopted him, assholes,” Hajime said. “And is it really that hard to believe that I could’ve had sex and had a baby?”

Matsukawa and Hanamaki nodded. “Yes.”

“I hate you both.”

All teasing aside, they were very happy to see each other again and ended up walking to the coffee shop not too far away from where they were and caught up on the last few years. Tooru woke up during this, too, eyeing Hanamaki and Matsukawa carefully but having nowhere near as bad an outburst as he did earlier. In fact, after a few minutes of watching Hanamaki and Matsukawa, he went right back to sleep. Hajime stroked his head, worry nipping at the edge of his mind.

“I just can’t believe you’re a dad, man,” Matsukawa said, leaning back in his chair. “It’s insane what can change in six years.”

“What do you mean?” Hajime asked.

“I mean that we thought you’d be one of the last third years to settle down with a family. Out of the second years, too, if I'm being honest,” Matsukawa answered. “Hell, it almost suits you. Like you were born to be one.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Then again, you were always considered to be the ‘mom’ of the team.”

Matsukawa chuckled. “Yeah, he was always having to keep Kyoutani and Oikawa in line.”

At the mention of the late setter, a wave of nostalgia washed over them, but they still had smiles on their faces.

Hanamaki started to laugh. “Remember that time on the way back from our second Inter High and Kyoutani had drawn on Oikawa’s face with permanent marker when he was sleeping?”

Hajime rubbed his face. “I wanted to kill him because Oikawa _would not_ shut up about it.”

_“Kyouken-chan is so mean!” Oikawa whined._

_Hajime groaned. “Shut_ up, _Assikawa! He only drew a mustache and wrote ‘idiot’ on your forehead. He could’ve done something much worse like Hanamaki and Matsukawa did.”_

_“You’re supposed to feel bad for me, Iwa-chan!”_

_“Well, I don’t.”_

But Hajime had been secretly thankful that Kyoutani had drawn on Oikawa’s face. That was the levity the whole team needed after such a loss, especially when they all blamed themselves for losing to Karasuno. Oikawa blamed himself the most, saying that there was so many things he could’ve done differently. Asking what kind of captain he was when he couldn’t even lead their team to victory. He ultimately broke down when everyone had cleared the locker room back at school, and Hajime sat there and held him until he was ready to go home.

“We got him back for it though,” Matsukawa said. “We drew a dick on his head, remember?”

How could Hajime forget? Kyoutani threw a fit, and Hajime had to knock him on the head – again.

But it _was_ pretty funny.

Hajime missed those days.

“Since we’re feeling pretty nostalgic,” Hanamaki started. “Hajime.”

Hajime looked at the former wing spiker.

Hanamaki rolled up his sleeves and placed one arm on the table. “I believe you and I have some unfinished business.”

A smirk replaced Hajime’s intrigued expression. “You sure you want to do this here? In a public setting? I don’t want to humiliate you in front of all these good people.” He placed his free arm on the table, his hand clasping with Hanamaki’s in the middle. A good arm-wrestling match never failed to make his day. And Hanamaki was the only one who ever posed any sort of challenge.

“Want me to hold Tooru?” Matsukawa asked.

“Nah, this won’t take long,” Hajime said.

“You’re sounding awfully confident there, Iwaizumi,” Hanamaki said. “Better watch it or that daddy weight is gonna catch up to you.”

Hajime just smirked.

Matsukawa placed his hand atop their joined ones. “Ready?” He waited for a moment, watching their muscles tense, before moving his hand. “Go!”

It didn’t take long at all. 

In fact, Hanamaki blinked and his arm was already on the table. It took him a minute to process what just happened, however, and he looked at Iwaizumi with wide eyes.

Matsukawa, on the other hand, didn’t look all that surprised. “Was it just me or did he kick your ass faster than normal?”

Hajime’s smirk only broadened. “How’s _that_ for daddy weight?”

After Hanamaki’s crushing defeat and declaration of a rematch, Hajime decided it was best to head back. Tooru would need to eat lunch soon and the last thing he wanted was his mom blowing up his phone because she liked to work herself into a tizzy and he got sidetracked with Hanamaki and Matsukawa. Who were dating. _Had_ been dating. For a long time.

Tooru was staring up at him and Hajime met his eyes, sighing with a smile as they walked back.

“Don’t be an idiot like your dad, okay, kiddo?”

Tooru just blinked.

When he walked through the front door, it was just his mother and father inside with no sign of Oikawa Sayuri around. The smell of lunch being made was enough to make his mouth water. He pulled off Tooru’s jacket and beanie and headed for the kitchen. “Where’s Oikawa-san?”

“She decided to head back home,” Michiko said from the kitchen. She handed an onigiri to her husband for him to put on the plate that was lined with them. “She didn’t want to stay and upset Tooru-chan.”

Hajime nodded, and Tooru placed his head on his father’s shoulder, fingers scratching the fabric of Hajime’s shirt.

“I wonder what in the world got into him though,” Satoru mused. “He’s never acted like that before with anyone before, Hajime?”

Hajime shook his head. “Never. You saw how he was when he met you. He was nervous but not… scared, you know?”

Michiko’s gave a sympathetic smile. “Poor little guy was probably overstimulated. He’s in a completely different place than what he’s used to and there’s a lot of new faces.”

Was that it? Was that the reason? Because he was overwhelmed?

Hajime pat Tooru’s back.

Something deep within told him that wasn’t the case.

**

“Please tell me that Sawamura and Kuroo made it out alive,” Hajime said as soon as Suga’s face came up on his phone screen, his voice barely above a whisper. He made sure to keep the volume down on his phone.

Suga rolled his eyes. _“They’re perfectly fine.”_

“Should’ve made them sign the waiver.”

Suga reached over to turn off the bedside lamp and that left only his phone to light up his face. _“They knew the mission was dangerous when they took it. I am not responsible for any damages done to body or ego.”_

Hajime chuckled. “I still say they should’ve signed it.” 

_“How’s it going on your end?”_ Suga asked. _“I honestly wasn’t expecting you to FaceTime me since you’re out of town.”_

Hajime was lying in bed, the small lamp on the desk providing the only light in the room, as Tooru slept peacefully next to him and held onto his finger tightly. He watched Tooru’s face twitch into a smile, obviously in the midst of a pleasant dream.

“It’s going good,” Hajime murmured. “Had a hell of a day though.”

Suga raised an eyebrow. _“Care to elaborate on that?”_

“Well, I ran into Hanamaki and Matsukawa – that was nice. And I saw Oikawa’s mom today.”

_“How’d that go?”_

“It went fine,” Hajime said. “Until she held Tooru and he absolutely lost it.”

Suga’s eyes widened and he was sitting up. _“Wait, what? Tooru –”_

“Yeah,” Hajime said. “Screaming, crying – the whole works. He lost his shit, Kou.”

_“Why? He’s never done that. How was he with your parents?”_

“Great,” Hajime answered. “Took him a minute to get used to them but he was fine by the end of the evening. He even let them hold him.”

Suga made a small noise of surprise.

“But this… I’ve never seen him look so terrified before, Kou. It scared me.”

 _“He’s not sick, is he?”_ Suga ran a hand through his hair, a habit he formed when he was perplexed or deep in thought.

“I already did a run-down. He’s good. I just – I don’t know. I’m worried. My mom said it was probably because he was overwhelmed by a new place and new people.” 

_“That could be it. But it’s just the second night, Haji. I’d give it more time before worrying yourself sick.”_

Hajime nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

 _“I’m sure everything’s fine. Stranger anxiety is normal for babies his age,”_ Suga explained. _“I’d just keep a close eye on everything, okay? Note how he acts with everyone else compared to Oikawa’s mom before jumping to any conclusions. I can see those gears turning in your head, Iwaizumi Hajime.”_

Hajime nodded again. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I’m being stupid, I guess.”

Suga smiled. _“You’re not being stupid. You’re being a father.”_

Hajime chuckled. “Someone’s getting soft.”

_“Shut up or I’ll take it back.”_

“Okay, okay.” Hajime rubbed his eyes. “Thanks, Kou.”

Suga yawned. _“Get some sleep, okay?”_

“It doesn’t sound like I’m the one that needs sleep.”

_“Go to bed, Hajime.”_

“All right, all right. Goodnight, Koushi.”

They hung up and Hajime still couldn’t shake this feeling, even as he laid there in total darkness. Suga had told him that babies are very intuitive. Tooru was scared of Sayuri for a reason.

And he needed to find out why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you guys ever seen babies smile in their sleep? It's about the cutest thing ever.


	7. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga puts his old VCR to use.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy, all right guys -- this is probably one of the saddest chapters that will be in this fic.
> 
> I started this as soon as I finished the last chapter because I have two tests and I wanted to get this out to you guys ASAP before I buckled down to study. Thank you everyone for your continued support!
> 
> And just a warning: there are mentions of past abuse in this chapter. There are no graphic descriptions, just a slap, but I went ahead and put a warning out there anyway just in case.

Hajime lugged his suitcase into the trunk of his car and closed it. Tuesday had rolled around almost too quickly for the Iwaizumi family, and while his parents wished that he could stay longer, they knew Hajime had to go back to Tokyo. Hajime’s dad ruffled his hair. Though he’d finally hit 180 centimeter mark (he was actually 182.5 centimeters, something that made him happier than he’d care to admit), his dad still had a good bit of height on him.

“Don’t be a stranger, yeah?” his father smiled. “Keep your mother out of her knitting phase – for the sake of me and your sister both.”

His mother walked up with Tooru in her arms, looking at the baby but directing her sharp tone at her husband. “I heard that, Iwaizumi Satoru.”

Hajime clapped his father on the back. “Good luck, Dad.”

Tooru reached out upon seeing his father and smiled brightly.

Michiko giggled and pointed to Hajime. “Who’s that, Tooru-chan?”

“Dada!” Tooru squealed. 

Hajime smiled and took Tooru in his arms, putting on his bear beanie. “Ready to go home?”

“You be careful out there, Iwaizumi Hajime. It’s not just you you’re looking after anymore,” Michiko said, tears already in her eyes as she hugged him. “I’m going to miss you both so much. Try to come by whenever you can.” She placed her hand on his cheek. “You’ve grown so much, son.”

“Oh, Mom,” Hajime said, his eyes soft. “Don’t get all sappy on me, now.”

She sniffled. “I’m not. It’s just allergies.”

Hajime chuckled. “In November?”

She swatted his chest. “Would you just give me a hug already?”

Hajime relented and pulled his mother into a tight hug with his free arm. He would miss his parents terribly. He never got to see them much, even when he was in school. “I’ll miss you guys, too. I’ll try to come down as often as I can.” When she let him go, Hajime moved to put Tooru in his car seat but stopped short. 

Oikawa Sayuri approached them with a plate of rice balls in her hands and a smile on her face. 

“Sayuri-chan?” Michiko questioned. 

“I just wanted to give Hajime-kun something to eat for the road.” She showed the plate for emphasis. “It’s quite the drive from here to Tokyo and I figured he might get hungry.”

“Thank you, Oikawa-san,” Hajime said and was about to take the plate when he felt Tooru tense in his arms and clutch onto his shirt.

Sayuri smiled at Tooru. “Bye, Tooru-chan. Come back and see us, okay?”

**

Tooru stared at the woman with wide eyes.

She was back again. Why? Why was she here? She would hurt him, make him cry. She would get angry and yell at him and make him feel bad. Why wouldn’t she go away?

He wanted his daddy to make her go away.

 _Make her go away, Daddy!_ he begged, tiny heart thrumming in his chest, pumping fear through his veins. _Please!_

**  
Tooru immediately started trembling and whimpering, burying his face in Hajime’s neck, as it grew into quiet sobs. Hajime rubbed his back, whispering consoling words and sparing a glance at Sayuri who took a few steps away. There was definitely something going on. He had watched Tooru interact with everyone they’d come across, from his parents to Hanamaki and Matsukawa and even the random girls that approached when he was out, and Tooru didn’t act like this. 

It wasn’t because Tooru was overwhelmed.

Something about Sayuri set him on edge. Made him scared.

“It seems he doesn’t like me very much,” Sayuri said, giving another apologetic smile. “I’m sorry.”

Hajime didn’t say anything and instead chose to walk away to comfort his son and get him as far away from Sayuri as possible. He could feel his parents’ eyes on his back but he didn’t turn around.

“Don’t worry about it, Sayuri-chan,” his mother finally said. “He’s probably just tired. I’ll give these to Haji-chan, okay? Thank you so much.”

Hajime heard Sayuri give a soft farewell and waited until he heard her footsteps fade away completely before even looking over his shoulder to face his parents. Tooru was still sniveling, keeping his head down and curling in on himself as if to hide from the world.

“Dada…” he whined.

“It’s okay, Tooru. It’s okay,” Hajime said. “I’ve got you.”

Michiko walked over. “He really doesn’t like Sayuri-chan. I wonder why.”

“Who knows, Mom,” Hajime said.

She placed her hand on Tooru’s back, brow creased in worry. “He’s trembling so much.”

Hajime clenched his jaw.

He didn’t like where this was going.

**

They arrived back in Tokyo a little after one when Tooru had calmed down enough to sit through the four hour drive. He had slept most of the way and for that, Hajime was grateful. He was still half-asleep and ready to get out of his car seat, reaching for Hajime when the car door opened.

Hajime picked up his son, the diaper bag slung over his shoulder, and opted to get the suitcase out later because he was lazy and just wanted to relax on the couch with Tooru and do absolutely nothing. Maybe get lunch at some point. But for now, doing a whole lot of nothing was at the top of his to-do list.

“You ready for a whole day of doing nothing, kiddo?” Hajime unlocked the front door to his apartment after climbing the stairs. “Because I am.” He chuckled when Tooru put his head on his shoulder. “Glad we’re in agreement.”

Hajime opened the door and kicked off his shoes, thankful to be home, and spread himself out on the couch with Tooru on his chest. He sighed. The afternoon was surprisingly quiet for a Tuesday, a light breeze and not a cloud in the sky, and the hum of traffic outside the window was familiar and welcome. 

Tooru yawned, stretching a bit before finally settling, listening to the soft thunder of his father’s heartbeat that lulled him into a deep sleep.

Hajime smiled, placing his hand on Tooru’s back, and clicked on the TV. He flipped through some of the channels, just listening to city breathe around the little world he created – a world that centered on the baby sleeping on his chest – and finally settled on some sitcom that Suga had showed him some time ago. 

He had already seen this episode.

**

“…jime. Hajime.”

Something shook his shoulder.

“Hajime, wake up.”

He opened his eyes slowly, blinking to adjust them to the bright lights overhead, and focused on the face a few feet from his. “Koushi?” he rasped and cleared his throat. “What the hell?”

“Hey.” Suga smiled. “You didn’t answer so I went ahead and let myself in. I figured you’d be asleep.”

Hajime rubbed his eyes, still trying to get used to consciousness. “What time is it?”

“3:30,” Suga answered.

Shit, he was asleep for two hours? 

He looked at Tooru, who was still sleeping and was now tucked safely in between the crease of Hajime’s body and the couch, warm at his side. Hajime shifted a bit, doing his best not to wake Tooru, as he gently placed the baby back on the couch.

Hajime stretched a bit once standing. “You haven’t been waiting long, have you?” 

“Not really.” Suga shook his head then reconsideration danced across his face. “Well, long enough to take this.” He held out his phone and it showed a picture of Hajime and Tooru sleeping.

“Jeez, how many of those do you have?”

Suga grinned. “Enough to fill a photo album.” He put his phone in his pocket. “Combined with your pictures? Three photo albums.”

Hajime rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t deny that Suga was right. His phone was filled with pictures of Tooru, ranging from him sleeping to smiling to staring at the camera to just doing the mundane, a time lapse still in progress as his son grew every day. There were even selfies of Suga and Tooru that Hajime couldn’t bring himself to delete.

“Where’s Sawamura?” Hajime asked, going to the kitchen to prepare a bottle for Tooru. The baby hadn’t eaten since early that morning and would definitely be hungry when he woke up. “I figured he’d be with you.”

“That’s actually what I came to ask you about,” Suga said, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet as he followed Hajime. He hopped up on the counter as Hajime worked around him. “Would you like to come to lunch with us? Me and Daichi, I mean.” He ducked as Hajime opened the cupboard that stored Tooru’s bottles. “We’re thinking of trying this new tonkatsu place that Tetsurou recommended and –”

“Oh?” Hajime interjected as he measured the powdered formula. “He’s not Kuroo anymore? He’s been promoted to Tetsurou now?” He poured some water into the bottle and started to shake it. “Man, I don’t remember you calling me by my first name until years after we were already friends. I’m a little hurt.” He smirked. “Does he call you Koushi?”

“Shut up,” Suga gave a playful swat at his back, cheeks flushed pink. “That doesn’t matter. Do you wanna come or not?”

“Is _Tetsurou_ coming?”

This time Suga hit him and meant it.

Hajime clutched at his side, unable to contain his laugh. “Yeah, I’m coming. Just let me feed Tooru and then we can get going.” He moved back towards the living area.

“I told them that’s what you’d probably need to do so they’re gonna nab us a table,” Suga said.

“So he _is_ coming?” Hajime teased.

Suga grabbed the bottle from Hajime’s hands and sat on the couch next to Tooru just as he was waking up. “Hey there, little guy!”

Tooru squealed upon recognizing Suga and held out his arms to be picked up to which Suga happily obliged.

**

The restaurant was nice, a little busy since it was still relatively new, and Hajime and Suga slid through the crowd towards the table that Kuroo and Daichi had saved. Tooru looked around, hands fisted in Hajime’s shirt as usual, and just hid his face from the girls that smiled and waved at him.

“Yo, Koushi! Iwaizumi!” Kuroo waved to catch their attention. 

They were seated at a table in one of the less crowded parts of the restaurant, and Kuroo and Daichi had already claimed seats across from each other, which meant that either Hajime would be sitting next to Kuroo or Daichi, both of whom he hadn’t had much of a chance to interact with. He and Kuroo didn’t hang out much outside of the Cat-fé (the name never failed to make him cringe) unless Suga was there to bridge the conversations between them, and this was the first time he’d seen Daichi in six years.

Either way, it was going to be on the shy side of awkward.

He figured that Suga would want to sit by Daichi, so he made his way to the open seat next to Kuroo and – wait Suga was sitting there now. Shit. That meant that Hajime would have to sit next to Daichi. The Daichi who was scooting over to make extra room for Hajime to sit so it wouldn’t be crowded. The Daichi who was currently smiling at him. The same Daichi who kind of made his heart feel funny.

He could do this, right?

Hell yeah he could.

He was Iwaizumi Hajime. He could do anything he set his mind to.

Hajime took the empty seat, greeting Kuroo and Daichi. “Hey.”

“Long time, no see, Papa Bear.” Kuroo grinned. “Tooru’s grown bigger since I last saw him. How long has it been – a month? Maybe two? What in the world are you feeding the little guy?”

“Baby formula,” Hajime said.

“Kid’s growing like a weed,” Kuroo said.

When the waitress came by and took their orders (and probably scaring the poor girl when Suga tried ordering the spicy mapo tofu for all of them and Daichi and Kuroo scrambled across the table to cover his mouth with their hands), they had settled into an easy conversation. Well, Kuroo, Daichi, and Suga had. Hajime kind of just sat there and listened, and he had learned that Daichi was one of the top architects at a construction company over in Osaka and that Kuroo might’ve found a job there, too. They made sure to include him, of course they did, but Hajime could see the chemistry they had built up over the years, and he kind of felt like he was intruding on it. On the outside looking in. Especially now that he had Tooru.

But when Kuroo and Suga had gone off on bout of playful banter and throwing their straw wrappers at each other, Daichi turned to him. (Hajime swore that Kuroo brought out Suga’s more mischievous side, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.)

“So, how have you been these past six years, Iwaizumi-san?” he asked. “I know we didn’t get a chance to catch up much when we ran into each other at the grocery store.”

Hajime shrugged noncommittally. “Nothing really. Went to school for physiotherapy – which pales in comparison to architecture, I can tell you that – and raising this little guy right here. And you can drop the ‘san’.”

Daichi’s head tilted a bit. “Physiotherapy?”

“Physical therapy,” Hajime clarified.

“Oh. Duh.” A nervous laugh brushed past Daichi’s lips. “So what’s that like? I bet you get to meet a lot of new and interesting people.”

“Well, yours and Koushi’s former underclassman is one of my clients.”

“Let me guess,” Daichi said. “Hinata.”

“Bingo.”

Daichi sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment. “Should’ve known he’d end up getting himself hurt. Let me guess again. Shoulder?”

“You got it.” Hajime nodded as Tooru grabbed his hand.

“And he’s not resting.”

“Nope.”

“He’s gonna ruin a lot more than his shoulder if he keeps that up.” Daichi sipped at his water, watching Suga and Kuroo go back and forth at each other. An amused smile played at his lips.

“Trust me, I already scolded him,” Hajime said.

Daichi nodded. “Good. Someone has to keep him in line.”

“Kageyama’s been taking care of that when he’s not at my office for a session,” Hajime said.

“I hope they’ve gotten together by now.” Daichi rested his head on his palm. “They’ve been pining after each other since they were first years in high school, and I can only assume it’s gotten worse.”

Hajime didn’t respond to that. Daichi didn’t need to know that he hadn’t caught on to something that was so blatantly obvious to everyone else. He’d already suffered enough embarrassment at the hands of Hanamaki and Matsukawa. No, Daichi didn’t need to know.

It seemed that then Tooru decided that staring at Daichi was a lot more interesting than the surrounding people in the restaurant, and it was one of those stares that made Hajime question if his son was really only four months old. He could see Tooru reading Daichi, gears turning in his head, trying to decide if this man seated next to his father was friend or foe.

Daichi met Tooru’s gaze and simply smiled. “Hi.”

Tooru blinked at him, keeping his head against Hajime’s chest.

“How old is he?” Daichi asked.

“Four months,” Hajime answered.

Daichi chuckled. “Is there a reason why I feel like your four-month-old son is judging me?”

“He does that with everyone.” Hajime smiled, placing his hand on Tooru’s head. “Don’t take it personally.”

Daichi seemed to be contemplating something, as he looked at Tooru and then Hajime and then back to Tooru again. He hummed in thought. “He looks like you, you know.”

Hajime paused, his fingertips brushing his glass of water as he went to pick it up. “Huh?”

“Tooru,” Daichi said. “He looks like you.” Daichi held out his hand in front of Tooru and smiled when the baby grabbed it. “He has your eyes.”

Those words kept repeating in Hajime’s head over and over again. Tooru looked like him? Tooru had his eyes? But how? Hajime was at a loss here, staring at Daichi with nothing more than incredulity. “What do you mean?”

“They might not be the same color,” Daichi continued, “but he’s got the exact same intensity as you do. You may have adopted him, but he’s definitely your son.” Daichi tacked on a smile at the end.

Tooru let go of Daichi’s hand and looked up at him – his entire world looked up him – and grinned. “Dada,” he babbled.

Hajime stroked Tooru’s hair and smiled. “Hey.”

“Hajime,” Suga said, tearing the man from his train of thought. He grinned. “Make sure your calendar is clear for next weekend.”

Hajime raised an eyebrow, eyeing the straw wrapper caught in Suga’s silvery strands of hair. “Why?”

“Because all four of us are going out – duh,” Kuroo said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And it’s the weekend that Sawamura goes home, so naturally he _can’t_ go back to Osaka without experiencing Tokyo nightlife!”

Daichi rolled his eyes. “If you’re trying to get me drunk –”

“Wasted,” Suga said.

“Shitfaced,” Kuroo added.

“It’s not going to happen,” Daichi continued.

“And I have to take care of Tooru, so I’m afraid I’ll have to back out of this one,” Hajime said.

“Don’t worry, Haji.” Suga finally plucked the straw wrapper from his hair and tossed it at a snickering Kuroo. “Bokuto and Akaashi have already agreed to babysit.”

Hajime looked at Tooru in his arms. Leaving Tooru for almost a whole night to go out and have a few drinks? Well, he hadn’t gone out since he’d adopted Tooru, and while the thought was tempting, he really felt like he should be at home with his son.

That’s what a good father does, right?

“Hey.” Suga’s eyes were firm, reassuring. “It’ll be okay. You know he’ll be in great hands. Bokuto and Akaashi wouldn’t let anything happen to Tooru.” He smiled. “The worst thing Bokuto could do is spoil him rotten.”

Hajime nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

“I’ll take that over a flat out ‘no’,” Kuroo said.

In the meantime, however, Hajime decided to enjoy the food that was now being served, feeling lighter than before. Like the window he was looking through was opening. Letting the air in.

Yeah.

He could get used to this.

**

Where was he? It was dark. 

It was so very, very dark. Cold. _Lonely._ Even though he was wrapped in a blanket. He was bigger, too. Moving in a body that was much taller than he was used to, seeing with eyes that weren’t exactly his. Where was he?

And he hurt. He hurt all over. His arms, his legs, his face – everything _hurt!_ Why wouldn’t it stop hurting? He cried and cried but it wouldn’t go away. It wouldn’t stop. He was afraid, and cold, and lonely. Where was his daddy? He wanted his daddy to come get him. His daddy always came when he cried!

Maybe if he cried louder –

Then there was the pain again, sharp and burning, this time on his hands. And there was yelling. So much _yelling._ The voice was angry at him, angry at something that he did. What did he do? He didn’t do anything wrong!

The woman with the brown eyes was staring at him.

And Tooru screamed.

**

Hajime was startled into consciousness by a loud cry and he scrambled to find the switch to turn the bedside lamp on, immediately looking around the now dimly lit room for any sort of intruder, adrenaline barreling through him. _What the hell?_ He didn’t have much time to elaborate further on his thought as his attention was now on the baby currently flailing next to him, wailing – _shrieking_ – on the bed as tears surged down his round cheeks.

He didn’t hesitate in picking Tooru up and holding him close, but the baby was still thrashing and screaming and _oh God what was going on?_ What was happening? He sounded like he was in so much _pain._ He moved like he was fighting something – _someone_ – off.

“Shh, Tooru – it’s okay,” Hajime tried to keep his voice levelled as he fought to keep the baby from wriggling right out of his arms. He carded his fingers through Tooru’s wild strands at the back of his head. “Tooru. Tooru, it’s okay. I’m here.”

**

He knew that voice…

He knew that voice!

It was his daddy! He came for him!

The mean woman couldn’t touch him now. She couldn’t hurt him. The pain would go away. It would be okay. He was safe.

As long as his daddy was here, he would be fine.

Everything would be okay.

**

Tooru finally started to settle against Hajime’s chest, wails undulating into whimpers, as he took quick, short breaths, trying to collect himself as he breathed in the known scent of his father. He listened to the heartbeat he had come to know so well, allowing it to anchor him into this reality.

Hajime relaxed as slowly as Tooru did, tension dripping from his muscles. 

“Dada…” Tooru hiccupped, curling into his father. “Dada…”

Hajime continued threading his fingers through Tooru’s hair. “I’m here, Tooru. I’m here.” 

And it took some time, but Tooru eased back into slumber, breaths calm and even. Hajime leaned back, his head colliding with the headboard a lot harder than he meant it to, and attempted to not let his heart drop to his stomach.

“What the fuck?” he whispered.

**

Tooru was fine the next morning, laughing and smiling like normal when Hajime played with him. He had called into work, worried that Tooru might be sick, and asked if Futakuchi would help Hinata out like he had before. He didn’t mind the hell that the man gave him. He knew Futakuchi take care of everything. 

Hajime would be lying if he said what happened last night didn’t scare the absolute shit out of him. He figured it had been a nightmare, something easily casted away when dawn broke the next day, but Hajime could feel that it was something so much more than that. Deeper. Darker.

And he hated that Tooru was the one being plagued by it.

Hajime didn’t call Suga in the event that this was just a little stomach bug, and every fiber in his being told him it _wasn't_ , but the man practically forced an explanation out of him when he found out Hajime wasn’t at work.

_“Koushi, it really isn’t necessary. I’m keeping an eye on him,” Hajime reasoned._

_“Hush, I’m coming over,” Suga said. “I want to see for myself.”_

Cue Suga and Daichi now walking through his front door that afternoon just as Hajime had put a sleepy Tooru in his playpen.

“Pardon the intrusion,” Daichi said.

“I hope you don’t mind that I brought Daichi along.” Suga slipped off his shoes and placed them next to Hajime’s, wasting no time in hurrying to Hajime’s side.

Hajime shook his head, turning his attention back to Tooru. “Not at all.”

“How’s he doing?” Suga asked.

“He seems fine,” Hajime said and walked towards the kitchen to get Tooru’s bottle ready. “Ate breakfast, played for a bit – just like normal.”

Suga raked his hand through his hair.

Daichi took his place at Suga’s flank. “What do you think it is?”

“That’s the thing, I don’t know,” Suga said, frustration seeping into his tone. He lifted Tooru into his arms. “He looks as healthy as can be.”

Tooru’s eyes fluttered open upon hearing a new voice, focusing in on Suga’s face for a moment, before tossing in Suga’s arms and wailing. Suga struggled to keep a firm hold on him until Hajime came over, and looked just as confused as Hajime and Daichi did when Tooru relaxed in Hajime’s arms.

Hajime didn’t understand. Tooru loved Suga. _Adored_ him, even. 

Now Tooru was reacting to Suga like he did with Sayuri.

**

This went on for three more days, with Tooru waking up in the middle of the night screaming and refusing to let anyone but Hajime near him. Yachi had to call Hajime at work because Tooru wouldn’t let her get too close. The poor girl was scared out of her wits as she explained everything to him, and Hajime just didn’t know what to do. He searched for answers online, sometimes staying up all night doing so, and arriving at only dead ends. He knew Suga was also up late trying to figure this out, asking Kai and many other doctors to see if they could give him some sort of lead. 

By the end of the third day, they were both at their wits end.

Hajime laid there in the dark, having just calmed Tooru from his most recent fit, and heard sleep beckoning him but he couldn’t bring himself to heed her call. What if Tooru woke up again? Terrified and clinging to Hajime like he was a lifeline?

He felt tears sting the corners of his eyes. He just wanted Tooru to be okay.

He wanted _his son_ to be okay.

As the minutes droned on, Hajime felt himself slip just to the edges of unconsciousness, until he heard his front door creak open. He sat up. The only person who had a key to his apartment was Suga, and Suga had an early shift at the hospital so there was no way he’d be here right now at this hour. Which meant that whoever was here _had no business_ being here.

Hajime slid out of bed, traversing his room in the dark, and opened his bedroom door.

“Hajime,” Suga said, obviously out of breath, his face only lit up from the light now coming from the living area.

“Koushi?” Hajime blinked a few times. “What the hell? Do you have any idea what time it is?”

Suga grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the other room. “H-Hajime, I’m sorry but you have to see this – please.” He kept pulling when Hajime wasn’t moving fast enough. “Please!”

“What’s the matter?” Hajime followed Suga to the living room, very disconcerted by Suga’s upset. He hadn’t seen Suga this shaken in a while, and if he was here at Hajime’s apartment in the middle of the night, something was seriously going on. 

“It’s about Tooru.” Suga ran to a box that was sitting in front of the TV. That wasn’t there before. _“Oikawa_ Tooru. Please – just – come see!”

When his best friend’s name left Suga’s lips, Hajime found himself moving a lot quicker. He watched Suga hook up a VCR to his TV and pulled out a video tape from the box and put it in. The screen was static for a bit before it cleared and Oikawa’s face was on the screen, blurring in and out of focus as he adjusted the camera. Oikawa was clearly in his room, the alien posters taped to the walls giving it away.

Hajime felt his heart stop. There was his best friend – alive and well. With air in his lungs and a flush to his cheeks and just so _alive._ He was still in his Aoba Jousai jacket and sweats and there was a thin sheen of sweat glistening along his hair line. But the look in Oikawa’s usually bright eyes made Hajime’s blood run cold.

“Koushi, what –”

“Just watch.” Suga didn’t move from his spot on the floor.

_Oikawa moved away from the camera and went to sit on his bed, rubbing his hands together (Hajime recognized that nervous tick anywhere), and looked up at the sound of his bedroom door opening. Oikawa Sayuri approached him, stopping just a few feet shy of her son, and there was nothing being said for a while._

_She finally spoke up. “What the hell happened out there today?”_

_Oikawa didn’t say anything and instead just stared at the floor._

_Sayuri drew her hand back and cut it across the air, meeting Oikawa’s cheek. “Answer me!”_

Hajime froze.

_“…’m sorry,” Oikawa muttered, his head now turned to the side._

_“Apologies don’t win games, do they?!” Sayuri screeched, hands on her hips. “How could you lose to those flightless crows?! You worked your ass off and for what? To lose to a team that couldn’t barely make it into the semi-finals last year?” She continued, words cutting like knives, digging into deeper wounds. “Don’t you love volleyball?! I thought this was your passion! What happened to beating Shiratorizawa?”_

_Oikawa was quiet for a moment. “…it is.”_

_“It obviously isn’t if you’re losing to a washout school like Karasuno! Keep this up and you will never make the national team! And if you don’t make the national team, you will never amount to anything!” She left the room and slammed the door._

_Oikawa stood up after he was sure she was gone, the red hand mark prominent on his cheek, and turned the camera off._

“Oh my God…” Hajime finally muttered.

Suga was crying again, his words shattered by his tears. “That’s not all of it.” He sobbed. “This went on for years, Hajime – _years!_ There are tapes from when he was as young as ten!”

Hajime turned away from the television, from the box containing more of those dreaded video tapes. “I don’t need to see them.” He was going to be _sick._

He was starting to see Oikawa’s hard work in a whole new and sinister light.

He knew Oikawa loved volleyball and was naturally competitive. He wanted to be good at it, the greatest volleyball player that ever walked onto the court. His best friend had worked hard to the point of injuring himself. But was that Oikawa that made himself stay late to practice jump serves? Or was his _mother_ pushing him to be the very best? Because he was afraid of losing to Kageyama? Because he was afraid of letting her down? Because he was _afraid_ of getting hurt?

She had latched onto what Oikawa loved most and twisted it, defiled it.

Tooru’s cries echoed from the bedroom, and Hajime hurried to get him, still comforting the baby as he made his way back to the living area. 

“Where did you find this?” he asked, fighting back the tears in his eyes and holding a now quiet Tooru.

Suga wiped his face and got to his feet. “In our closet at home. I was cleaning Tooru’s side of the closet – you know, thinking that I could finally put some of his things away – and it was underneath all these other boxes.”

“And it was just the tapes? In the box?”

Suga shook his head. “There was a letter.”

“What did it say?”

Suga reached into his pocket and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper, handing it over.

Hajime took a shaky breath, unfolding it with his free hand, and ran his eyes over the handwriting he had come to know so well from the countless birthday invitations, postcards, and doodles tucked in the corners of Hajime’s notebooks. He could hear Oikawa’s voice in his head as he read, nothing but serious tones and devoid of any of the playful lilts his words usually carried.

_**To whom it may concern:** _

_**If you’ve found this, then that means something has happened to me and I didn’t have enough courage to turn these in.** _

_**And as I’m writing this, as I watch this stack of tapes grow, I wonder if I ever will work up the nerve and show someone what’s been happening behind closed doors for the last ten years of my life.** _

Hajime’s grip tightened.

_**I love volleyball.** _

_**It’s been my passion from the moment I saw the national team play on TV as a kid. I wanted to be just like them. I wanted to stand on that court with my head held high and my teammates beside me. I wanted to feel the hum of the fluorescent lights, hear shoe soles squeak along the floor, see a spike blow past the opponent’s defenses. It was my dream. And a dream I saw worth chasing.** _

_**But as time went on, and my mother realized that my hobby was more of a lifeline, she saw a way to still achieve the dream that was taken away from her when I was born. Her dream, like me, was to become a player on a national team.** _

_**And so my passion began to feel more like a job.** _

_**Every missed set, every missed serve would earn me a swat on the hands with a ruler until they were red and swollen and I could no longer feel my fingers.** _

Hajime bit his lip as he continued reading Oikawa’s letter, shoulders shaking with unshed tears, until he reached the end of the page.

_**And Iwa-chan, if you’re the one who finds this – and I pray to every god that you aren’t – please don’t blame yourself.** _

He felt himself crumbling.

_**I know how you are. You’ll read this and think about what you could’ve done differently and wish you had paid attention a little more. But you didn’t find out because I didn’t want you to find out. You knew that most of my smiles and flamboyance were just a ruse and I was okay with you knowing that. I just didn’t want you to know why they weren’t real.** _

_**Ever since we met, you were always worrying about me. You cared, even if you showed that you did through punches and kicks instead of words. And I’m sure that after you’ve watched these tapes and read this, you’ll wish you hadn’t been so brash.** _

_**But know this, Iwa-chan: I don’t regret anything.** _

_**There is not a single moment in our friendship that I regret. You were one of the best things that ever happened to me. You kept me grounded on both the court and in life. You kept me sane. You helped me learn that I wasn’t alone in anything – that the team with the better six is stronger, that someone who can’t see the opponent standing right in front of him can’t defeat the opponent that lies beyond.** _

_**You taught me all of these things, Iwa-chan.** _

_**And for that I will be eternally grateful.** _


	8. Cross My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blame it on the alcohol.

Oikawa Sayuri did not get away with it.

They made sure of that.

Hajime and Suga turned the video tapes in to the authorities first thing in the morning, worried about Oikawa’s young nephew, Takeru, since he usually stayed over at his grandmother’s house after volleyball practice. Oikawa’s older brother didn’t believe it until he saw the tapes and heard his son’s testimony that his grandmother would get very mad at him if he missed a serve and would swat his hands until he got it right.

When asked why he didn’t tell anyone, Takeru said he was afraid that he’d get yelled at and he didn’t want his grandmother to get in trouble because he loved her. And Hajime would mark that day as the first time he’d seen Oikawa’s older brother break down. He had stayed strong at his brother’s and father’s funeral, but upon hearing how his son was starting to hate volleyball because of his grandmother, he couldn’t hold back anymore.

It didn’t take very long for a decision to be made – a little less than a month – just as a fresh blanket of snow announced the oncoming winter. Oikawa Sayuri would be held accountable to the fullest extent of the law, and little Takeru (well, maybe not little he was almost as tall as Suga now) hugged Hajime and Suga both, thanking them.

They were currently at Suga’s apartment, sitting at the table and drinking hot tea to combat the cold outside. Hajime and Suga had learned that Oikawa’s brother was going through a really rough patch with his wife so there was no one to take Takeru to and from school and volleyball practice except for one person: Sayuri.

“I can’t believe I didn’t notice anything while we were growing up. I knew she was hard on him, but to this extent?” Oikawa’s older brother lamented, staring into his tea. “I’m his older brother. I was supposed to protect him – didn’t think it’d have to be from our own mother.”

“I don’t think anyone expected it,” Hajime said as he watched Takeru play with Tooru on the floor. He smiled when loud laughter bubbled past Tooru’s lips as Takeru played peek-a-boo with him. “I’m at fault, too. I should’ve been paying more attention.”

“Hajime, Oikawa-san,” Suga cut in, sitting down in one of the empty seats, “the last thing Tooru would want is for you to blame yourselves. He said it himself. He didn’t want anyone to know, and that included you two.” He sipped his tea. “The important thing is that we _did something_ instead of letting this continue. And I know for a fact that if Tooru was here, he would’ve come forward with the tapes if he saw that Takeru was being affected by it, too.”

Oikawa’s brother sighed. “You’re right. Thank you – the both of you. I know that my little brother can rest easier knowing that something has been done.” He directed his attention to the two boys on the floor. “Man, it’s been a while since I’ve seen him smile that much.”

Hajime could say the same for his own son. Tooru had been sleeping so much better at night since the verdict had been reached, and his eyes were a little brighter at the dawn of each day. He happily held out his arms to Suga when he saw the silver haired man and smiled when Yachi came by to ask how things were going.

Tooru was so much happier.

And it seemed like the sun was shining more and more.

Oikawa’s brother and Takeru headed back to Miyagi that evening with promises that they’ll come by and visit when school let out for summer break.

And Hajime went home that night feeling better too.

Of course, Kuroo and Daichi had heard about what was going on thanks to the newspapers and asked a ton of questions, but Suga and Hajime had kept it firmly under wraps as they had asked for anonymity when it came to revealing who disclosed the evidence. They feigned ignorance about the matter, and Daichi and Kuroo didn’t pry further. 

Needless to say, their plans to go out that one weekend didn’t work out – Suga wasn’t in the mood and there was no way in hell that Hajime was leaving Tooru with Bokuto and Akaashi when the baby still had those horrible nightmares – but they promised that they’d take a rain check. Daichi said that he’d come back in about two weeks to make up for it.

And that Friday came a lot faster than Hajime anticipated. 

As he sat there on the floor watching Tooru reach for a toy and pull it towards him, he wondered if Tooru would be okay spending the evening with Bokuto and Akaashi. They had never really been apart before, besides when Hajime went to work, and he was worried that Tooru wouldn’t take it very well. That he’d wake up and cry upon seeing Akaashi or Bokuto instead of his father.

Although, Tooru _was_ getting better at staying with Yachi during the day. He didn’t cry as much.

Hajime sighed. Maybe he should stay home after all.

His phone vibrated. A message from Suga.

_**Daichi’s train is pulling in soon. Are you still on for tonight?** _

Hajime’s fingers hovered over the keyboard when another message from Suga came through.

_**If you’re worried, don’t be. Tooru will be fine, I promise. Akaashi knows how to keep Bokuto from spoiling the little guy too much. And it’s okay to go out every once in a while, Hajime. Now I know that’s easier said than done because you’re a father and I’m not. You’re there for Tooru every single day and he knows that. You’re an amazing dad, Hajime. Going out for one night while isn’t going to change that.** _

Hajime looked at Tooru, who was currently trying to reach another toy that was a little further out of his reach, and typed out his answer.

_**All right fine. I’m in.** _

Suga’s response was immediate.

_**Awesome! Wear something decent, okay?** _

Hajime typed.

_**Yeah, yeah. And I am not getting drunk, all right? I’ll leave that to you three.** _

Suga’s reply wasn’t as quick this time.

_**Party pooper** _

Hajime stared at the message for a moment. Was that a _cat emoji_ at the end? Of course it’d be Kuroo. Who else would Suga be with?

He opted to lay down on the floor than answer. “Tooru?”

The infant turned to Hajime.

**

There it was again.

That sound. That sound that people used when they were talking to him and him alone. 

Tooru.

Such an interesting and oddly familiar sound. He liked it.

He listened intently as his father said words that he couldn’t understand yet, but when his daddy smiled, Tooru smiled, too. He knew what that meant. That meant his daddy was happy, and Tooru couldn’t help but feel happy, too. 

He didn’t see the bad woman in his dreams anymore. She had gone away and Tooru didn’t hurt anymore. His daddy had made her go away, protected him, and he wasn’t afraid anymore. He wasn’t lonely or sad. He didn’t have to cry. He was safe.

“Tooru,” his father said again.

He grinned.

That was his name. _He_ was Tooru.

And he loved that.

**

Bokuto and Akaashi arrived around 8:00. Admittedly, Hajime was still a little uneasy about leaving Tooru for almost an entire night, but he trusted Bokuto and Akaashi to the utmost to take care of his son. He offered to take Tooru over to their place, but Akaashi said that it’d be easier on Tooru if he stayed somewhere he was familiar with and they didn’t mind driving.

“Hello, Iwaizumi-san,” Akaashi said.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto grinned. “Where’s my favorite nephew?”

“Hey, guys.” Hajime scooted out of the doorway to allow them in. “He’s playing on the floor.”

”Koutarou, please calm down,” Akaashi said.

“I am calm, Keiji,” Bokuto bounced over to Tooru. “Hey, little man!”

Tooru blinked for a moment, clearly trying to place where he’d seen Bokuto’s face, but then he grinned and reached out upon recognizing him, and Bokuto happily took him in his arms and started spinning him around, and Tooru laughed loudly and clung to Bokuto tightly.

Hajime chuckled. “Why do I feel like I’ve been replaced?”

“Because Uncle Bokuto is the best, isn’t that right, Tooru?” Bokuto tickled Tooru’s sides, grinning when the baby giggled. “We’re gonna have a blast.”

Hajime watched them for a moment, still wondering if this was a good idea. It wasn’t too late to stay home for the rest of the night. Then again, Bokuto and Akaashi came all this way. He was just worried that Tooru would wake up crying and be too much for Bokuto and Akaashi to handle and –

Akaashi looked at Hajime, his eyes soft and reassuring. “He’ll be fine. We’ll take good care of him, Iwaizumi-san.”

“I really appreciate you two doing this. You didn’t have to,” Hajime said.

“It’s honestly not a problem. We adore him,” Akaashi said. “Don’t worry and go have fun.”

Hajime ran his hand through his hair. “A lot easier said than done. But I’ll try.” He grabbed his coat. “He’s already eaten so he’ll be fine for the rest of the night. He’ll get sleepy in about an hour and then crash out around 9:30. If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to call me.”

Akaashi nodded. “Of course.”

Hajime walked over to Tooru, who was still in Bokuto’s arms. “Tooru?”

The baby gave him his full attention.

He brushed some of Tooru’s hair from his face. “I’ll be back soon, okay? Be good.” He kissed Tooru’s head softly. “Love you.”

Tooru tilted his head as he watched Hajime walk to the door. “Dada?”

Hajime slipped on his shoes. “Thanks again, you guys.”

“Not a problem,” Akaashi noded.

“Tell Kuroo to drink five for me!” Bokuto waved. “Careful though: he gets touchy when he’s drunk.”

Hajime chuckled. “I’ll be sure to relay the message.” He placed his hand on the doorknob. “You guys got it from here?”

“We got this – don’t worry!” Bokuto said. “Get out of here, Papa Bear.”

Hajime rolled his eyes. He can’t believe Suga’s nickname for him stuck. Actually, no. He can believe that. It was Sugawara Koushi he was talking about. But he was out the door before he could change his mind and shrugged on his coat.

They were all supposed to meet outside the Cat-fé (Hajime cringed) since that was the easiest place to head wherever the hell Suga and Kuroo had planned. He and Daichi were kind of thrown into this whole thing, so if anything happened, it definitely wasn’t their fault.

Hajime fidgeted outside the closed café, a sharp chill running down his spine from the cold, and burrowed his face further into his scarf. The tips of his ears and cheeks were flushed red, and tendrils of breath clouded past his lips. _Fuck,_ it was cold. Where the hell was Suga? Any other day he’d be right on the dot –

“Hey, Hajime!”

He looked down the sidewalk, and Suga was waving at him with Kuroo and Daichi in tow, and Hajime _totally_ wasn’t paying extra attention to the way Daichi’s jacket hugged his shoulders or how absolutely adorable he looked with cold brushed across his cheeks. Nope. Not at all. He saw nothing.

Suga smiled. “You weren’t waiting long, were you?”

“An eternity by your standards,” Hajime teased and earned a soft jab in the arm.

Kuroo slung his arm around Hajime’s shoulders and grinned. “Glad you could join us, Iwaizumi! How’d Tooru stay with Bo and Akaashi?

“He was fine,” Hajime said. “Oh, and speaking of Bokuto, he said to drink five for him.”

Kuroo scoffed, holding his head high. “Fuck that, I’ll drink six.”

“Please don’t end up passed out on my floor again,” Suga said.

Kuroo spun on his heel to face the other man. “That was one time, Kou! _One_ time!”

“One time was all I needed.”

Daichi raised an eyebrow but the amusement was clear on his face. “What happened?”

Kuroo rubbed his face with both hands, obviously mortified at the memory. “Koushi took it upon himself to draw whiskers on my face when I crashed at his place after hanging out with Taketora and the others.”

“I still have a picture!” Suga was already scrolling through his phone. “Wanna see?”

“Hell yeah,” Daichi and Hajime grinned, looking over each of Suga’s shoulders.

Kuroo started, “Kou, do _not_ show them –”

“Look!” Suga grinned and burst into peals of laughter with Daichi and Hajime while Kuroo huffed in embarrassment.

It was definitely an interesting picture. There were long and dark whisker marks drawn on a sleeping Kuroo’s face as he was sprawled out on the floor, three on each cheek, and the tip of his nose was scribbled in black. There was even a bit of drool trailing from the corner of his mouth.

“All right, all right – can we go now?” Kuroo asked, cheeks red, and Hajime was sure it wasn’t from the cold. “I’m freezing my ass off out here.”

Suga’s laugh petered into small chuckles and he put his phone away. “Okay, okay.”

They didn’t have to walk very far, a little less than two blocks, and arrived at what looked like more of a club than an actual bar like what Hajime was expecting. He could feel the bass vibrating in his bones from across the street and there were crowds of people going inside, and some looked to be college kids that were ready to cut loose during the winter break.

“Is this where we’re going?” Daichi asked, skeptical.

“Sure is!” Kuroo grinned.

“I’d rather skip out on the dancing if it’s all the same to you,” Hajime said. He might as well have two left feet when it came to finding a rhythm.

“That’s fine,” Suga beamed. “We’re just here to have fun!”

**

While going out to a club wasn’t at the top of Hajime’s list of things to do on the weekend, a movie at a theater was more his speed, he had to admit that he was having a pretty good time. He sat at the bar, a glass of whiskey at his fingertips that left him feeling pleasantly warm despite the rush of cold coming in from the outside. He had already decided before he got here that he wasn’t going to get drunk (he was embarrassingly clingy when he had the right amount of alcohol in him, not to mention that he had a five-month old son at home that was counting on him), but a nice buzz was something he could get on board with.

Dacihi was next to him, having stripped his jacket, and the blue long-sleeved shirt he was wearing accentuated his arms nicely. Didn’t help that he had _rolled up those sleeves._ There was a bead of sweat that trailed down Daichi’s jawline from the collective heat of the dancing bodies in the room, he smiled – and Hajime mentally smacked himself.

He was _not_ checking Sawamura Daichi out.

He was not checking _Sawamura Daichi_ out.

No. No he was not.

He was not paying attention to the way the colorful strobe lights lit up the darker hues of Daichi’s eyes. Or how he’d much rather listen to the music of Daichi laughing at Kuroo and Suga rather than the music blasting through the speakers.

Nope. Not _at all._

Kuroo and Suga came back from the dance floor after the song ended, Kuroo taking a swig of his beer and Suga took a sip of Daichi’s, having downed his own beverage beforehand.

Daichi grabbed the bottle from Suga with a laugh. “Get your own!”

Suga smirked. His cheeks were pink but his eyes were still as sharp as ever, even with the alcoholic haze settled over them. “So Haji, Daichi here was wondering – _has been_ wondering, actually, if you have anyone special in your life.”

Hajime almost dropped his glass, watching Daichi and Suga with widened eyes.

Daichi was right in the middle of drinking his beer and would’ve sprayed it all over the place if he had less self-control and turned about 50 different shades of red. “Suga!”

“What? I’m trying to be a good wingman. I’m asking since you don’t have the balls to do it.” Suga said.

Daichi would’ve turned darker if that was even possible. _“Suga!”_

Kuroo put his beer back down on the bar and cackled. “Get wrecked!”

Daichi glared. “You’re not helping, Kuroo.”

“Blame it on the alcohol.” Kuroo grinned.

More music started booming through the speakers, an American song this time, and Suga’s expression brightened. “I love this song!” he exclaimed. “Haji, Daichi – you sure you don’t wanna dance?”

“I’m sure,” they said in unison.

Suga shrugged. “Your loss.” He grabbed Kuroo’s hand and pulled him to the dance floor. “Come on, Tetsu!” And then they were lost in the crowd.

That left Hajime alone with Daichi.

Shit.

“Well, that was embarrassing.” Daichi looked at Hajime, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry about that. Suga’s filter is… nonexistent when he’s drinking.”

Hajime shook his head and finished the rest of the whiskey in his glass. “It’s uh –” he cleared his throat, “it’s fine.” He traced the rim of his glass with his forefinger. “But to, uh, answer your question: no, there’s no one right now.”

Daichi spared a glance at him. “Really?”

Hajime nodded, staring at the leftover ice in his glass, unable to meet Daichi’s eyes. He suddenly felt very hot, and he knew it wasn’t because of the alcohol, but he was sure it played a huge part. “Why do you ask?”

Daichi coughed. “U-Um, well, since you had Tooru, I figured that you had settled down with someone already. Started a family and all that.”

Hajime looked at Daichi for a couple of seconds. “It’s just me and Tooru. So. Um. Yeah.” Crap, this conversation was getting awkward really fast and what was he supposed to _do,_ what was he supposed to _say?_ Nothing had ever prepared him for this and – oh.

Daichi was looking at him. And Hajime forgot what it meant to breathe. 

Their eyes met, probably lingered longer than any sober person would be comfortable with, the music beating wildly between them, in time with Hajime’s own heart, and he felt something pulling him towards the other man. Something that made him pay attention to the way Daichi’s eyes looked almost abysmal, to the dark flush brushed on his cheeks, how his pink lips were slightly parted, and the way his tongue darted out to wet them. 

_Fuck_ – he really, _really_ wanted to kiss Daichi right now.

Liquid courage pulsing through him, Hajime leaned in slowly, meeting Daichi’s half-lidded eyes again for any protest. When he was met with none, Hajime moved to close the distance between them. He could feel Daichi’s warm breath on his lips, and _holy shit_ he was really doing this –

Kuroo crashed into their backs, reaching in between them to grab his beer. He grinned. “Shit – sorry guys! I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?”

Daichi looked away, his face a deep red, and this was the first time that Hajime ever wanted to throttle Kuroo.

They didn’t stay too much longer, after Daichi and Kuroo had downed two more shots, and caught two separate cabs home. Kuroo and Suga rode one together, since Kuroo was nearly impossible to negotiate with when under the influence (“I want to ride with Kou-kun!” he had drawled, leaning on Suga, his pupils so blown that the amber hue in his eyes was nearly gone), and Suga said that Kuroo might as well crash at his place too given that his was closer and the last thing he needed was Kuroo hurting himself.

“Shouldn’t have had those six drinks for Bokuto,” Hajime said.

Suga laughed. “Definitely not.” 

With three beers and two shots running through him, Daichi also took it upon himself to lean against Hajime, a sway in his stance and a lopsided grin on his face.

Suga snickered. “You got him?”

Hajime put his arm around Daichi to support him when the latter had leaned too far to the right. “Yeah, I got him. He’ll be fine.”

“Don’t do anything too crazy, kids.” The smirk on Suga’s face only widened when Hajime was rendered to a spluttering, flustered mess.

Hajime’s eyes narrowed, nodding towards Kuroo. “I could say the same to you two.” 

“Nah, he’ll just pass out on the couch and that means I can draw on his face again,” Suga grinned, mischief in his tone. He looked at Daichi again. “Daichi, you ready to go home?”

“No, I wanna stay,” Daichi mumbled against Hajime’s shoulder.

Suga leaned on the car door, clearly amused. “Daichi, we have to take Tetsurou home.”

“Go by yourself,” Daichi grumbled in a drunken slur and it was amazing Hajime and Suga were able to make out what he was saying. “I wanna stay with Iwa.”

“My God, he’s as stubborn as Tetsurou.” Suga rolled his eyes. “Freakin’ lightweight.”

“Don’t worry about it, Kou,” Hajime said. “He can stay at my place. It’s not a problem.”

“You sure?”

Hajime nodded.

Suga was about to climb in the car next to a now sleeping Kuroo when he paused. “Just don’t have sex in front of Tooru, all right? Try not to traumatize my darling nephew before he can talk.”

Hajime scowled. “Go home!”

Suga winked and got in the cab. They were off and Hajime looked down the street, hoping to flag down another one when it came by while still trying to keep Daichi on his feet. Luckily, they didn’t have to wait long and were on the way back to Hajime’s apartment and out of this godforsaken weather.

“Iwa?”

Hajime angled his head to try and look at the other, which was kind of hard because Daichi was hiding his face in the crook of Hajime’s neck, but he tried to make it work. “Yeah?”

“I’m glad you’re not with anyone,” Daichi whispered.

Hajime blinked. Did he hear that right? Or was he drunker than he originally thought? Sure, he had tried to kiss Daichi, and sure, it seemed like Daichi was reciprocating. But did he mean what he said? Or was it just the alcohol talking?

However, before he could ask further questions, Hajime could feel Daichi’s even breathing running along his neck.

And he wasn’t exactly sure how he managed to get Daichi inside in his drunken stupor, but Hajime was pretty sure it involved Bokuto helping him land the barely conscious man on his couch. The alcohol was really starting to hit – probably shouldn’t have had that last shot of vodka – and all he wanted to do was lay down next to Tooru and call it a night.

“How was Tooru?” Hajime asked as Bokuto and Akaashi walked towards the door.

“Perfect,” Akaashi answered, putting on his coat and shoes.

“Dude, did you give Kuroo my message?” Bokuto questioned with utmost seriousness.

Hajime nodded. “Yeah. He one-upped you and drank six.”

“Hell yeah!” Bokuto cheered but was immediately quieted when Akaashi pinched his ear. He lowered his voice into what he considered a whisper. “Sorry, sorry!”

“Thanks again, you guys,” Hajime said.

“Have a good night, Iwaizumi-san.” Akaashi gave a small bow, still holding onto Bokuto’s ear, forcing the other man to bow with him. And he walked out the door. Still holding onto Bokuto’s ear and clearly ignoring the other’s pleas to let him go.

Hajime shut the door and retrieved a blanket from the hall closet, draping it over Daichi before heading to his room and stripping off his clothes that were laced with alcohol and some sweat. He pulled on some sweatpants, not even bothering with a shirt, and climbed into bed.

There was just enough of the moon’s soft glow in the room to illuminate Tooru’s sleeping face, and Hajime laid there for a moment, taking in this life he lived, and brushed the baby’s round cheek with the back of his hand. 

And Hajime couldn’t believe that five months ago, this little blessing had been given to him in a handbasket.

**

Daichi went back to Osaka the next morning after both thanking and apologizing to Hajime profusely for being such a pain last night and only relented when Hajime promised him for what had to be the millionth time that he wasn’t a burden.

“This is why I don’t drink,” Daichi said over the roar of the trains passing by.

“Because you’re such a lightweight?” Suga smirked.

Daichi sighed. “Why am I friends with you?”

“Because you love me,” Suga chirped.

Then, the automated voice over the loudspeaker announced that the train from Tokyo to Osaka was arriving in less than five minutes.

“That’s my cue.” Daichi picked up his suitcase and smiled. “Thank you. I had fun these last two weeks.”

Suga dealt him a sharp blow to the stomach (Hajime visibly winced) and grinned. “Don’t make it sound like it’s goodbye for good! You’ll be back! Or we’ll come see you!”

“R-Right,” Daichi croaked, trying not to double over as he waved to Tooru. He smiled. “Bye, Tooru. Try not to give your father too much of a hard time, okay?”

Tooru just tilted his head.

Daichi looked at Hajime. “Thanks again for last night.”

“Not a problem,” Hajime said.

The train pulled into the station and Daichi pat Hajime’s shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze, before boarding. Hajime froze, his entire body on overdrive as it focused on the spot where Daichi’s hand had just been. Suga joined his friend at his immediate right, and they both watched the train take off.

“What was that all about?” Suga asked, a teasing lilt to his tone.

“I have no idea,” Hajime said. Because he really had _no idea_.

“Bye-bye,” Tooru said.

Both Hajime and Suga looked at the baby with widened eyes.

“Did he just –” Suga started.

Hajime looked back at his son. “Tooru, can you say ‘bye-bye’?”

“Bye-bye,” Tooru said and even waved his tiny hand at the trains speeding through.

Suga clapped and cheered. “Good job, Tooru!”

Hajime hugged his son, smiling so hard his cheeks hurt, and earned a few giggles from the infant.

“That’s my boy,” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I headcanon that Iwaizumi would be clingy as hell when he's drunk and LOVES giving hugs while Daichi is very relaxed and is a total lightweight when it comes to holding his liquor. Kuroo's literally up for anything and Suga's filter is completely gone -- poof! He says what's on his mind and he couldn't care less if it hurts your feelings.
> 
> I caused a lot of pain last chapter so I tried to make up for it with fluff and happy times. I hope it was suffice.
> 
> Also, there's going to be quite a time skip next chapter so brace yourselves!


	9. Elevated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata tends to rub off on people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo guys -- check it!
> 
> IronyPistol here on ao3, known as [sandlessdesert](http://sandlessdesert.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, has made some amazing and beautiful fan art for this story! Please go check it out and give them all the love! You can view it [here](http://sandlessdesert.tumblr.com/post/146775888947/a-smile-to-the-west-chapter-5-by-creepingorsemary) and [here](http://sandlessdesert.tumblr.com/post/146777447232/doodles-inspired-by-tenacioustooru-s-gorgeous). Thank you so much!
> 
> You guys have seriously been awesome throughout this whole process! Your support is what drives me to continue this story and I wouldn't have made it this far without it. I cherish every hit, comment, and kudos. Thank you all so very, very much!
> 
> I also got a little carried away with this one. Once I started writing, I couldn't stop.

He let out a soft “oof” as something landed on his back.

Hajime breathed out a heavy sigh, stirred only for a moment, and slipped back into the bliss of sleep. He heard a small huff of frustration and his shoulder was nudged. And then his head was poked at. And then his cheek. His nose was even pinched.

“Daddy,” a voice said. “Daddy, wake up.”

Hajime didn’t move.

“Daddy.”

Not even a budge.

There was a soft whine. “Daddy.”

Hajime smirked into his pillow and laid still for a few more seconds before suddenly reaching back and pulling the tiny form into his arms, earning a noise of surprise. “Gotcha!”

There was a bubble of laughter and four-year-old Tooru grinned at his father, clutching onto his neck. “You tricked me!”

Hajime chuckled. “Good morning, Tooru.”

“Good morning,” Tooru said, allowing himself to be held. Then he hopped out of Hajime’s arms and pulled on his hand like he suddenly remembered why he had come over here in the first place. “C’mon, Daddy! Get up! We gotta go!”

Hajime smiled, watching the boy attempt to literally try and pull him out of bed. “Where are we going?”

“The park! Remember? You promised!” Tooru said.

“Did I promise that?” Hajime tapped his chin, looking contemplative. “Hmm…” He watched Tooru pout for a moment and placed his hand on the boy’s lowered head. “Did you pick up your toys?”

Tooru shook his head, wondering what his father was getting at.

“Oh man, that’s too bad. Because little boys with messy rooms don’t get to go to the park.” Hajime sighed heavily. “I wonder how we can fix this…”

Tooru’s eyes sparkled. “I’ll go pick up my room!”

Hajime chuckled, watching the boy take off, and started getting ready for the day. He helped Tooru get dressed and made breakfast, something light because they were meeting Suga for lunch a little later, and as he watched the boy practically scarf down his rice, he couldn’t believe that four years had already passed by. It was like he blinked and Tooru was wanting to do everything himself, running ahead of him by leaps and bounds.

Colorful pictures covered every inch the refrigerator, a smaller pair of shoes rested next to the larger ones by the door, toys were scattered nearly everywhere – under the couch, under Hajime’s bed, _in_ the couch – and animated movies were mixed in with the action and horror ones. This was a place that belonged to them – to a father and his son, to Iwaizumi Hajime and Iwaizumi Tooru – and Hajime found that a reason to smile every day.

It definitely hadn’t been easy, and there were plenty of days when Hajime felt like he was doing everything completely _wrong,_ but from soiled diapers to soiled sheets, from first words to full sentences, and from hesitant steps to a full on sprint, they were _here._

Tooru’s hair had grown out of its curl a bit and now resembled Oikawa’s hairstyle a little more, but its natural unruliness refused to be tamed. His coffee eyes were still wide with the innocence and wonder he harbored as an infant, but there was always that certain sharpness behind them when he met someone new. He would watch them, obviously trying to figure out how they ticked.

But there was no doubt about it.

His little boy was growing up.

“Tooru, slow down,” Hajime said, wiping a grain of rice from the boy’s cheek with no real force in his tone. “You’re gonna get a tummy ache.”

“I’m excited!” Tooru’s words were muffled by a mouthful of rice.

Hajime chuckled. “I know, son. Don’t talk with your mouth full, okay?”

Tooru swallowed. “’Kay.”

With breakfast eaten, Tooru was practically bouncing as he waited next to the front door while Hajime packed some snacks and a couple of water bottles in a bag, but the man paused. Tooru tilted his head.

“Where are your glasses?” Hajime asked.

Tooru smiled. “I don’t need them!”

“Oh yeah?” Hajime knelt down in front of the boy and held up his hand. “So how many fingers am I holding up?”

Tooru squinted. “Three!”

“Nice try. Two,” Hajime said, unable to keep from shaking his head in amusement. “Go put on your glasses please.”

Tooru pouted but did as told, going to his room. “Daddy, can I bring Godzilla?” he called out.

Godzilla, in Tooru’s mind, was the stuffed yellow and green dinosaur plush that Hajime had bought on the boy’s third birthday. He had caught Hajime watching one of the movies and had been fascinated with it, running around the house and roaring like he was the monster itself. He loved that toy more than anything, wanted to take it everywhere with him, and trying to wash it was always a hassle because Tooru would sit there and pout until he got it back.

“Won’t it get dirty?” Hajime slipped on his shoes.

“Oh, right!” Tooru then came running back, glasses on. He sat down to put on his shoes, his tongue sticking out in concentration as he tried to tie them, and huffing a bit when he didn’t get it on the first try. 

Hajime knew he’d been practicing and desperately wanted to get it right without his father’s help this time. So he waited patiently for Tooru to finish, smiling when the boy stood up.

Tooru looked down at his shoes, inspecting the knots and nodding in finality. “There.”

“Ready?” Hajime asked.

“Ready!” Tooru beamed, grabbing his father’s hand as they walked out the door.

It was a beautiful day for the park – the air was pleasantly warm, the sky was clear, and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom as spring was in full swing – and it seemed everyone else thought so, too. There was quite a large crowd out today as early in the morning as it was, and Hajime held onto Tooru’s hand a little tighter. The park was a little further from most of the places Hajime walked to, it was right next to the preschool Tooru was attending, but Hajime honestly preferred to walk whenever he could, especially at peak times when traffic was at its worst.

Tooru held out his arms, looking at his father, jumping up and down. “Daddy, up! Up!”

“All right – up we go!” Hajime swooped the boy into his arms and perched him on his shoulders, Tooru’s favorite place to be, he had learned.

Tooru giggled and rested his chin on Hajime’s head, hands curling into the wild spikes of hair. “I’m the grand king!” he announced.

“Oh yeah?” Hajime held onto Tooru’s ankles. “And what does that make me, Grand King?”

“You’re the knight!” Tooru said. “The best one, too! A knight is big and strong – like you! And they help protect the kingdom from danger, right? That’s what the books say.” 

Tooru had developed a penchant for kings and knights not too long ago, and combined with his love for Godzilla and ocean animals, it definitely made playtime interesting. The last imaginative run was a mashup of all three: Tooru was the king of a land near the ocean, and he had made friends with all the orcas (those were his absolute favorite next to dolphins) and they helped guard the kingdom from evil sea monsters along with Hajime, who had been assigned the role of Godzilla.

“You just destroy the monsters,” Tooru had explained. “Not buildings.”

But nothing could compare to Tooru’s love of space. He was utterly captivated with it, reading as many children’s books as he could and often staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars that Hajime had plastered all over the bedroom ceiling, asking his father if he thought that aliens were real and if they were nice.

_“I don’t know,” Hajime said as he tucked Tooru under the covers. “But if they aren’t, the orcas and I will protect you. After all, we can’t let anything happen to the king.”_

_“Pr-Pru…Protect?” Tooru sounded out the word and it felt funny on his tongue. “What does that mean?”_

_“It means to keep safe. To guard,” Hajime had explained. “Remember that show we were watching and the dolphins fought off a huge shark because it was trying to get to the baby?”_

_Tooru thought about it for a bit. “Uh-huh.”_

_“Well, the dolphins protected the baby from getting hurt by the shark. They kept it safe.”_

_Understanding lit up Tooru’s eyes. “So do you protect me, Daddy?”_

_Hajime nodded. “That’s right.”_

_Tooru smiled. “I’ll protect you, too.”_

Hajime glanced up at the boy. “Yup, they do. When did you get so smart?”

“Because you taught me a lot!” Tooru grinned.

The telltale sounds of laughter and children shouting in joy made Hajime look and waited until they were closer to the playground before lifting Tooru off his shoulders. The boy tugged his father further, excitement vibrating through him, and almost tripped over himself.

“Daddy, can I go play with them?” Tooru asked, looking back and forth between a small group of kids playing tag. “Please?”

Hajime ruffled his hair. “Of course you can.”

Tooru didn’t waste any time and bolted towards the group of children, and Hajime could hear him shyly ask for permission to play along, to which the children vehemently agreed. One of the little girls grabbed his hand and they were off.

Hajime settled on one of the few empty benches under the shade of a cherry blossom tree and pulled out one of the books he’d been meaning to finish forever ago, keeping the occasional eye on Tooru. And as the morning wore on into early afternoon, the boy came running back for either a sip of water or a small snack break before running back out there to climb on the jungle gym.

“Excuse me?”

Hajime looked to his right and there was a young woman standing there, smiling at him. She was maybe a year or two younger than him, probably three. Her brown hair curled in thick tendrils along her shoulders and her blue eyes sparked with energy.

“Do you mind if I sit here?”

“Not at all.” Hajime scooted over a bit so as not to crowd her and went back to reading.

She sat there for a moment, shifting a bit, before finally speaking. “I’m Takeuchi Akane, by the way.”

Hajime looked at her. “Iwaizumi Hajime.”

She twirled her hair, cheeks pink. “So do you like hanging out here, Iwaizumi-san? Or are one of these kids with you?”

Hajime wondered why she looked so nervous but pointed to Tooru. “Yeah, he’s right there. In the glasses and blue shirt.”

“He’s so cute!” she chirped. “I’m here with my little brother, too, and –” She stopped when she saw the little boy he had referred to ran towards them.

“Daddy!” he called and stopped just before he barreled into Hajime. “Did you see me? Did you see me? I made it all the way across the monkey bars! Cool, huh?”

Her eyes widened a bit, glancing back and forth between the two. _Daddy?_

Hajime smiled and brushed some of Tooru’s wild hair out of his face. “I sure did. That was pretty amazing. I’m very proud of you.”

Tooru grinned. “When are we eating lunch? I’m hungry.”

Hajime looked at his watch. “We’re going to have lunch with Uncle Kou. That sound like a good idea?”

Tooru nodded. “Yeah! Can we eat at the place that has the cat faces? I like their sandwiches.”

“Sure.” Hajime put his book in the bag and stood, taking Tooru’s hand and looking back at the young woman. “It was nice meeting you, Takeuchi-san. Have a nice day.”

She snapped out of her stupor and giggled rather nervously. “L-Likewise!”

Tooru eyed her for a moment over his shoulder before clasping onto his father’s hand tighter as they left the park.

**

“Uncle Kou!” Tooru ran ahead and jumped into Suga’s open arms.

Suga caught the boy and spun him around. “Hey!” He hugged Tooru. “You’re getting so big! What’s up with that?”

“Daddy makes me eat all my vegetables,” Tooru said and then stuck his tongue out, nose scrunching. “Even the gross ones. He said it makes kids grow big and strong.”

“Well, he’s absolutely right,” Suga said.

“Aww.” Tooru pouted, evidently disappointed when he saw that Suga wasn’t on his side. But he bounced back as soon as Hajime caught up, running over to grab his father’s hand again.

Hajime smiled. “Hey, Kou.”

“Haven’t seen you in ages.” Suga clapped Hajime on his back.

“You saw us three days ago.”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, Haji!” Suga grinned. “Besides, look at my little Tooru-chan. He’s growing up so fast! Three days is too long. I’ve missed so much!”

Hajime rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”

Suga looked at Tooru. “All right, kiddo – where do you wanna go eat lunch?”

“Let’s go to the cat place!” Tooru said. “Can we? Please?”

Hajime could’ve sworn that he saw Suga tense a bit before the man smiled with an “Of course we can!” and they started walking in the direction of the café. But he didn’t bring any attention to it and instead listened to Tooru avidly explain to Suga how whales and dolphins communicated with each other underwater. 

“It sounds so pretty!” Tooru said. “It’s called eck-ecku… um…”

“Echolocation,” Hajime said.

“Right!” Tooru lit up again. “Echolocation.” The word was still a little jumbled, but he had the basic pronunciation down.

“That’s amazing, Tooru-chan,” Suga marveled as they sat down at in their usual booth after they ordered some drinks.

The café wasn’t particularly busy, they had arrived about an hour before the lunch rush would hit, and Hajime was grateful for that. Tooru opened up one of the menus and his eyes darted over the colorful pictures, his little tongue sticking out as he tried to make a decision.

“What’re you gonna get today, Tooru?” Hajime asked.

“Um, this one.” Tooru pointed to one of the sandwiches in the kids’ section of the menu. He giggled. “They make it look like a cat.”

Hajime smiled. “Great choice, kiddo. I think I’m gonna get a sandwich, too.” He looked at Suga. “The usual for you, Kou?”

“Oh, I’m not very hungry,” he said.

Hajime raised an eyebrow. “You feeling all right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine! Just not hungry,” Suga said and looked around the room a bit, evidently not wanting to meet Hajime’s eyes. He’d definitely be questioned about that later.

“Are you sick, Uncle Kou?” Tooru asked, concerned. “Maybe you should take medicine. It’ll make your tummy feel better.”

Suga smiled. “I’m not sick, Tooru-chan. But thank you for worrying about me.”

Tooru looked confused. “How come you’re not eating?”

Suga seemed at a loss for an adequate explanation so Hajime jumped in. “Maybe Uncle Kou had a big breakfast this morning and he still feels full from it, son.” He looked at Suga. “Right?”

“Yeah, that’s it.” Suga nodded. “I had a _really_ big breakfast and ate a lot.”

Tooru seemed to accept that answer and sipped on some of his apple juice. “That makes sense.” Then his attention was redirected when one of the items on the menu caught his eye. “Daddy, if I eat all my food, can I try milk bread?”

“Sure thing, kiddo.” Hajime smiled.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite little munchkin!” Kuroo grinned as soon as he approached the table.

Suga barely looked at him.

Tooru giggled at the word ‘munchkin’. “Hi, Tetsu-chan!”

Kuroo looked at Hajime, slightly defeated. “That nickname’s never going away, is it?”

“Afraid not.” Hajime chuckled.

Kuroo sighed good-naturedly and smiled at Tooru. “All right, little man, what’s it gonna be today?”

Tooru pushed his glasses back up on his face. “I want the sandwich that looks like a cat!” He looked at the words, trying to sound them out. “The s… str… straw… strawberry,” he looked at his father to see if he was right and smiled when Hajime nodded, “sand… sandwich.”

“Perfect,” Kuroo said. “That’s definitely one of my favorites.” He turned to Hajime next. “And you, Papa Bear?”

Hajime barely even bat an eye at the nickname anymore. “I’ll have the tonkatsu sandwich.”

“You got it.” Kuroo nodded and then turned to Suga. “And you, Koushi?”

Suga smiled, but it was strained. “Nothing for me, thanks.”

Kuroo left it at that. “I’ll be back with your food in a little bit.”

“Everything okay between you two?” Hajime asked when Kuroo was out of earshot.

“Yeah,” Suga said. “Why?”

“You’re acting weird,” Hajime said.

Suga shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb, Kou. It doesn’t suit you.” Hajime drank some of his water.

If Suga remembered his words to Hajime when they were sitting in this exact same spot four years ago, then he didn’t say anything. Instead, he turned to the boy next to Hajime. “So, Tooru-chan, how’s school going? Do you like it?”

“I like it a lot!” Tooru was coloring in one of the cats on the blank pages the café supplied for children. “Ennoshita-sensei can be strict but he’s really funny when we go outside to play.” He grinned. “I love it when he plays tag with us. It’s a lot of fun! And I can count to ten now!”

“That’s great!” Suga said.

“Azumane-sensei says I’m one of the smartest kids in the class.” Tooru puffed his little chest out with pride. He deflated a little bit. “But I’m not as smart as Hikaru. He’s a genius.”

Suga raised an eyebrow. “Who’s Hikaru?”

“A boy in his class,” Hajime replied. “He and Tooru have a sort of rivalry going on.”

“He’s good at everything!” Tooru exclaimed. “It’s not fair.”

“Some people are better than other people at things, remember, Tooru?” Hajime said.

Tooru pouted. “But it’s not fair that he gets to be good at _everything.”_ Then there was a mischievous glint in his eye. “Except for reading. I’m better than him at that.”

Kuroo came over with their food just then, placing the smaller plate in front of Tooru and the next one in front of Hajime. “There we go. Anything else I can get for you guys?”

“I think we’re good,” Hajime said. “Thanks.”

“Enjoy.” Kuroo waved and went to go wipe down some tables.

There was a somewhat tense silence that had settled over the table, at least between Hajime and Suga, and Tooru munched away on his sandwich. Some of the whipped cream and strawberry jam filling stained the side of his cheeks and he paused just long enough to let Hajime wipe his face.

“Uncle Kou, do you like Tetsu-chan?” Tooru asked suddenly.

Suga almost spit out the water he was drinking. “W-What?”

“Do you like Tetsu-chan?” Tooru repeated.

Hajime paused. He actually wanted to hear the answer to this, too.

Suga glanced at Hajime, as if silently pleading for some sort of help, then smiled at the boy. “Well, yes, I do. He’s a great friend, Tooru-chan.”

“No, I mean do you like _like_ him. Like the kissing kind of like,” Tooru said.

“O-Oh.” Suga’s face turned an unbelievably deep shade of red. “Why do you ask?”

“I think you do.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because you act funny around him. You talk weird and you get really red.” He looked at Suga and giggled. “Like you are now!”

Suga tried to sputter out some form a response, and it didn’t help that Tooru kept teasing him about it. Hajime, however, couldn’t be more amused. Suga was getting harassed by a four-year-old to point that he was a stuttering mess, and this might’ve taken a spot in the compiled list of Tooru’s Best Moments.

“It’s okay, Uncle Kou. Daddy acts funny around Dai-chan, too.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “I think he likes him.”

Wait, what?

Suga smirked, ready to turn the tables. “You know what, I think so, too.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa – when did this become about me?” Hajime asked.

“Daddy and Dai-chan sitting in a tree,” Tooru sang. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

“Very funny.” Hajime ruffled the boy’s hair and chuckled. “Eat your sandwich.”

Daichi had been transferred to Tokyo last year for work, and that made it easier on all of them to hang out during the weekends when they had nothing to do. While he will admit the fact that he enjoyed the little flutter his heart did every time he saw the man, he nowhere near enjoyed that as much as when he saw how wonderful Daichi was to Tooru, giving the boy piggyback rides whenever he asked and entertaining the wild imagination Tooru harbored.

It never failed to warm Hajime to his very core.

Tooru put his second sandwich on a napkin and wrapped it, reaching over the table and holding it out to Suga. “Eat this when you get hungry later, okay?”

“Tooru-chan, you should eat it,” Suga said. “I’ll be okay.”

“Grown-ups need to eat, too,” Tooru insisted, his eyes firm and clearly not taking no for an answer. “How’re you going to help the mommies and babies if you’re too hungry?”

Suga, genuinely touched, took the offered food. “Thank you, Tooru-chan. That’s very kind of you. I’ll be sure to eat it.”

Hajime smiled. His son really was a sweet kid. He was always smiling and laughing and worrying about the people that were in his life. If Hajime was tired after getting home from work, Tooru was more than content with sitting on the couch and watching TV instead of playing. When Suga had caught a nasty cold last winter, Tooru had made five different get-well cards and drew four pictures of him, Suga, and Hajime smiling. Suga still had those pictures and cards up on his refrigerator.

They wrapped up lunch pretty soon afterwards when Tooru practically inhaled his milk bread, and Tooru hugged Suga tight, asking when he was going to see Suga again.

“I’ll come by tomorrow after work,” Suga said as he held the boy in his arms. “How does that sound?”

Tooru vehemently nodded. “Yeah!”

“It’s a date then.” Suga set the boy down. “That okay with you, Hajime?”

“You know I’ve never minded,” Hajime said.

Suga smiled. “Great. I’ll see you two tomorrow.”

Tooru waved. “Bye, Uncle Kou!”

“Bye,” Suga smiled, waving back and headed in the direction of his apartment.

Hajime waited until he lost sight of Suga in the crowd before looking at the boy next to him. “Ready to go home, pal?” 

Tooru nodded and took his father’s hand. “Yup!” 

“Did you have fun?” Hajime asked as they made their way home, passing by various shops that made Hajime wonder what he was going to get Tooru for his fifth birthday.

“Lots of fun!” Tooru skipped along the sidewalk. “Can we go to the park again tomorrow?”

Hajime smiled at his son’s enthusiasm and he always had a hard time saying no when Tooru was just _so excited_ about the little things in life. “Sure, I don’t see why not.”

Tooru jumped up and down. “Yay!”

“Iwaizumi-san!”

Hajime stopped, turning around to look at whoever called him.

Hinata and Kageyama – well, _Hinata_ – was waving at him, trying to catch his attention and donning his trademark megawatt grin. “Hey, Iwaizumi-san!” Hinata took Kageyama’s hand and started walking towards them. “Come on, Bakageyama!”

Tooru clutched onto Hajime’s leg, hiding behind him. “Daddy, who’re they?”

Hajime placed his hand on Tooru’s head and smiled reassuringly at him. “Friends from when I was in high school. Don’t worry, okay?”

Tooru nodded but still clung onto his father.

“Hinata, Kageyama,” Hajime said as they approached. “It’s been a while. How’s the volleyball team going?”

It’d been three years since he last saw the duo after Hinata’s shoulder had healed, and he had only seen them on TV as they surprised each every team they played against with their god-like quick. Hell, it never ceased to amaze Hajime, and he’d seen that insane speed firsthand. Not much had changed between the two of them, except they had gained a little more muscle and had grown a few more inches – Hinata especially. He still was nowhere near as tall as Kageyama or even Hajime, but he was tall _er._

“It’s going great!” Hinata beamed.

“And how’s your shoulder?” 

“Never been better,” Hinata said, waving his arm around for emphasis.

“Hinata, you dumbass, you’re gonna hit me!” Kageyama snapped, moving out the way.

Hinata spun on his heel to face the dark-haired man. “Not in front of the kid, Bakageyama! Watch your language!”

Kageyama raised an eyebrow. “What kid – oh.” He finally noticed the little boy hiding behind Hajime’s leg peeking out at them with a curious but obviously nervous gaze. That kid. How did he not see him?

Hinata crouched down to be at eye level with Tooru. “Hey there. Don’t mind Kageyama. He makes a lot of noise, but he’s harmless.” He grinned. “I’m Hinata Shouyou. What’s your name?”

The boy looked up at Hajime and upon receiving a nod, he came out from behind Hajime’s leg but still kept his firm grip. “I-Iwaizumi Tooru.”

“You can’t be the same Tooru that Yachi used to babysit, are you?” Hinata smiled. “You’ve gotten so big!”

Tooru seemed to ease a little more upon hearing the familiar name. “You know Yachi-chan?”

“Sure do!” Hinata said. “We’re her friends.” He looked back at the man behind him, but stopped short when he saw how… pale Kageyama looked. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Kageyama said after a moment, shifting awkwardly on his feet. “I’m Kageyama Tobio.”

Hajime raised an eyebrow. What was his deal? He knew Kageyama had always been a little stiff with new people and sometimes came on too strongly, but it looked like his former underclassman was going to pass out.

Tooru stared at the man, trying to figure him out. “Can I call you Tobio-chan?”

Kageyama stiffened.

Hajime was about to question the setter when it suddenly dawned on him that “Tobio-chan” was what Oikawa used to call him. He was never entirely sure where Kageyama stood with Oikawa in terms of their rivalry, he had only heard Oikawa’s side of the story, but now that Oikawa was gone, Kageyama would probably prefer not to be called that. Not that Tooru knew what was going on, he was asking an innocent question.

Hajime started “Tooru –”

“Yeah,” Kageyama finally said, voice low. “Yeah, you can call me that.”

Tooru grinned. “’Kay!”

“So, Tooru, are you gonna play volleyball when you get older?” Hinata asked.

Tooru tilted his head. “Volleyball?”

“It’s the sport I watch on TV sometimes,” Hajime explained. “Hinata and Kageyama both play on the national team.”

Tooru looked up at his father. “Did you play volleyball, too, Daddy?”

“Sure did.” Hajime nodded.

“Your dad was a super strong player! Like _bwah!”_ Hinata said. “He was the ace!”

“What’s an ace?” Tooru wondered.

“The ace is the strongest player on a volleyball team,” Hinata said. “They blast through the opponents’ defenses like _gwah!_ and _bam!”_ He threw his arm down in a spiking motion. “See? Like that!”

Hajime shook his head in amusement, watching Hinata. _I guess that’s one way of putting it,_ he thought.

“Idiot, how is he supposed to understand what you’re saying?” Kageyama chastised. “Explain it to him properly.”

Hinata huffed. “Since you’ve been hanging around Tsukishima so much, I’d like to see you try and explain it better!”

Tooru’s eyes sparkled as Hinata described it, practically imagining it and seeing his father in a newfound light. “Really, Daddy? You were the ace?”

“I was.” Hajime grinned.

“That’s so cool!” Tooru chirped.

“We have a volleyball game in a little bit. We’re actually headed to meet our team now,” Hinata said. “Would you like to come?”

Tooru pulled on Hajime’s hand. “Can we go, Daddy? Please? _Please?_ I wanna see them play!”

Hajime looked at the duo. “What time is your game?”

“In about an hour. We’re meeting up with our team before we go to the gym,” Hinata answered. “We’re playing against the national Australia team. They’re supposed to be really good.”

Hajime looked down at Tooru, who was now utilizing his best tactic to get whatever he wanted: the puppy-dog look. Hajime would be lying if he said he was completely immune to it – Bokuto and Suga were the worst whenever Tooru pulled this trick on them and caved almost immediately – but it wasn’t like Hajime planned on saying no anyway. But that didn’t mean he didn’t like teasing Tooru every now and then.

He put on a contemplative expression. “Hmm… I don’t know.”

“Please!” Hinata had joined Tooru in giving their best puppy-dog eyes.

Hajime smiled. “I _guess_ we can go.”

“Yay!” Hinata and Tooru cheered and tried to get Kageyama to join in on their celebration.

“Well, we’d better get going if we want to make it on time and find a seat, Tooru,” Hajime said.

“’Kay!” Tooru said. “Bye, Shou-chan! Bye, Tobio-chan!”

“We’ll see you two at the gym. Good luck.” Hajime picked Tooru up and put him on his shoulders when the boy asked, listening as Tooru went on and on about getting to see a real volleyball game.

**

The gym thankfully wasn’t as full as Hajime thought it would be and they managed to find two seats in the very front row that allowed Tooru to peek through the guardrails and get a closer look. But it didn’t stay that empty for long and soon the gym was brimming with people.

Tooru leaned against the railing, looking around and started jumping up and down and pointing. “Daddy! Daddy, look! There they are!”

The crowd went wild when Japan’s national team jogged out to the court and started warming up. Tooru was full of excitement, trying to expend it by bouncing on the tips of his toes as he watched the team execute spikes and sets. Hajime joined his son at the railing, knowing there was no way that the boy would be able to sit still for more than two seconds. He explained the concept of the game to Tooru and the different positions so the boy could try and follow when the game started. Tooru absorbed everything like a sponge, listening intently.

“What position does Tobio-chan play, Daddy?” Tooru asked.

“He’s a setter,” Hajime said. “Remember what the setter does?”

Tooru nodded. “He gives the ball to the wing spikers so they can hit it.”

“Right.”

“What about Shou-chan?” Tooru pointed.

“He’s a middle blocker.”

“So he stops the other team from scoring?” Tooru said. “Number 11 is a middle blocker, too, right? He’s tall. And he wears glasses like me!”

Hajime smiled, proud that the boy had caught on so quickly. “Exactly.”

“Who’s the ace, Daddy?”

Hajime looked among the players for the jersey number he had worn so many years ago and pointed. “There. He’s wearing number four.”

“He’s the ace?” Tooru tilted his head. He scrunched up his nose a little. “He looks like a jerk.”

Hajime couldn’t help but laugh. Of course he’d think that Ushijima Wakatoshi looked like a jerk.

The referees whistled, signaling the end of the warmup and the start of the game, and both teams cleaned up before lining along opposite sides of the court. They bowed to each other and shouted “Let’s play!” before the starting members took their respective places on the court.

“It’s starting, Daddy!” Tooru clutched onto Hajime’s sleeve.

The opposing team won the coin flip and got first serve. The ball soared over the net and the game was on. The large crowd cheered Japan on, hollering when Number 14 on their team received the ball perfectly and sent it towards Kageyama.

“Nice receive!” Kageyama said, hands up and ready.

Two players from the back joined Hinata and Ushijima in running towards the front line in a synchronized attack and there was excitement among the crowd as they wondered who Kageyama was going to pass to. The opposing team watched carefully, ready to block, but Hajime knew that they’d be too slow for what was coming.

**

Tooru watched the ball soar through the air, never taking his eyes away once. His daddy had said something amazing was about to happen and he couldn’t look away otherwise he’d miss it. So Tooru watched, waiting for that amazing thing with bated breath.

The ball touched Kageyama’s fingertips for only a moment before it was sent flying behind him and right in Hinata’s waiting palm. The spike cut in between two players, and even after the ball had rolled out of bounds, they hadn’t moved, seemingly trying to process what had just happened.

Tooru cheered with the other spectators, pulling on his father’s sleeve, unable to contain the pure energy roaring through him. “Daddy, did you see that?”

“I did,” his father said with a smile.

“That was so amazing! It was so _fast!_ How did they do that?” Tooru grinned.

When that ball had slammed down on the other side of the net, Tooru felt something resonate within him, something he couldn’t ignore even if he tried. It was familiar and comfortable, but electrifying and new all at once. 

He had made up his mind.

He wanted to play volleyball.

**

“It was like _bwah!_ and _bam!_ and – and – and so _cool!”_ Tooru waved his arms wildly, his hair still damp from his bath.

Hajime smiled as he toweled the boy’s hair off and helped him slip into his pajamas. Tooru had spent less than ten minutes with Hinata and had already picked up his mannerisms. “It was pretty amazing, wasn’t it? Did you have a lot of fun today?”

“Yeah!” Tooru exclaimed. “Can I play volleyball, Daddy?”

His father looked at him. “You want to play volleyball?

“Uh-huh! I wanna play volleyball like you did! And I wanna be a wing spiker just like you! I’m gonna be the ace!” Tooru grinned. “Will you help me, Daddy?”

Hajime smiled, feeling his heart swell in his chest. “Of course I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Want a better idea of what little Tooru was eating? Check out this link [here.](http://www.japan-talk.com/jt/new/japanese-sandwiches) It's number 7! And the sandwich Hajime was eating is number 11!


	10. Letters and Love Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Volleyball is a team sport -- both in playing and in teaching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this all in one day since I'm gonna be busy these next couple of days for more exams and a presentation so please forgive any grammar and spelling mistakes! I'll run through here again after I'm done with everything and clean it up!

“Ready?”

“Ready!”

Hajime tossed up the ball, watching it arc softly in the air before it came down. Tooru waited in a receiving position, watching the ball with careful eyes as it came towards him. When it came down, he did manage to receive it, but it ricocheted back into his face and he fell over. His father had been extra careful to not add any force in his tosses so it didn’t really hurt when it hit his face, just a light sting, but it was still _embarrassing._ He hadn’t been able to get it at all these last few tosses and now this happened.

Tooru sniffled, rubbing his cheek as he tried to collect himself.

Hajime went over and knelt down next to the boy, inspecting his cheek. “Are you okay?”

Tooru nodded. “I’m okay.”

They had gone back to the park just like Hajime promised, but Tooru was now more interested in learning how to play volleyball than playing a game of tag or traversing the jungle gym, and politely turned down the other children when they asked if he wanted to play.

“Why don’t we take a break?” Hajime said. “We’ve been at it for almost an hour.”

“No, I’m okay!” Tooru protested, standing up and brushing off his clothes. “See? I wanna go again.”

Hajime sighed. “Tooru, there’s nothing wrong with taking a break.”

“But I wanna receive it!” Tooru’s tiny hands clenched into fists at his sides. “I haven’t… I haven’t received it at all.” Tears played at his eyes and he lowered his head. This was so humiliating! How could he ever expect to be a good volleyball player if he couldn’t even receive? How could ever expect to be an ace like his father?

Receiving was one of the most important things in volleyball. Without receiving, the ball can’t get to the setter and you can’t attack. Why? Why couldn’t he get it right?! He just… he wanted to make his father proud. He was trying, he really was _trying._

“Tooru,” Hajime started, voice soft. “Tooru, look at me.”

The boy lifted his head, tears dangerously close to spilling, and bit his lip.

“Receiving well doesn’t happen overnight,” Hajime said. “It takes lots and lots of practice. You’re only four-years-old, and you’ve already done so well.” He wiped his son’s unshed tears. “Okay?”

“B-But you’re all so good at it,” Tooru reasoned. “I wanna be good at it, too… like Tobio-chan and Shou-chan. Like you.”

“But we all started out exactly where you are right now,” Hajime said. “We had to practice a whole lot to get as good as we are. When I was your age, I hadn’t even thought about playing volleyball so you’re already way ahead of me.”

Tooru stared into his father’s eyes for any sort of lying. “Really?”

“Really. I was more interested in exploring and catching bugs.”

The boy let out a little laugh. “You were a weird kid.”

“Say that all you want, but I actually caught a lot of really cool stuff.” Hajime smiled, rubbing his son’s slightly reddened arms, a result from the bumping practice Tooru did earlier so he could get a feel for the ball and the basic concept of receiving. It took quite a few tries but the boy managed to get the hang of it and asked for a toss. “Let’s take a break, okay? Then we can try again later.”

Tooru wiped his eyes. “One more toss.”

Hajime held a warning tone. “Tooru…”

“Please! Just one more! If I don’t get it, I’ll take a break – I promise!”

Hajime stared at his son for a moment, wondering if he should relent and give the boy one more toss or if he should hold his ground and make him sit in the shade. But then he saw the absolute determination in Tooru’s eyes, something that he hadn’t even seen when they started practicing out here an hour ago. 

He sighed, scratching his head. “All right. _One_ more toss,” he said. “After that, we’re taking a break.” His tone left no room for argument.

Tooru nodded and sunk back into a receiving position, exactly as his father had showed him. “Right!”

Hajime picked up the volleyball and walked a few feet away, turning back around. “Ready?”

“Ready!”

Hajime tossed it up just as he did before, watching it for a moment, and cursed to himself when the trajectory was a little off. He looked at Tooru, about to tell him not to worry about that one and they’d try again, but stopped short when he saw Tooru sidestep to stand in the ball’s path.

And he received it.

The ball hit Tooru’s arms and was sent back in Hajime’s general direction, bouncing off to the side in the grass, and they stood there for a moment, both equally awestruck. 

Tooru looked at his father and a giant grin broke out across his face. “I did it!”

Hajime ran over and scooped up his son in his arms, hugging him tight and spinning him around. 

Tooru laughed, clinging to his father. “Did I do good, Daddy?”

Hajime grinned. “You did awesome, son. I’m _so_ proud of you.”

“Y-You’re not mad?” Tooru asked.

Hajime carried Tooru over to the shade of the tree, confused as to why Tooru would ask such a question. “Why would I be mad?”

Tooru looked down, a little nervous to meet his father’s gaze. “Because… because I didn’t get it on the first try.”

“Tooru,” Hajime set the boy back down again in the grass and sat next to him, “I would never be mad at you for something as silly as that. What matters most is that you _tried,_ and that’s all I can ever ask for. If you don’t get it the first time, it’s okay – you can try again later.” He brushed some sweaty strands of hair out of Tooru’s face and smiled. “But look – you did it. You received it. That’s awesome! And I am so very proud of you.”

Tooru grinned, tears at his eyes, but he grinned all the while.

Hajime handed him a water bottle and a bag of apple slices. “Rest for a little bit and then we can go back out there, all right?”

Tooru nodded, digging into the bag and munching on an apple slice. “’Kay.” He leaned against his father’s side. “Daddy, did Uncle Kou play volleyball, too?”

“He sure did.”

“What position did he play?”

“Setter.”

“Did you play on the same team?”

Hajime shook his head. “No, we played against each other.”

Tooru looked up at him, eyes wide in disbelief. “You did?”

“Yeah, we did.” Hajime chuckled at his son’s shocked expression.

“Was he good?”

“He sure was.” He smiled. “He gave us quite a bit of trouble in high school.”

“Wow,” Tooru marveled. “Who else played volleyball?”

“Sawamura, Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kuroo all played, too.”

Tooru’s eyes sparkled. “Really?”

“Yup.”

“That’s so cool!” Tooru continued to eat his apples. “Do you think they could teach me things, too?”

“I don’t think you’re gonna even have to ask,” Hajime chuckled. He had a feeling that the minute Bokuto and Kuroo found out that Tooru wanted to play volleyball, they’d whisk him away to the gym and teach him everything they knew.

They sat underneath the shade of the tree for about 30 minutes, Tooru still leaning against Hajime’s side and Hajime stroking his hair, as they watched children run by and people throw Frisbees to their dogs. Tooru had been quiet for a little bit, and Hajime looked down at the boy, only to find that he was fast asleep with an apple still clutched in his hand.

He chuckled and took the apple, placing it back in the plastic bag and packed up everything in the backpack before lifting Tooru into his arms and heading home. Tooru clutched onto his father, keeping his face in the crook of Hajime’s neck, and dreamed of spiking the ball past the opponents’ defenses.

**

Hajime placed Tooru on his bed, covering him up with the space quilt Michiko had made for Christmas last year, and placed a soft kiss to Tooru’s head. The boy stirred for a moment, his arms reaching out and grabbing ‘Godzilla’ and pulling it close, and settled back into sleep. Hajime smiled and shut the door on his way out.

He moved about the living area, picking up the toys and coloring books Tooru had left strewn about last night. Tooru’s newest drawing rested on the coffee table and Hajime picked it up, unable to keep the smile from growing on his face. It was of him and Tooru again, but this time Tooru was holding a volleyball and there was a volleyball net next to them. “The ace!” was scribbled in messy katakana up at the top.

This one was definitely going up on the refrigerator, Hajime decided.

He quietly put away Tooru’s toys in the boy’s room and was about to find a spot on the fridge to put this when there was a knock on the front door. Hajime raised an eyebrow. He wasn’t expecting anyone besides Suga and the man usually let himself in on that regard. 

_Please don’t let it be anyone trying to sell something,_ he thought.

He opened the door.

“Hey, Kou.” Hajime stepped out of the way to let the other man inside.

“Hey.” Suga smiled, taking off his shoes. “It’s quiet. Is Tooru asleep?”

“Yeah,” Hajime said, going back to the kitchen to put up Tooru’s picture. “He wore himself out at the park today.” He offered Suga something to drink but the man declined. “He received the ball for the first time today and he was so excited about it.”

“So, he wants to play volleyball, huh?” Suga sat on the couch. “Let me guess – you had to force him to take a break.”

“You know him so well.” Hajime sat down next to Suga, glancing at the show on TV. It was an American one he had recently gotten into about two brothers going across the country fighting off demons and other monsters. It was… interesting, to say the least.

Suga watched as black smoke shot out of a person’s mouth and raised an eyebrow. “What the hell is on your TV right now?”

Hajime turned down the volume a bit more. “Futakuchi recommended it.” He looked at Suga and didn’t miss the troubled look darkening the man’s eyes. He’d seen that look a lot more often lately and it was really starting to worry him. He didn’t like it. “Everything okay?”

“I don’t know anymore, Haji.” Suga sighed, bringing his knees up to his chest. “I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.”

“About what?”

Suga didn’t answer for a while. “About Kuroo.”

Uh oh.

“Did you two have a fight or something?” Hajime asked.

“No, not really? I don’t know.” Suga shrugged. “We’re kind of in a weird place right now.”

“What happened?”

Suga wrapped one of his arms around his legs, rubbing the back of his neck with the other. “Remember when Tetsurou came over to my place last weekend because his parents were giving him hell about making some use of his degree?”

Hajime nodded.

“Well, we got drunk.” He paused. “And slept together.”

_Oh._

It took a minute for Hajime to process what Suga had just told him. He figured Suga and Kuroo always had some sort of feelings for each other that extended beyond friendship, but he definitely wasn’t expecting that. Even so, all he could manage was a quiet, “…what?”

Suga huffed. “We got drunk off our asses and had sex, Hajime. I had sex with Kuroo Tetsurou.”

“Koushi…”

“And I’m just so confused, Hajime.” Suga’s voice broke and he hid his face in the gap between his knees. “I just – I don’t know what I’m doing with my life anymore and the last thing I want to do is hurt him. He’s been so understanding about everything and I’m _hurting_ him.”

Hajime waited for a moment before responding, trying to figure out the best way to go about this. “Do you like him, Kou?”

Suga only nodded.

“Then what are you confused about?”

“Because,” Suga lifted his head, and tears had gathered in the corners of his eyes, “aren’t I betraying Tooru like this? By falling for someone else? I feel like I am.” He sighed. “I don’t… I don’t want to make it seem like I didn’t love Tooru. Because I did.” The tears flowed freely down his cheeks. “I loved him so much and I just… I can’t keep hurting Tetsurou like this because I can’t figure my fucking life out.”

Hajime simply listened.

“I loved Tooru so much – I still do – but I also have feelings for Tetsurou and he deserves so much better than this. He deserves someone who isn’t an emotional wreck. And I don’t want to betray Tooru.” He put his head back down, shoulders shaking.

“Koushi,” Hajime waited for the man to look at him. “For a moment, just forget about what everyone else might think, forget what I think – do you want to be with Kuroo?”

Suga nodded and wiped his face. “Yes, I do.”

“Then I say go for it.” He continued when Suga opened his mouth to protest. “Because let me tell you something: I have no doubt in my mind that you love Oikawa. I know you loved him. And he loved you. God, did he love you.” Hajime smiled softly, sadly. “He wouldn’t shut up about you, you know. Not even for a second. Even before you two started dating.”

Suga just stared at him.

“But then were would be days where he doubted things, most of all himself. And he wondered if you were truly happy being with him. If he was enough to make you happy,” Hajime said. “You know what he told me? He told me that he was more than willing to let you go if he wasn’t the one who made you happy.” Hajime remembered having that conversation with Oikawa as if it were yesterday.

_“It’d kill me inside,” Oikawa said, tears in his eyes but a smile on his face. “But if Koushi finds someone better than me, someone who gives him what I can’t, I’ll let him go. I won’t let him suffer.”_

“And I know for a fact that he wouldn’t want you to be alone and miserable for the rest of your life,” Hajime said, keeping his attempt at a smile. He wanted to cry just as much as Suga did, as much as he wanted to whenever his best friend was brought up. “He’d want you to find someone and be happy. Allow yourself to be happy, Koushi. I want that for you. And so does Oikawa.”

Suga’s bottom lip trembled and then he fell against Hajime, into the man’s arms, releasing the tears he had been trying so hard to hold back, releasing the sobs that tremored through him. Letting go of the pain that he woke up to every morning and fell asleep with every night.

Hajime just held him, rubbing his back as he cried, feeling the agony that Sugawara Koushi had endured for four long years after the sudden passing of Oikawa Tooru. He was still coping. Still grieving. And he could only pray that Kuroo would help him. Would help him heal. Would _understand_ where Suga was coming from and why this was so hard.

“I’m sure if you explained everything to Kuroo, he’ll understand,” Hajime said softly. “Just talk to him, okay?”

Suga only nodded and continued to cry.

**

His eyes fluttered open and blearily looked around, recognition of his surroundings washing over him as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. He had another strange dream, the ones where he was really big – like a grownup – and played volleyball. He usually didn’t think much of them, but this one was different from the others.

His daddy and Uncle Kou were in it.

He didn’t really understand how he could be taller than his both daddy and Uncle Kou when he was only four-years-old, but something about the whole dream felt familiar. And he couldn’t explain why.

Tooru slid out of bed, Godzilla tucked in one arm and his space blanket in the other, and shuffled his way out of his room but stopped short when he heard his Uncle Kou’s voice.

Was he… was he crying?

Tooru had never heard his Uncle Kou cry before (he doesn’t even remember hearing his father cry) and decided that he never wanted to hear it again. It made him really, really sad. 

And he wanted to help. To help make it stop.

So he opened his bedroom door and peeked around the corner.

**

“Daddy?”

Hajime turned to the meek voice and Suga immediately straightened, wiping his face with his sleeves and smiled at the little boy. His eyes were red and swollen but he tried. “Hey, Tooru-chan.”

“Hey.” Hajime smiled, opening his arms when Tooru walked over and pulled the boy into his lap. “Did you have a good nap?”

Tooru nodded, noticing the tear stains on his father’s shirt and turned to Suga. “Uncle Kou, why were you crying? Are you sad?”

“No, I’m not sad.” Suga did his best to continue an attempt at a smile.

“Then how come you were crying?” Tooru asked. “Is it because work was too hard? Sometimes I want to cry when my work is too hard.”

Suga nodded. “Yeah, that’s it. My job can be hard sometimes and I can get really frustrated.”

Tooru held out his arms, wiggling his fingers. “Negativity,” he threw up his arms into the air, “begone!”

Hajime and Suga laughed, and the latter ruffled the boy’s hair. “That’s right – negativity begone.” His smile was wider and it seemed a little more genuine. “I feel better already. Thank you, Tooru-chan.

And Tooru just grinned.

The topic moved on to Hajime’s and Suga’s days as volleyball players, Tooru’s curiosity getting the better of him, and he couldn’t stop asking questions. Hajime remembered that he had some of their old volleyball matches on DVD and made a note to show Tooru at some point.

“Will you help me learn receiving, Uncle Kou?” Tooru asked, volleyball in his hands and he rested it on top of his mop of hair.

“Sure thing, kiddo,” Suga said. “I’ll even bring Daichi over and he can teach you a lot more than I can.”

Tooru tilted his head. “Is Dai-chan good at receiving?”

“One of the best receivers I know.” Suga smiled. “How about we all go to the gym later and practice? I’ll call everyone and let them know. Would you like that?”

Tooru nodded. “Yeah! Yeah!” He turned to his father. “Daddy, we can go, right? I rested just like you told me to! I rested a lot!”

“Sure.” Hajime nodded.

“But there’s only one thing we need you to do, Tooru-chan,” Suga said.

Tooru looked at him. “What is it?”

“We need you to take breaks whenever we tell you to, okay? You’re still a little boy and we don’t want you to hurt yourself,” Suga explained, eyes and voice firm, and took the words right out of Hajime’s mouth. “We love you a whole lot, your daddy especially, so you have to take breaks. Okay?”

Tooru nodded, looking at his father. “I promise to take breaks.”

Hajime smiled. “All right.”

**

When the afternoon waned into twilight, Hajime and Tooru entered the Tokyo gym, and thanks to Hinata and Kageyama, they reserved it for next couple of hours so they could practice uninterrupted. (“Being on the national team has its perks!” Hinata laughed.) And just like Hajime had predicted, Bokuto and Kuroo were absolutely psyched that Tooru wanted to learn how to play volleyball. So psyched in fact, that the minute Hajime and Tooru had walked through the gym doors, Bokuto swept Tooru up off the floor and ran around the court with him making airplane noises, and the boy’s laughter resonated throughout the gym.

“I still can’t believe how big he’s gotten.”

Hajime looked to his right and Daichi was smiling at him. He returned it. “You and me both. Pretty soon he’s gonna be in elementary school and I’m gonna have a hard time wrapping my head around it.”

“You’re getting old, that’s why,” came a voice from the doorway, making both Hajime and Daichi turn.

Kuroo and Suga stood there, Suga waving while Kuroo donned a shit-eating grin. The tension between the two seemed to have eased significantly, as if it wasn’t there in the first place, and Hajime looked at Suga, whose eyes were clear and cheeks were dry of tears. Suga nodded, and that’s when Hajime knew he’d be okay.

Kuroo placed his hand on Suga’s shoulder, said something that Hajime couldn’t really hear but Suga smiled, and Kuroo joined Bokuto on the court. “Where’s my favorite little munchkin?” he called out.

Tooru let out a playful shriek and took off running towards Akaashi, hiding behind his legs.

“Oh no!” Bokuto gasped dramatically. “Tooru has used his secret weapon – the old ‘Hiding Behind Akaashi’ tactic! But it won’t work for long because I’ve got Kuroo on my side!”

“That’s right!” Kuroo smirked.

Akaashi, as usual, wasn’t even fazed by Kuroo’s and Bokuto’s antics and instead placed his hand on Tooru’s head. The boy clung tight to Akaashi’s shorts, giggling as Bokuto approached him from the side. He took off running as soon as Bokuto grabbed Akaashi’s waist.

Tooru, as fast as he was for his age, didn’t stand a chance against Kuroo’s long legs and arms and was effortlessly swooped off his feet and into Kuroo’s hold and tickled mercilessly.

“Uncle Kou!” Tooru cried out in laughter. “Uncle Kou, help me!”

“I’m coming to save you, Tooru-chan!” Suga ran over but only tickled the boy while Kuroo held him.

Bokuto, while still clinging to Akaashi’s waist, thought it would be a good idea to do the same. However, that only ended with Akaashi’s eyes widening in surprise before dealing a solid whack to his lover’s head.

Bokuto rubbed his head as everyone laughed. “Okay, I deserved that.”

“Are Kageyama and Hinata coming?” Hajime asked to no one in particular.

“They should be here in a little bit is what Suga said,” Daichi answered. “Apparently, they had some exigent business to take care of – whatever that means.”

“Daddy! Dai-chan!” Tooru laughed, still at Kuroo’s and Suga’s mercy. “Help me, please!”

Daichi smiled. “I think your son’s in trouble.” He walked over with Hajime not very far behind and caught Tooru the moment Kuroo and Suga freed him from their arms.

“You may have gotten away this time, but next time you won’t escape!” Kuroo grinned.

Tooru giggled and clung to Daichi. “I have Daddy and Dai-chan to protect me! You won’t win, Tetsu-chan!”

Kuroo snickered. “We’ll see about that, munchkin.”

“We’ll win, won’t we, Tooru?” Daichi asked.

“That’s right!”

Hajime watched as Daichi held his son, his pride and joy, and noticed how bright Tooru’s eyes were as he talked to Daichi, how wide his smile was. How utterly comfortable he was. Something that he absolutely wanted if he ever thought about introducing Tooru to anyone he’d be romantically involved with.

Tooru held out his arms when he saw Hajime, and the man happily took him. 

“Daddy, are you gonna help me and Dai-chan win against Uncle Kou, Tetsu-chan, and Uncle Boku?” the boy asked.

Hajime smiled. “You know I will.”

“Keiji, you’re on my side, right?” Bokuto looked back at the other man.

“Definitely not,” Akaashi said without even batting an eye.

“Mean!”

The gym doors opened, drawing the attention of everyone, and there stood Kageyama and Hinata, dressed and raring to go.

“All right!” Hinata shouted. “Who’s ready to play some volleyball?”

“I am!” Tooru raised his hand.

Tooru started out by learning receives with Kuroo and Daichi. Everyone agreed that they were the best receivers present and could definitely help in explaining the fundamentals to Tooru. Suga and Akaashi supplied light tosses to the boy who actively went after them, and while he didn’t get every single one, he did manage to receive a few. And that was enough to bring a smile to his face.

“Daddy, did you see that?” Tooru jumped up and down. “I received it! I did it!”

Hajime ruffled the boy’s hair. “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

“You did awesome, little man!” Kuroo gave him a high-five after the 15 minutes were up. “You’re gonna be an awesome receiver one day!”

“That’s right.” Daichi smiled. “Keep practicing and you’ll be an expert.”

Tooru grinned, hands clutched around his water bottle. “Thank you!”

Suga, Akaashi, and Kageyama worked with Tooru on setting, just in case that he ever needed to set during a game in the future. At first, Tooru had been very confused.

“Why do I need to learn how to set?” he asked. “I wanna be a wing spiker.”

“Because you never know what might happen during a game,” Suga said.

“If your setter touches the ball first, then they can no longer set,” Akaashi added. “So it’s important that there are other players who can set so you can still attack.”

Tooru nodded. “Okay!”

Tooru did his best to hold his hands up just as Akaashi and Suga had showed him, but when the ball bounced on his head instead of landing in his palms like he had wanted, he pouted a bit before running after the ball and trying one more time. And the sheer amount of intensity and determination on Tooru’s face to at least get one successful toss reminded everyone of Hajime. Without a doubt.

“He sure is stubborn,” Kuroo told Hajime during the break, watching Tooru cling to Daichi’s back as he talked animatedly with Bokuto and Hinata. “I wonder where he gets that from.”

Hajime smirked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Daddy!” Tooru called, running over and latched onto Hajime’s leg. “Will you show me how to do a spike? Dai-chan and Uncle Kou say I should learn from you!”

“I’ll show you how!” Bokuto and Hinata chimed in and were dragged away to the bleachers by Akaashi and Kageyama respectively.

“Sure thing,” Hajime smiled. He turned to Suga. “Do you mind giving me a toss?”

“Not at all.” Suga stood up. “Kuroo, will you throw the ball from the sidelines?”

Kuroo picked up a ball and moved to the side of the net. “Got it.”

Tooru went back to Daichi’s side, unable to stand still as he watched his father take position on the left side of the court. Hinata had already set up an empty water bottle on the other side of the net so Hajime had something to aim for.

“Ready?” Suga asked.

Hajime nodded.

Kuroo threw up the ball, and Suga watched it with expert eyes, hands at the ready as it arced and spun towards him. His fingertips touched it for a brief moment before sending it in Hajime’s direction.

“Haji!” he said.

And Hajime was on the move, his body going through the motions as if his last college game was yesterday, and he jumped. His hand met perfectly with the ball and he slammed it down with everything he had, hitting the water bottle and sending it flying.

**

Tooru’s eyes widened as he watched his father land gracefully.

So _that_ was an ace.

His father was the ace of his volleyball team, and now Tooru could see why. He was strong and hit that tiny water bottle like it was nothing! It was just like Shou-chan had said!

Tooru ran over to his father, eyes sparkling and bounding with energy. “That was so awesome!” he said. “It was like _‘gwah!’_ and _‘bam!’_ and I can’t wait to do that!” He hugged his father’s leg. “You’re the coolest daddy ever!”

His father smiled at him and stroked his head. “Thank you, Tooru.”

**

“Nice kill!” Suga said.

“Looks like someone hasn’t lost their touch.” Kuroo smirked. “Kinda sad that I didn’t get a chance to try and receive those in high school.”

“Not like you’d be able to get it anyway,” Hajime said nonchalantly.

Kuroo’s smirk only broadened. “Do I hear a challenge, Papa Bear?”

Hajime raised an eyebrow, expression blank but his eyes spoke volumes. “Do you?”

“I say we have a practice match after we’re all done here,” Bokuto chimed in. “I’d like to see what more than a couple of years of downtime has done to you.”

“Koutarou, your ankle,” Akaashi said.

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” Bokuto grinned. “It’s long since healed. This’ll be a piece of cake.”

They continued teaching Tooru afterwards, and Bokuto, Hinata and Hajime took turns in giving Tooru soft bounce passes to give the boy a chance to hit it. Hajime guided Tooru’s arm, showing him how to how to move so he doesn’t risk hurting himself. Tooru nodded, taking everything in.

Tooru cheered when his hand finally connected with one, running over to hug his father. “I did it! I did it!”

“That’s my boy.” Hajime hugged him back. “You’re gonna be an awesome ace.”

Tooru grinned. “Yeah!”

They were just finishing up and Bokuto started talking about the practice match between them, to which Hinata passionately jumped in on, when Tooru grabbed a volleyball and walked over to Kageyama. He remembered he had seen Kageyama do an amazing serve during the game yesterday. His father had explained that it was called a “jump serve”.

And he wanted to learn it, too.

He tugged on the hem of Kageyama’s shirt to get the man’s attention. “Tobio-chan?”

Kageyama looked down at him, slightly raising his eyebrow. “Um… yes?”

“Please teach me how to do a jump serve!” Tooru said.

Kageyama froze the moment those words left the boy’s mouth, and the gym was so quiet they could hear a pin drop. All eyes, figuratively and literally were on Kageyama in that moment, as they waited for him to answer the child’s request.

Once again, Hajime was immediately reminded of all the times that Kageyama had asked Oikawa to teach him how to do a jump serve and how all of those times Oikawa had turned him down. And how Oikawa had almost hit Kageyama the last time he was asked.

And Hajime couldn’t help if that request set him a little on edge.

The confidence died down a bit in Tooru’s eyes when he had yet to receive answer. He was more hesitant now and his fingers curled around the volleyball tighter. “K-Kageyama-san?”

That seemed to have snapped the setter out of it for he ran a hand through his hair, looking off to the side. “Call me Tobio,” he said, an embarrassed flush to his cheeks. “And yes – I’ll teach you.”

Tooru brightened almost immediately. “Thank you so much!” He took Kageyama’s hand and pulled him off to the side so he could learn.

Hajime watched as Kageyama explained it to him, and the usual stiffness in Kageyama’s words and bones seemed to melt away as Tooru nodded along to show he was listening. His dark blue eyes glistened and he even cracked a smile.

“Give it a shot.” Kageyama handed the ball to Tooru.

The boy followed the directions Kageyama had given him, but ultimately missed. He pouted a bit and his shoulders slumped. “Aww…”

“H-Hey, don’t get discouraged,” Kageyama said. “This is your first try. It’s a lot harder than it looks.” He picked up another nearby volleyball. “Give it another try.”

“Right!” Tooru pushed his glasses back up further on his face, looking more determined.

“Kid’s gonna be a force to be reckoned with one day if we’re all teaching him,” Bokuto commented with a smirk. “Those future teams better watch out or they’ll get blown out of the water.”

And everyone couldn’t help but agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to Beast's new song "Ribbon" on repeat the entire time I wrote this thing. It's beautiful and amazing and if any of you are K-Pop lovers, you should understand my feels. And even if you don't listen to K-Pop, go listen to it because it's beautiful and deserves all the love. Cry with me, friends.


	11. the same as

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kids can be cruel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apparently have no self-control and like to neglect responsibilities for the sake of volleydorks. Forgive me.

“Do you think we can go to the gym after school today, Daddy?”

“I think Kageyama and Hinata’s team has practice today, so probably not. We can go to the park instead if you want.”

Tooru skipped along the sidewalk, holding onto his father’s hand. “Yeah, I like that idea!”

He’d had a lot of fun last night learning how to play volleyball and watching his daddy and friends play in what his Uncle Kou had called a “practice match.” They weren’t competing for anything, just having fun. (Uncle Boku and Tetsu-chan said they would win “bragging rights” but he didn’t really understand what that meant.) It was his daddy, Tetsu-chan, Shou-chan, and Akaa-chan on one team, and Dai-chan, Uncle Kou, Tobio-chan, and Uncle Boku on another team and Tooru wasn’t sure who to cheer for so he cheered for both.

His daddy’s team won and he even got to help keep score. He was very proud of that.

He didn’t want to go home and would’ve played all night if he could, but everyone promised that they’d meet up again and all practice together. And they never went back on a promise. Tooru just hoped that time would be soon. He wanted it to be today.

They arrived at the school and his father knelt down in front of him, holding out Tooru’s volleyball. Ennoshita-sensei and Azumane-sensei had said that they could bring something from home that they loved and present it to the class. Tooru, naturally, had chosen the brand new volleyball his father had bought him.

He was so excited! He’d finally get to show everyone what a cool sport he was going to play!

“Don’t lose it, okay?” his father said. “Have fun.” He smiled and kissed Tooru’s forehead. “Love you.”

“I won’t!” Tooru held onto it. “Bye, Daddy! Love you, too!”

He ran inside with the other children and switched to his school shoes, putting his backpack in his cubby next to his street shoes.

“Hi, Tooru-kun!”

He looked over and smiled. “Hi, Harumi!”

Nakano Harumi was a girl a few months younger than him and was always trying to get Tooru to play “house” with her. He didn’t really understand it the concept of that game when she explained it. Why would they want to pretend to be parents when they were still little kids? It didn’t make any sense. But Tooru liked her all the same. She was nice.

“What’d you bring for show-and-tell?” she chirped, her brown pigtails bouncing. She held out a small box. “I brought my rock collection!” She opened it and held out a shiny purple one. “Neat, huh?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty cool!” Tooru said. “I like the green one!”

“What’d you bring?” she asked.

Tooru showed her his most prized possession, next to ‘Godzilla’ of course. “This! It’s the volleyball my daddy bought for me!”

“Cool!” she said. “I like the colors – blue and yellow!”

“That’s a stupid thing to bring,” came a voice from behind them.

Tooru spun on his heel and scowled. “Shut up, Hikaru! My daddy bought me this so it’s probably way cooler than yours!” How dare he insult one of Tooru’s most important things ever? 

Okumura Hikaru scoffed and crossed his arms. “I didn’t bring anything because show-and-tell is for babies. And I am not a baby.”

Harumi frowned, but there were evident tears in her eyes. “Hikaru-kun, that’s not very nice.”

“Don’t be a baby, Harumi,” Hikaru said. 

She sniffled. “I-I’m not.”

“You’re gonna cry like a baby!”

She clutched her box to her chest. “N-No, I’m not.”

“Yes you are! You big –”

Tooru stood in front of her, looking Hikaru dead in the eye even though the other boy was much taller than him. “Leave her alone, Hikaru! She didn’t do anything to you!”

Hikaru just moved past them.

Tooru turned to Harumi, patting her head. “Are you okay?”

She sniffed, wiping her eyes. “Y-Yes. Thank you, Tooru-kun.”

He took her hand and smiled. “Let’s go sit down!”

They took their respective seats just as Ennoshita-sensei and Azumane-sensei came inside. They were probably busy setting up the activity they were going to do outside after lunch. And Tooru wasn’t going to let what Hikaru said earlier get him down. He was excited about today.

**

“How was your day?” Hajime asked, holding Tooru’s hand as they made their way home.

“It was a lot of fun!” Tooru said. “And you know what? I just found out something amazing!”

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

“Ennoshita-sensei and Azumane-sensei used to play volleyball, too!” Tooru declared. “And guess what? Azumane-sensei used to be the ace! And Ennoshita-sensei used to be a captain! They played on the same team!”

Hajime smiled as Tooru went on about his day at school. He remembered Ennoshita, perhaps not as clearly as Azumane, but he remembered the two Karasuno players all the same. Of course, meeting them again off the volleyball court was something that Hajime had never expected – and them being Tooru’s teachers, no less – so it was definitely a surprise, even if things were a little awkward at first.

“And then – and then Azumane-sensei let me show how to do a receive!” Tooru grinned. “Everyone thought it was so cool! Except for Hikaru. He got mad because I’m better than him at something and then I told him that some people are better at things than others – like you told me. I don’t think it helped.”

Hajime hoped that this little rivalry Tooru had going on with this boy in his class would stay as just a friendly competition and not escalate. It was good to have someone in life that pushed you to do your best. But they were four and five-year-olds. And kids could be cruel.

Hajime smiled. “So you had a good day?”

“Uh-huh!” Tooru nodded. Then asked, “Daddy, what team did you play on in high school?”

“Aoba Jousai,” Hajime answered, opening the front door and letting Tooru in.

Tooru slipped off his shoes and plopped on the couch, volleyball in his hands. “Aww, you didn’t play on the same team? Azumane-sensei and Ennoshita-sensei played on Karu… Kare…”

“Karasuno?” Hajime placed his shoes next to Tooru’s.

“Yes! That one!” Tooru said. “How did you know?”

“I played against them.” Hajime sat on the couch next to the boy, glad to be off his feet, even if it was for a minute. “In fact, Suga and Sawamura played on the same team as your teachers. Kageyama and Hinata, too.”

“Really?” Tooru’s eyes widened at this new piece of information like he couldn’t believe it. His father had gone up against _all_ of them? Unthinkable! Well, he _was_ the ace so it wasn’t really that hard to wrap his head around. But still – they must have been really tough!

Hajime nodded. “Mhm.”

“You played against all of them? How did you win?”

“Well I wasn’t alone. I had my teammates to help out,” Hajime said. “And with the help of my teammates, we managed to win the first time.”

Tooru seemed to ponder Hajime’s words before looking back at his father. “Teamwork is very important. That’s what Azumane-sensei said when we had to build a house out of blocks today! And I had to help Yuri-chan feed the bunny! Is that teamwork?”

“That’s exactly it.” Hajime smiled. “You helped your classmates reach a common goal so no one had to do it alone. The same thing goes for volleyball.”

Tooru blinked.

“You have six players on the court who all help each other out by using their skills to win. That’s teamwork.” Hajime ruffled the boy’s hair.

Tooru nodded and grinned. “I think I get it!” Then he slumped a bit. “I just wish I got to see you play against Uncle Kou and everyone else. It would’ve been so cool.”

Hajime thought about this for a moment and then snapped his fingers. He smiled. “Actually, I have a way you can.” He moved off the couch and went down the hall, leaving a very confused Tooru behind.

Hajime started rummaging through the hall closet, pulling out a small box that had some of Oikawa’s belongings and grabbing three DVDs. He made sure those were the right ones before returning to the living area and slipping one into the DVD player. He sat down again next to Tooru again and clicked on the TV with the remote.

Tooru leaned into his side, gazing up at his father with curious eyes. “What’re we watching, Daddy?”

Hajime smiled. “You’ll see.”

Tooru turned his attention back to the television, and when the footage showed an aerial view of a court with a telltale volleyball match about to start, he couldn’t help the small gasp that left him. The two teams were in starkly different colors – one in orange and black and the other in white and blue – and Tooru’s eyes flew across the screen. The aerial view suddenly switched to one closer up.

He pointed to the right corner of the screen and looked at Hajime. “Daddy, is that you?”

“Sure is, kiddo.”

Tooru brought his legs up to his chest, the volleyball tucked in between, and perched his arms atop his knees as he focused on the game.

“There’s Dai-chan!” He pointed to number one on Karasuno. “There’s Azumane-sensei and Ennoshita-sensei… and there’s Shou-chan and Tobio-chan!” He gasped. “There’s Uncle Kou! Whoa, his hair is so different!”

Hajime laughed quietly, thoroughly amused as his son watched the TV with fervent eyes.

The game rolled on, and Hajime caught Tooru’s head tilt when he saw the setter on his father’s team spike the ball even though Hajime and another player went up for the toss. Hajime figured that the boy would be confused by that. As far as he knew, setters were, well, supposed to _set._ Not spike. But instead of asking what had happened, Tooru just kind of stared at the screen for a few moments.

The crowd erupted in cheers.

“Daddy,” Tooru started, “who was that?”

“Who?”

“Number one on your team.” He pointed. “That guy.”

Hajime paused, if only for a second. “That’s my best friend.”

There was a look on Tooru’s face that Hajime couldn’t quite read. “Have I met him before?” 

“No, buddy, you haven’t,” Hajime said.

“How come? Isn’t he your best friend?” Then it seemed like he had some sort of revelation. “Did you two have a fight? Sometimes I don’t talk to my friends after we fight.”

How in the _hell_ was Hajime supposed to approach this? Was it too soon for Tooru to learn about death? Should he have already addressed the concept a long time ago? Should he beat around the bush with this or should he be straightforward and honest? He had to make a decision and he had to make it fast because Tooru was looking at him now and probably wondering why he hasn’t answered.

“He, uh, he passed away before you were born,” Hajime said.

Tooru turned back to the TV, face scrunched up in befuddlement. “But… he’s not old. I thought only old people pass away.”

“Not all the time, son.” Hajime sighed. “It’s sad, but it happens.”

Tooru stared at his father now, and it was one of those stares that held more wisdom than any four-year-old probably should. “Do you miss him?”

Hajime nodded. “Yeah, I miss him a lot.”

“Does it make you sad?”

“Yes, it does.”

Tooru seemed to be contemplating something and finally spoke after a few terse moments. “It’s okay, Daddy. You and Uncle Kou don’t have to be sad anymore. He’s happy now, so he wants you to be happy, too.”

Wait.

Did Hajime hear what he thought he just heard?

“…what?” Hajime breathed. “How do you know that?”

Tooru shrugged. “I dunno. I just have a feeling. So, try not to be sad anymore, okay?” He sat on his knees now, his entire body facing his father as he stretched out his arms and wiggled his fingers. “Negativity,” he threw his arms up, “begone!”

And although Hajime laughed and hugged his son, he had to admit he was still a little shaken, despite the almost overwhelming comfort that had settled over his shoulders.

Oikawa wanted them to be happy?

A smile tugged at the corners of Hajime’s lips.

_We’re getting there, Shittykawa. We’re getting there._

They continued watching the rest of the volleyball game – well, _games_ because Tooru was just so interested in finding out how the other matches turned out. He was confused about who to cheer for in both Karasuno versus Aoba Jousai games (“I can’t choose just one side! That’s not fair!” he had said.), and he almost started crying when the camera caught how upset Hajime was after they lost the second time. Even though he couldn’t see his father’s tears on the videotape, he could feel the sadness and frustration by simply seeing the slumped shoulders.

He had hugged Hajime tight. “You’re the best ace ever, Daddy!”

But he perked up again when they watched the Aoba Jousai versus Datekou match, jumping up and down when he saw Hajime deliver a spike right through the blocker’s arms, announcing that he’d do that one day when he was big enough. He was still raving about it over ramen at dinner, and Hajime just listened, glad that his son was so excited about a sport.

After a bath, Tooru was in his pajamas and ready for bed, hiding under the covers when he heard his bedroom door open and tried to stifle his giggles when he could hear his father shuffling around the room.

Hajime could see the obvious lump under the blankets and smiled. “Huh. I could’ve sworn that there was a little boy named Iwaizumi Tooru in here. He’s supposed to be getting ready for bed but he’s disappeared! I wonder where he could be.” Hajime opened the closet door. “Is he in here?”

There was another giggle.

“Hmm. Nothing.” Hajime shut the door. “I wonder where Tooru went.” He walked about the room for a moment and then sat down on the edge of the bed. He pretended to be stumped. “What am I gonna do if I can’t find Tooru? And to think I was going to buy him milk bread after school tomorrow.” He sighed. “Guess I’ll just have to eat it all by myself…”

“Here I am!” Tooru burst from the covers.

Hajime gasped. “Hey, where’d you come from?”

“I was hiding and you didn’t see me!” Tooru grinned, triumphant, and hugged his father. “I was hiding under the covers the whole time and you didn’t know I was there!”

Hajime smiled, stroking Tooru’s unruly locks of hair. “I guess that means you’re just really awesome at hide-and-seek, huh?”

“The best!” Tooru declared.

Hajime chuckled, holding the boy for a few minutes, and felt him steadily unwind. He placed his son back on the bed, smiling fondly when Tooru yawned. “Looks like someone’s a lot more tired than they thought.”

Tooru shook his head, but it was clear that he was fighting to stay awake. “Nu-uh…” He yawned again. “I’m not tired…”

Hajime brushed back some strands of Tooru’s hair and kissed his forehead. “Get some sleep, okay?”

This time, Tooru didn’t argue and his eyes almost immediately slid shut, and Hajime clicked on the nightlight before leaving the room.

He pulled out his phone.

_“Hello?”_

“Hey, Kou. You’re never gonna believe what Tooru just told me.”

**

Tooru was almost as excited about today as he was yesterday.

This morning, Azumane-sensei and Ennoshita-sensei had announced that they were having Family Day on Friday so they would be spending the next two days making gifts and other stuff. They would have to draw a picture of their family and give a small speech about whoever they choose to talk about.

Tooru had drawn himself and his father plenty of times so this would be a piece of cake! Then he remembered his Uncle Kou and Tetsu-chan, and that made him think of Dai-chan, Uncle Boku, and Akaa-chan. He even thought about Tobio-chan and Shou-chan. 

He nodded to himself. He’d draw them, too! With volleyballs! And he got to work.

He had just finished coloring himself and his daddy when Hikaru sauntered over, peeking over his shoulder. Tooru didn’t pay him much mind and just continued coloring, his tongue sticking out in concentration.

“Who’s that?” Hikaru pointed to the drawing of Hajime.

“That’s my daddy,” Tooru answered, picking up a gray crayon to color in his Uncle Kou’s hair. 

He didn’t have time to be dillydallying. He wanted to finish this so he could start making gifts for everyone else! What would he make them? Who would he talk about? He definitely wanted to talk about his daddy, but he also wanted to talk about everyone else in the picture. They were always so nice to him and helped him out a whole bunch with volleyball. He had to tell people about that!

“How come you don’t look like him?”

 _That,_ however, made Tooru stop. “Huh?”

“You don’t really look like him,” Hikaru said.

Tooru tilted his head, perplexed. “What do you mean? I do look like him.”

“Not really.” Hikaru then pointed to the drawing. “Look – your hair is different. So are your eyes. I’ve seen him, too. You don’t look like him.”

Tooru clutched onto the crayon in his hand. “No, I do! I do look like him!” He turned his attention back to the task at hand, intending to finish coloring – stupid Hikaru didn’t know what he was talking about – but stopped short.

Wavy, light brown hair and dark, spiky hair.

Dark brown eyes and dark green eyes.

Come to think of it… he didn’t look like anyone who he considered his family. His eyes widened and his heart started to race. He had to find something – _anything_ – that was the same between him and his father. But then he remembered that he always picked up a different color anytime he was drawing the two of them. Two shades of brown. Two very different colors for the eyes.

“Are you adopted?” Hikaru asked.

Tooru whipped around to face him. His mouth felt terribly dry. “What’s that mean?”

“It means that your real parents didn’t want you and gave you to someone else,” Hikaru explained. “Maybe Hajime-san felt bad for you because your real parents didn’t want you so he adopted you.”

“Shut up!” Tooru got to his feet. “You’re wrong! He’s my real daddy! And the only one I’ve ever had!”

“Then how come you don’t look like him?” Hikaru challenged. “We all look like our parents. How come you don’t? You’re different.”

“Liar!”

“You’re adopted!”

_“Shut up!”_

Ennoshita-sensei came over at that moment and knelt down beside the two boys. “Hey, guys. What’s going on over here?”

“We were talking about Tooru’s picture and I was only saying how he doesn’t look like his dad,” Hikaru said.

Tooru’s heart pounded in his chest.

“Hikaru-chan, that’s not a very nice thing to say,” Ennoshita-sensei chided.

“But it’s true!” Hikaru insisted.

Tooru clenched his fists and tears pricked his eyes.

“Apologize to Tooru-chan. Right now.”

But Hikaru didn’t get the chance to before Tooru swung at him.

**

“Hey, Iwaizumi!” Futakuchi called out. “You’ve got a phone call for you on line one!” 

“All right,” Hajime said, picking up the nearest phone. “This is Iwaizumi.” His eyes widened as he listened to the person on the other end of the line. _“What?_ Okay, I’ll be right there. Thank you.” He hung up and started to grab his things.

Futakuchi peeked around the corner. “Hey, is everything all right?”

“It’s Tooru,” Hajime said. “He got into some trouble at school so I’ve gotta go pick him up.”

Futakuchi nodded. “I’ll tell the boss man what’s up.”

“You’re the best, thanks.” And Hajime was out the door.

**

Tooru sat out in the courtyard right outside the principal’s office, alone, and in front of the koi pond that he remembered going to with his classmates when they were learning about aquatic life in class. He watched the fish, taking note of their vibrant colors, and how they all seemed to get along. They didn’t pick on each other because they were different.

Azumane-sensei told him that his father was coming. The father that Hikaru claimed that wasn’t really his father because they didn’t look alike. He didn’t mean to almost hit Hikaru. Ennoshita-sensei had caught his hand and escorted them both to the principal’s office. He’d never hit anyone in his entire life. But he was just _so angry._ And he was afraid. He was afraid of Hikaru being _right._

He saw his reflection in the rippling surface and took off his glasses. He didn’t want to see it. He hated looking at it. He hated being _different._ He slammed his hands down in the water, scaring the koi but he didn’t really care. Why? Was he so different? _Why?_

Some mud flew up and landed in his hair and on his face. He brought his hand to his face to wipe it off, but then he paused when he saw his reflection again. His hair… it looked darker. Like his father’s. He looked like his daddy. So he grabbed handfuls of mud and started running it through his hair, spiking it in every direction he possibly could think of. He’d show Hikaru just how much he and his father were the same. 

He’d show that he wasn’t adopted.

“Tooru.”

The boy turned around, causing some wet mud to fly, coming face to face with Hajime.

“What’re you doing?” his father asked.

Tooru felt tears prick his eyes again, not bothering to wipe them away with the wet mud dripping from his hair and into his face. “Why do I look different from you, Daddy?”

Hajime sat next to him. “Because you’re covered in mud, silly.” He started wiping Tooru’s face and tried picking clumps of mud from his hair.

“No – Hikaru said that –” he was cut off when his father wiped mud near his mouth. “Hikaru said that I’m not really your son.”

Hajime stopped.

The tears were dangerously close to spilling now. “H-He said because we don’t look alike, I’m not really your son. And you’re not my dad.” He sniffled.

“Tooru…”

He could feel the anger boiling in him again, the anger at Hikaru. The anger at himself as he looked into the eyes of a man that were so different from his own. “We’re nothing alike! Look at me!”

His father sighed, green eyes soft. “I am, Tooru. And do you know what I see? I see two eyes like mine. And a nose somewhere…” He wiped some mud off and poked Tooru’s nose. “Here it is! And two ears.” He tickled behind Tooru’s ears, earning a laugh from the boy. “Let’s see… what else?”

Tooru looked himself over and saw another similarity. “Two hands!” He held up his hands.

Hajime smiled and put his hands up to Tooru’s. “That’s right.”

And as Tooru felt himself beginning to smile, he could feel it fading away the longer he stared at their hands. His hands were so much smaller than his father’s… and paler. He drew his hands back stared at his palms. Maybe… maybe they really were different.

And there was only one question that came to mind.

“Daddy… am I adopted?”

His father was quiet, so he looked up at him. “Please tell me I’m not.” Tooru’s voice broke and he was unable to stop his tears now, clinging to his father who held him tightly. “Please tell me I’m your son… _please.”_ He wanted this all to be a lie, a bad dream. He just wanted to go home and wish that he had never seen the differences. “Please tell me – please.”

“Tooru,” Hajime began, stroking his still muddy hair, “I’m not going to lie to you because that’ll only hurt you more in the end.”

And now Tooru wished he had never asked.

“You are adopted.”

Tooru fisted his hands in his father’s shirt, trembling with the sobs that he so desperately wanted to release. He wasn’t… he wasn’t his daddy’s son. He wasn’t anyone’s son. He didn’t know anyone else. Hikaru was right and now he had no one and –

“But you know what?” Hajime continued. “Just because you’re adopted, it doesn’t make you any less my son.”

Tooru looked up at him, tears still running down his face. “Huh?”

His father wiped them away and smiled softly. “That’s right. You are _my_ son, and being adopted doesn’t change that. I love you as if you were my own flesh and blood and I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Tooru sniffled. “But Hikaru –”

“Don’t listen to what Hikaru said,” his father shook his head. “Being adopted doesn’t make us any less of a family. Some people – even kids – can’t see that. We don’t have to look the same to be a family. Do you think of Koushi as part of your family?”

He nodded. “Uh-huh.” Of course he thought of his Uncle Kou as family. He’d been there for as long as Tooru could remember!

“What about Daichi? Or Kuroo? Bokuto? Akaashi?”

Tooru nodded again.

“And we _are_ a family, even though we don’t look alike.”

They… they were a family. They didn’t look alike, but they were a _family._

“And I’m adopted, too,” Hajime said.

Tooru blinked. “You are? So Grandma and Grandpa aren’t…?”

Hajime plucked another clump of mud from Tooru’s hair. “That’s right. They’re not my birth parents, but I still love them as if they were. And they love me as if I was born from them. Just like I love you. And you know what else?”

“Huh?” Tooru asked.

“People say you look like me all the time.”

Tooru’s eyes widened. “Really?”

Hajime smiled. “Really.” 

Tooru hugged his father, placing his head against Hajime’s chest, listening to the heart that beat in sync with his own. They were exactly the same.

He was Iwaizumi Tooru, son of Iwaizumi Hajime.

And nothing – _no one_ – would be able to change that.

**

Hajime spent the rest of the day with Tooru at home because while the boy wouldn’t admit it aloud, all he wanted to do was be held and comforted. When he had been told over the phone that Tooru almost hit another student in his class, he knew that it was serious. Tooru was such a gentle and easy child, kind to everyone he met, even if he was a little shy at first. It didn’t make any sense.

But when he arrived at the school, and the situation was revealed, all he heard was white noise coming from Hikaru’s mother as she tried to explain that life at home wasn’t easy since the boy’s father had just left. And while Hajime understood all that, it didn’t excuse Hikaru picking on Tooru or the other kids.

So they sat on the couch for the rest of the day watching Hajime’s old volleyball games, after Tooru had taken a much needed bath and eating udon for lunch – one of Tooru’s favorite foods. And now, Tooru sat in Hajime’s lap with no intention of moving, munching on milk bread and laughing a bit after the setter for Datekou tossed with too much force and their coach caught it on the bench.

“He’s funny,” Tooru said as he watched the tall setter with the funny chicken hair apologize profusely to his teammates.

Hajime smiled. “Yeah, he is.”

On the tape, Oikawa held up for the toss, calling out, _“Iwa-chan!”_

Tooru finished the last of his milk bread. “He calls you that a lot.”

“That’s been my nickname since we were kids,” Hajime said.

Tooru stared at the screen. “Iwa-chan…” he mumbled and then smiled as he watched high school Hajime spike the ball. “I like it.”

“I did, too, kiddo.”

“What’s his name?” Tooru asked. “Your best friend?”

Hajime paused for a moment. “Oikawa,” he said, “Tooru.”

Tooru sat up to look at him. “Like me?”

“Exactly like you.”

Tooru nodded, seemingly content with that answer. “Do you think he would’ve liked me, Daddy?”

Hajime smiled. “He would’ve loved you.”

And Tooru smiled.

**

His eyes snapped open as there was a loud roar overhead. It made the windows rattle and the house shake as bursts of light flashed outside his window, illuminating the torrential downpour streaking along the window panes.

Tooru sat up, clutching onto ‘Godzilla’ tighter. He let out a shaky breath. “It’s just rain… it’s just rain.”

Another clap of thunder rolled along, this one much louder than the last, and that made him jump out of bed – he almost tripped over his blankets in the process – and ran out of his room. He didn’t care that the living room was dark and that he was afraid of it. He was more afraid of the thunder, of its suddenness, of its ability to rock him to his very core.

He scrambled into his father’s room and onto the bed, crawling under the covers and scurrying along until he found the warmth and safety he so desperately wanted. He clung to Hajime, burying his face in his father’s shoulder and letting out soft whimpers.

He could feel his father’s arm wrap around him, keeping him close.

“I’ve got you, Tooru,” he heard him say. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

And Tooru believed every word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toot toot! All aboard the angst train!
> 
> And for those who may have realized: yes, I did use a scene from Disney's Tarzan mainly because I identified with it so much when I was growing up. I clearly remember being asked if I was adopted because my mother is a different race than I am and it turned my entire world upside down since it made me see the differences between me and my family.
> 
> Anyway, this angst train is leaving the station and headed for our next destination! I'm not done with you guys just yet ;)


	12. Blue Skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru starts asking the real questions.

It all started with a cough.

As summer faded into fall, it brought with it the yearly flu and cold season. There would be a few empty seats in the classrooms but nothing that brought alarm. Tooru was a little sad that Harumi wasn’t in class on Friday so he made her a get-well card and Hajime took him by her house so he could give it to her. Harumi’s mother had been very appreciative, hugged Tooru, and said she’d give Harumi the card and that Harumi would make a speedy recovery.

Of course, that’d been almost a week ago.

And Harumi’s seat was still empty.

Tooru pouted as he helped his classmates clean up at the end of the day. He missed her. When would she be back?

“What’s the matter, Tooru?” a boy named Kousuke asked.

Yukimura Kousuke was a bubbly four-year-old that immediately took a liking to Tooru on their first day of school. He was only a couple of months younger than Tooru, their birthdays were exactly two months apart in fact, and Tooru easily considered Kousuke his best friend. Kousuke liked volleyball too, and they made a promise to play together when they got to junior high – with Kousuke as the setter and Tooru as the wing spiker. The ace, to be more specific. Not to mention that Kousuke disliked Hikaru as much as Tooru did.

“I miss Harumi,” Tooru said.

“She’s sick, remember?”

“I know.” Tooru threw away leftover pieces of paper from arts and crafts. “I just miss her.”

“Azumane-sensei, when’s Harumi coming back?” Kousuke asked.

“Um, well,” Asahi started, “her mom says she’s still sick at home but she should be better soon. Don’t worry, okay?” He smiled.

Tooru and Kousuke nodded.

“Tooru-chan,” Ennoshita called.

The boy turned, expecting to see his father, but was surprised to see Daichi instead. He ran over and immediately jumped into Daichi’s arms.

“Dai-chan!” he grinned.

Daichi smiled. “Hey.”

“Where’s Daddy?” Tooru asked. It wasn’t that he wasn’t excited to see Daichi. He was very excited to see to see him! He loved Daichi! He just thought his father would be picking him up like he always did.

“He’s working a little late today so I came to get you,” Daichi said.

“Okay.” Tooru nodded and changed into his street shoes and grabbed his backpack. He took Daichi’s hand and waved. “Bye, Ennoshita-sensei! Bye, Azumane-sensei! Bye, Kousuke!”

Ennoshita smiled and waved while Asahi attempted to do the same from his seat on the floor as two rowdy kids climbed on his back.

Kousuke grinned. “Bye, Tooru! See you Monday!”

“It was great seeing you two again.” Daichi smiled. “Take care of yourselves, okay?”

“You know us,” Ennoshita said.

“Yeah, that’s why I worry,” Daichi waved to Ennoshita before leaving. “Did you have a good day, Tooru?” he asked on the way to his apartment.

“Uh-huh!” Tooru said, humming a bit. “We learned about our names today! Ennoshita-sensei said my name means – um – ‘to go through’. I’m not really sure what that means but my daddy said that his best friend had the same name as me so that’s pretty cool.” He kicked his little legs back and forth. “What’s your name mean, Dai-chan?”

“It means ‘earth’,” Daichi answered.

“That’s cool!” Tooru chirped. He paused for a moment, another question on his tongue. He had learned today that parents have names, too, as strange as it sounded. As far as he was concerned, his father was, well, his father. He knew him by no other name. “Dai-chan, my daddy has a name, right?”

Daichi nodded. “He sure does.”

“What is it?”

“Hajime.”

“Hajime,” Tooru said and it felt a little awkward, but he decided he liked the way it sounded. It sounded comforting. “What’s that mean?”

“First,” Daichi answered.

Tooru smiled. “First. That's pretty cool.” Kind of like how Hajime was his first dad – his _only_ dad.

When they arrived at Daichi’s apartment, Tooru was practically bouncing on his toes. He had never been to Daichi’s apartment before! He’d only been to his Uncle Kou’s and Uncle Boku’s and Akaa-chan’s house before and he was very curious to see Daichi’s. This was so exciting and new! He wondered if Daichi lived with anyone else. Maybe his parents! No, Daichi was a grown up and grown-ups usually lived by themselves. Maybe he had a little brother or sister!

Then another thought occurred to Tooru.

Maybe Daichi lived with someone he liked.

And now, for some reason that he couldn’t explain, Tooru hoped that Daichi lived alone.

When Daichi opened the front door, Tooru followed him, clinging to the hem of Daichi’s shirt in the event that someone he didn’t know was really there. But to his pleasant surprise, there was no one. Daichi’s apartment wasn’t very big – big enough for one person, at least – but it was nice.

“Wow!” Tooru slipped off his shoes and looked around. “This is where you live, Dai-chan?”

Daichi smiled. “Sure do.”

“By yourself?”

“Yup.”

Tooru smiled. “Cool.” He looked around, spotting a photo that caught his interest. 

It was a photo of the team that he had seen play against his father’s high school team. What was the name again? He scratched his head for a minute. Oh! Karasuno! He stared at it a bit longer. He immediately recognized Dai-chan, Uncle Kou (even with the different hair), Tobio-chan, and Shou-chan. He also recognized Ennoshita-sensei and Azumane-sensei. Then there was the tall blonde with glasses that played middle blocker on the national team.

 _“That’s Stingyshima!”_ he remembered Shou-chan saying when Tooru had called him Glasses-kun since he didn’t know the middle blocker’s name. _“He looks scary, but he’s not so bad once you get to know him.”_

He couldn’t wait to be a part of a volleyball team and play in actual games. It looked like a lot of fun.

Next to that photo, however, was a picture of his Uncle Kou, Dai-chan, and his dad. His Uncle Kou was making a peace sign and seemed to be holding up the camera, while Daichi and his father smiled. But his father was holding a baby in his arms! Who the heck was that?

“Dai-chan, who’s that?” Tooru pointed to the infant.

Daichi walked over to get a closer look and crouched down beside the boy. “That’s you, Tooru.”

“That’s me?” Tooru marveled. No, it couldn’t possibly be him, could it? “I look weird. And I’m tiny!”

Daichi chuckled and smiled. “Because you were just a baby. But you grew up.” 

“Wow,” Tooru said. “Were you a baby too, Dai-chan?”

“Sure was.” Daichi nodded. “We all were babies at one point.”

Tooru blinked. “Even my daddy?”

“Even your dad.”

Tooru nodded, understanding, but tried to wrap his head around the idea that his father had been a baby a long time ago. To him, his father had always been big and strong and wasn’t afraid of anything. He wasn’t even afraid of thunderstorms or the dark! Those things were super scary to Tooru and his father not being afraid of them was amazing to him. Babies were afraid of a lot of things. To think that his father was once a baby and afraid of everything was a little weird.

“So where do babies come from, Dai-chan?”

Daichi choked, on what Tooru didn’t know, it’s not like he was eating or drinking anything. Then Daichi started turning really red and wasn’t making any sense. “Y-You should ask your dad that when he gets here! H-He knows a lot better than I do.”

Tooru tilted his head. Grown-ups were weird sometimes.

Hajime arrived about two hours later when Daichi was helping Tooru practice writing his name, and Tooru jumped into his arms the moment the door opened. Daichi smiled, leaning against the doorjamb.

“Thank you so much for picking him up, Sawamura,” Hajime said, holding Tooru now. “I really appreciate it. Sorry that it was kind of sprung on you last minute. Koushi was supposed to but he said he got caught up in an emergency at the hospital.”

“I didn’t mind at all,” Daichi said. “Tooru is a delight.”

“So, um, would you like to join us for dinner?” Hajime asked. “If you’re not busy, that is. My treat.”

Tooru always thought it was kind of funny how red his dad turned when Dai-chan was around and how he couldn’t seem to talk right. Like now. He knew that his dad liked Dai-chan – the kissing kind of like. His Uncle Kou had even said so. But now he noticed that Dai-chan was acting the same way.

Did Dai-chan like his daddy? He hoped so. Dai-chan was nice and funny, even if he could be a little scary when he got mad (but his dad could be scary when he got mad, too).

“O-Oh, I don’t wanna be a bother!” Daichi scratched the back of his head.

“You aren’t being a bother,” Hajime said, face still red. “I invited.”

“Please come, Dai-chan!” Tooru piped up. “We can eat whatever you want! Please come with us!” He saw his father glance at him before turning his attention back to the other man. Tooru pressed on. “Please?”

Daichi smiled. “How can I turn down such a polite request from you two? All right, I’ll come.”

“Yay!” Tooru cheered.

**

When Hajime worked up enough nerve to ask Daichi out to dinner, he thought he was going to combust. Literally. From the inside out. And it would’ve been horrible and humiliating and Hajime would’ve never gone out in public ever again. He was hoping to perhaps get to know Daichi a little better and since they were both usually so busy with work – Daichi more so than Hajime – so finding a time where their schedules aligned proved difficult. But here Hajime was, inviting Daichi out to dinner, and “grabbing life by the horns” as Suga put it.

_“I’m tired of all this mutual pining! The sexual tension is about to drive me up a wall!” Suga had said. “Either ask him out or I will resort to drastic measures!”_

Hajime was a little afraid to find out what exactly those “desperate measures” were.

Luckily, Tooru was just as stubborn about it and practically begged Daichi to come along. So when Daichi said yes, Hajime felt his heart jump in his throat.

He didn’t plan this far ahead.

They wound up at the ramen restaurant with promises to Tooru that they’d go get milk bread at the Cat-fé and other sweets afterwards. Suga had said that he’d gone there plenty of times with Kuroo and that it was pretty good so they figured it was worth a shot.

“Kenma-chan makes the best milk bread ever!” Tooru exclaimed getting some broth on his face as he finished slurping up some noodles. “Tetsu-chan tried one time but it wasn’t as good.” He giggled. “He got really mad. It was funny. Remember, Daddy?”

Hajime wiped the broth from Tooru’s cheek and smiled. “Sure do.”

When Tooru had discovered the joys of milk bread, Kenma was the one who made it, and there was no one else that Tooru would rather have make it. He was very particular about where it came from and other places that made it weren’t quite up to par. That meant stops to the Cat-fé almost every day after school to grab some, and it became so frequent that not only did the rest of the staff come to know Tooru and his love for the dessert, Kenma would have it ready to go by the time they arrived. 

“On the house,” Kenma would say every time Hajime offered to pay. And seeing how much Tooru enjoyed it would make Kenma smile.

Cue Kuroo betting that he could make better milk bread than Kenma could. So after closing the café, they had a little baking competition with Tooru, Hajime and Suga as the judges. Kuroo had also called Bokuto and Akaashi to come help and “appreciate good food when they tasted it.”

Both pastries looked equally delicious (after much trial and error on Kuroo’s part because “The bread won’t rise, Kenma!”) and while they all agreed that both were indeed good, Kenma’s was just a little better than Kuroo’s. They couldn’t quite put their finger on why but it just was. Cue Kuroo pouting and hanging his head in defeat. That was two more weeks’ of lunch for Kenma, and as much as one would like to believe, the guy ate literally everything and left everyone wondering where he put it all.

_“Even my little munchkin has betrayed me,” Kuroo had put his head on the counter, fake tears collected and ready to spill._

_Tooru had pat Kuroo’s head. “It’s okay, Tetsu-chan!” he had said. “Yours is still good! And even though you didn’t get it this time, you can always try again!”_

_Kuroo had smiled. “You’re right.”_

And while Kenma baked like an angel, Kuroo could cook circles around him.

Daichi laughed upon hearing the story. “And where was I during all of this?”

“I think you were working really late that night,” Hajime said. “There was a deadline that you had to meet and you’d been having issues with your partners or something like that.”

“Oh yeah.” Daichi physically shuddered at the memory. “Never again.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve actually been having to spend more time at the office than anything so I haven’t had a chance to hang out with you guys as much as I’d like to.”

Shit. Now Hajime felt bad. 

Here Daichi was spending his evening with them when he could’ve been at home _resting._ Suga had told Hajime how Daichi had a tendency to fall asleep on his desk late at night and not leave until the early hours of the morning when Suga called him after getting off his shift from the hospital. Or how Daichi sometimes skipped lunch to make sure there were no loose ends in whatever project he was working on and Suga would have to either physically go up there and bring him food or pull Daichi away from his desk and take him to lunch.

_“He’s usually pretty good about knowing when to give it a rest,” Suga had said. “But when he’s involved in a big project, he feels a lot of pressure because he knows his boss has high expectations of him so he forgets to eat. And sleep.” Suga’s eyes seemed to darken. “It’s a lot easier to keep an eye on him now that he’s in Tokyo with us, but I still worry about him, you know?”_

“But I needed this,” Daichi said, interrupting Hajime’s train of thought. “So, thank you.” He smiled.

Hajime noticed that Daichi’s bangs had grown out a little (if eating and sleeping were the last things on Daichi’s mind, then a haircut surely was), but it didn’t look bad. In fact, it was the exact opposite. He looked good. _Really_ good. He caught the slight flush of Daichi’s cheeks, a pinkish tint, enough to make his eyes seem abysmal and inviting. Serene and warm. And –

 _Shit, fuck_ – he was doing it again.

Tooru giggled. “Daddy, your face is turning red again.”

Hajime looked at the boy, deadpan, who blinked innocently up at him, and Daichi just laughed.

The sun had set by the time dinner was eaten, and the chill of autumn had settled in with the night, both felt and seen by the thin, cloudy tendrils of breath that brushed passed their lips. It was a lot colder this year than normal, so Hajime helped Tooru into his jacket and slipped on the panda beanie that Michiko had sent a few months ago along with other colorful or animal themed ones. (“I’m on a roll!” his mother had said over the phone while Hajime could’ve sworn he heard his father crying for help in the background.)

They were on their way to the Cat-fé, Daichi and Hajime in the middle of a conversation when Tooru gasped, his eyes sparkling as he grabbed Daichi’s hand and tugged him to a nearby store window.

“Dai-chan, look!” the boy pressed his hands up to the glass, grinning wide.

There was a train set, along with many other toys, on display behind the glass. It rolled round and round on the wooden tracks, letting out tiny choo-choo’s as it went, and Tooru watched it for a moment before turning his attention to the other items. Daichi knelt down beside him, smiling fondly.

Tooru pointed to the item of interest. “This is the tela… telu… Um…”

“Telescope,” Hajime said when he joined them.

“Telescope!” Tooru chirped. “Right! This is the telescope I want for Christmas!”

It wasn’t a very big telescope, perfect for children around Tooru’s age and maybe a couple of years older who wanted to get a glimpse of galaxies beyond their own, and Tooru had had his eye on it ever since it showed up in the display window.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Tooru looked at Daichi.

“Very cool,” Daichi said. “You gonna look at the stars if you get it?”

“Uh-huh!” Tooru nodded, and that fire in his eyes whenever he talked about something he was passionate about ignited. “I wanna see stars, and planets, and maybe even aliens!”

“Do you want to be an astronaut when you grow up?” Daichi asked.

Hajime watched them interact as the light from the store illuminated their faces in a warm glow, and listened to how Daichi asked questions about Tooru’s dreams, never once doubting or patronizing him, even when his son had said that he wanted to play volleyball on Neptune since that was his favorite planet. Daichi told Tooru that he could be anything he wanted to be, whether that be an astronaut or volleyball player, or a combination of both and Hajime broke into a smile when Tooru lit up.

“Friday is always movie night!” Tooru suddenly declared. “Uncle Kou usually comes over but he’s at work.” He looked at Hajime. “Daddy, can Dai-chan come over to watch movies with us?”

Hajime snapped out of his thoughts. “Um, well, are you feeling up to it, Sawamura? I know you’ve been busy with work. You've gotta be tired.”

“I’m fine,” Daichi smiled. “I appreciate your concern. I’d love to join you two, if that’s okay.”

Tooru gave Hajime his best puppy-dog eyes, even when there was no need to. Because Hajime wasn’t going to say no.

They walked into the Cat-fé about an hour before closing time, and the minute that Tooru saw Kuroo, he ran up to him and almost tripped in the process. “Tetsu-chan!”

“There he is!” Kuroo laughed and picked the boy up with ease. “I was wondering when your dad was going to bring you by.”

“We went to go eat ramen,” Tooru explained. “Dai-chan came, too!”

“Oh?” Kuroo raised an eyebrow, obviously peaked with interest, and his eyes followed Hajime and Daichi in their approach. “So, did they go on a date, Tooru?”

Tooru shrugged. “I dunno.” He looked back at Hajime. “Daddy, was this a date?”

Daichi resembled a tomato more than a human and Hajime tried to collect his thoughts before both gave a completely unconvincing “N-No!” – and the look on Kuroo’s face told them so.

“Where’s Kenma-chan?” Tooru asked.

“He’s in the back probably playing video games,” Kuroo said. “Oi, Kenma! You’ve got a visitor!”

The door to the break room opened and out came Kenma, hair pulled back in a bun and PSP in hand. His hair was still bleached, and he had grown a little taller, but nothing had really changed about the former Nekoma setter. “Who is it?”

“Ken-chan!” Tooru wriggled out of Kuroo’s arms and hugged Kenma’s leg.

Kenma smiled softly, patting Tooru’s head. “Hi.”

Tooru stretched up on his tiptoes, tugging on the hem of Kenma’s shirt. “Whatcha playing?”

Kenma knelt down to show his game and explain it to Tooru.

Kuroo turned to Hajime and Daichi, a wry smirk pulling at his lips, and leaned against the coffee bar. “So. How’d your not-date go?”

Daichi faltered a bit and stuffed his hands in his coat pockets. “I-It went fine.”

Kuroo snickered as he watched them squirm. “Man, Koushi was right. The sexual tension between you two is almost palpable.”

Hajime grumbled, his face warm. “How’s Kou doing? You talked to him?”

“Changing the subject, are we?” Kuroo chuckled. “Yeah, he texted me on his break but I haven’t heard from him since about seven. What time did he go in?”

“Around eight this morning,” Daichi said. “He was supposed to be off in enough time to pick up Tooru but he said he got caught up in an emergency.”

Kuroo nodded, noting the time on the clock. “An almost thirteen hour shift? That’s rough.” He caught sight of Tooru trying to reach up on the counter for the plate of milk bread and picked up a piece, handing it to the boy.

“Thank you!” Tooru ran back to his spot beside Kenma.

“Hopefully everything’s okay,” Kuroo said.

Suga had told Hajime that there might be a new strain of flu going around and to make sure that Tooru was caught up on all his vaccinations and definitely get one for the flu. Of course, Hajime was already way ahead of Suga and took Tooru to get his flu shot when doctor’s offices started to administer them, even though Tooru begged him not to make him go.

From what Hajime understood, a few children in Tooru’s class were out with this flu, and he knew that Ennoshita and Azumane were being diligent in keeping everything in the classroom clean to lower the chances of the other kids getting sick, too.

Hajime, Tooru, and Daichi left shortly after that, with the milk bread of course (Hajime glared at Kuroo once he offered the entire loaf to Tooru, knowing full well that the child was hyperactive enough as it is – and that’s without the sugar). Tooru held Hajime’s hand, skipping along and humming a song without any real rhyme or reason to it. 

Oh, and he held Daichi’s hand, too.

**

Movie night to Tooru apparently meant they were rewatching the Aoba Jousai vs. Karasuno games (Hajime had actually lost count the number of times Tooru had sat down in front of the TV to watch it), but now that he had heard all about Hajime’s high school team, he wanted to learn about Daichi’s.

So, there they were, wrapped under a huge blanket with Daichi’s and Hajime’s shoulders almost touching and Tooru snuggled in between them. Hajime tried not to be overly aware of how close Daichi was to him and instead tried to focus on Tooru’s questions.

“Daddy said that number four is a libero.” The word came out a little jumbled, but Tooru continued. “He’s really fast and received that really strong jump serve! What’s his name?”

“His name is Nishinoya Yuu,” Daichi said. “He was one of the best liberos in the prefecture.”

“He’s so cool,” Tooru said, the glare of the game reflecting off his glasses. “His hair is cool, too. It’s all over the place! Like Daddy’s!”

Hajime ruffled the boy’s hair with a smirk. “Like yours too, kiddo.”

“Hey!” Tooru laughed, trying to fight off Hajime’s hand with both of his little ones.

Daichi chuckled.

The game wore on, and Daichi told Tooru what each of his teammates were like and what they brought to the court. Hajime started to notice that Tooru’s questions became fewer and far between as he wound down for the night before finally giving in and falling asleep between them. Hajime was about to get up and move Tooru to his room when Daichi’s head landed on his shoulder, and the man’s soft, even breathing could be heard. Hajime looked over and he, too, was fast asleep.

Hajime smiled and got comfy.

Yeah, he could get used to this.

**

“Tooru, are you ready to go?” Hajime peeked into the room.

Tooru zipped up his backpack, slinging it on his shoulders and grabbing ‘Godzilla’. He put on his glasses. “Uh-huh.”

Hajime picked up Tooru’s duffel bag and his own suitcase and walked with Tooru out the front door and into the chilly air. 

Almost two weeks ago, Hajime had been requested by the national volleyball coach to travel with the team on their trip to the United States for the semi-finals since their usual physiotherapist was out due to a family emergency. The coach had wanted someone he could trust to be there with the team in the event of an injury, and Hinata being Hinata, said that Hajime was the best there was. He’d be gone for about a week, and while Hajime hated the thought of not being with Tooru for seven whole days, it was extra money that he could use to support Tooru.

Of course, he had confided in Suga and Daichi first to see if this was even a good idea. They had agreed that while it would be hard being in a completely different country, but they had also said that this could help in financially supporting both him and Tooru. And it helped that his boss and the coach promised that this would be a one-time deal when Hajime expressed his concerns about this becoming a frequent thing since he had a four-year-old son at home that he wasn’t prepared to leave for long periods of time.

Suga had volunteered to look after Tooru, with Kuroo’s and Daichi’s help (and inadvertently Bokuto’s and Akaashi’s help), in case his shifts became too sporadic at the hospital and was unable to take Tooru to school and pick him up. Hajime knew that Tooru would be in great hands, but he wondered how the boy would take it. They had been apart for school and work – just mere hours. But days? A _week?_

That was entirely different.

Tooru had been excited at the idea of spending an entire week with his Uncle Kou.

“It’s gonna be so much fun!” the boy had said. “We’re gonna do all kinds of cool stuff!” But that was before he did the math. He counted on his fingers, one through seven, and the reality that he wasn’t going to see his father for seven days hit him even harder. Tooru was a smart kid. He knew that seven was a lot.

“That’s almost ten!” Tooru had exclaimed. Ten was the biggest number he could count to and ten was _too many._

“I’ll be back,” Hajime said while holding Tooru close the night before. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Promise?” Tooru looked up at him with teary eyes.

“I promise,” Hajime said. “I wouldn’t leave you and not come back.”

Tooru snuggled closer into Hajime’s chest, listening to the strong heartbeat, reveling in the warmth surrounding him. “Can I sleep with you tonight, Daddy?”

Hajime smiled. “Of course you can.”

And now here they were early Saturday morning on their way to Suga’s apartment so Hajime could be at the airport before nine. Tooru had fallen back to sleep on the drive there, so when they arrived Hajime carried him to the door with his bags.

“Hey.” Suga smiled when he opened the door, moving to the side to allow them in.

Hajime adjusted Tooru on his hip. “Hey, Kou.”

Tooru sleepily lifted his head, and Hajime could feel Tooru’s hands fist tighter into his jacket.

“Hey, Tooru-chan,” Suga said.

“Hi,” he said.

“I really appreciate you doing this, Kou,” Hajime said.

Suga waved his hand and took Tooru’s bags. “You know I don’t mind in the slightest.”

Hajime set the boy down to his feet and knelt down, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “Be good for Koushi, okay? I’ll be back in a week.”

Tooru pouted. “Daddy, do you have to go?”

“Unfortunately I do,” Hajime said. “But it’ll be okay. You’ll hang out here with Uncle Kou and everyone else and then I’ll be home. And you can call me every night before you go to bed and every morning when you wake up if you want.” He looked at Suga. “Right, Kou?

Suga nodded. “Definitely.”

He could see some relief spilling into Tooru’s eyes and that made Hajime feel a little better about leaving. This would be hard for the both of them, he knew that well enough.

“I can call every day?” Tooru asked.

“Everyday.” Hajime smiled and hugged his son tight, kissing his head. “I love you so much.”

Tooru wrapped his arms around Hajime’s neck. “I love you too, Daddy.”

Hajime stood up after a moment. “You two have fun.”

Suga smiled. “We’re gonna have a blast, aren’t we Tooru-chan? We’re gonna have milk bread and candy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”

Tooru’s eyes sparkled. “Really?”

Suga placed a finger to his lips and smiled. “Shh, don’t tell your daddy.”

Hajime rolled his eyes good-naturedly and gave Tooru one last hug.

Suga picked up Tooru as Hajime walked out the door. “He’ll be fine, don’t worry. Have a safe trip, okay? We want pictures! Put that international data plan you bought to good use.”

“Yeah, I will,” Hajime said.

Tooru waved. “Bye, Daddy.”

Hajime smiled. “Bye, Tooru.”

**

Koushi waited until Iwaizumi’s car was out of sight before going back inside, and as soon as the door clicked shut, Tooru broke down into tears. Koushi rubbed his back, whispering comforting words as Tooru clung to him and dampened his neck with sorrow.

“I want my daddy,” Tooru hiccupped.

“I know, Tooru,” Koushi said, voice low and warm, still massaging small circles in the boy’s back. He didn’t expect this to be easy. Iwaizumi and Tooru were very close, and Koushi could already see many nights of the week soaked with tears. “But hey, look what I got you.”

He set Tooru down, now that the boy had lifted his head with his peaked interest, and Koushi led Tooru to the small calendar that was mounted on the wall. The entire coming week was outlined in red with today labeled as “Hajime Leaves” and the next Saturday marked as “Hajime Comes Home.”

Koushi pointed to today. “See? Here’s when your dad leaves and then here’s where he comes back. Seven days seems like a lot, huh?”

Tooru sniffled and nodded. “Y-Yeah.”

“But I thought it might help if you got to cross the days off with a marker and see how much closer your dad is to coming home.” Koushi demonstrated on one of the previously crossed off days on the calendar. “Like that. And I even bought stickers and you can put those up here whenever you like.” He peeled off one of a puppy and stuck it to the tip of Tooru’s nose.

Tooru giggled, though there were still some loose tears running down his face. “Can I put one up there now?”

“Of course you can,” Koushi said.

Tooru looked over his choices before finally picking one and placing it on today’s date. It was a sticker of a sad kitty, and Tooru looked at Koushi, rubbing his hands together. “I’ll put a happy one up there tomorrow.” And then he smiled. “I can still call my daddy when I have a happy sticker up there, right?”

“You most certainly can.” Koushi smiled and texted Iwaizumi to let him know when he arrived at the airport. “I have a really cool thing on my phone where you can see your dad’s face even though he’s far away. Wanna try it?”

“Uh-huh!” Tooru nodded.

Koushi waited until he received Iwaizumi’s text to pressing the option to FaceTime and he perched himself on the couch with Tooru in his lap. It took a moment, but Iwaizumi’s face came up on the screen, even if it was a little blurry. The chatter of the volleyball team could be heard in the background, Hinata’s and Kageyama’s voices were the easiest to determine, and Koushi could’ve sworn he heard Tsukishima somewhere in there.

“Daddy! I can see you!” Tooru said, holding the phone in his hands. “That’s so cool!”

Iwaizumi smiled and was about to say something when Hinata came barreling in from the side, almost knocking Iwaizumi clean over.

 _“Is that Tooru?”_ Hinata’s face took up most of the screen.

Tooru giggled. “Hi, Shou-chan.”

_“Dumbass Hinata, get over here! He’s trying to talk to his son!”_

Hinata was dragged away by none other than Kageyama and Hinata’s noises of protest faded away. The few volleyball players that were visible in the background waved at Tooru and the boy waved back. The national volleyball team had taken quite a liking to Tooru when Hinata introduced them and the last 30 minutes of every other practice were used to simply have fun with the boy.

Iwaizumi sighed heavily. _“Help me. I’m gonna go insane.”_

Koushi laughed. “Some things never change.”

“Daddy, are you on the plane yet?” Tooru asked.

_“Not yet.”_

“Remember to take lots of pictures like Uncle Kou said and make sure everyone takes breaks!” Tooru said. “I don’t want them to get hurt.”

And as Tooru continued talking to his father, Koushi felt the tension seep out of him. He smiled, placing his hand on Tooru’s head. This week would definitely be hard.

But Tooru would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Thank you IronyPistol for correcting my shoddy Japanese. I changed the translation of Hajime's name to the more correct one. It changed the context of the conversation just a bit, but nothing drastic. Thank you again!
> 
> Next chapter is gonna be in Suga's point of view so just be ready!
> 
> My summer classes are over (for now) so for the time being I have time to do as I please so there might be another update in the next couple of days -- maybe Sunday. Or Monday. I don't know. Also, we are almost near the end! I can predict maybe three or four more chapters. That's just an estimate though, no guarantee. I could shorten it or I could stretch it. Depends on what's happening for me that day. /is still making this up as I go
> 
> As for the nomenclature of each character's name, I went to the Haikyuu wiki page to get the meanings since trying to Google it is so damn difficult. If I've mistranslated, please let me know. /needs to start studying Japanese again
> 
> Also, I really see Tsukishima playing on the national volleyball team, especially after playing against Shiratorizawa and having that special moment Bokuto was talking about.
> 
> Thank you so much everyone! Love you all!


	13. Drop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flour is an essential ingredient.

The first two nights were the hardest.

Tooru often woke up in the middle of the night looking for Iwaizumi and grew sad when he realized his father wasn’t there. He clung to Koushi at night, finding that he really couldn’t sleep well without doing so, and Koushi didn’t mind in the slightest. Figuring out proper times to call took some getting used to thanks to the time difference. Iwaizumi would usually be getting up for the day by the time Tooru was going to bed (the team found out that Iwaizumi didn’t handle jet lag well the hard way), but they found times that worked for both parties.

Koushi thought he wouldn’t ever be able to get over how absolutely fascinated Tooru was every time he’d FaceTime his father and see that it was daytime over there while he was getting ready for bed or vice versa. Both Koushi and Iwaizumi tried to explain what time difference was between the two countries but Tooru still looked just as confused as before so they decided to leave it be for now.

And that’s where they were now, three days in and Koushi was making breakfast while Tooru talked to his father on FaceTime. Being able to see Iwaizumi’s face really helped Tooru get through those first couple of days, and in turn, Koushi knew it helped Iwaizumi, too. It helped them stay connected even though they were in completely different countries. 

Technology was amazing and he didn’t care what people said.

Koushi had decided to keep Tooru home from school, mainly because he wasn’t working at the hospital today, but also because Asahi and Ennoshita had told him that two more children in Tooru’s class were out with this new strain of flu, one of those being Kousuke, Tooru’s best friend. This flu was starting to really worry Koushi since another child had been admitted to the hospital the other night because of it. And, if Koushi was being totally honest, it didn’t sound like the flu at all. (Call him paranoid, but he’d been cleaning everything. _Twice.)_

There were sounds of raucous laughter and yelling in the background – Hinata was definitely among the laughter and Kageyama was yelling – along with a few other voices that Koushi didn’t quite recognize. Iwaizumi had said that they were still at the gym getting some last minute reps in before the game tomorrow but Hinata had hit Kageyama in the back of the head with a serve and the rest was history.

From the angle that Iwaizumi was standing, Koushi could see Kageyama throwing multiple volleyballs at Hinata and missing simply because the latter was way too fast, but he never saw the ball flying straight for Iwaizumi’s head until it was too late.

Tooru gasped when it hit, and the voices in the background grew deathly silent.

And the frightening thing about it was that Iwaizumi didn’t outright react to being slammed in the head with a volleyball. There was no yelling, no hollering, just a budge from the impact and a pokerfaced expression. And Koushi knew that was when his friend was the most terrifying.

_“Kou, do you mind?”_ Iwaizumi bent down to pick something up.

Without missing a beat, Koushi covered Tooru’s ears with his hands, earning a confused look from the boy as Iwaizumi put his phone down on the bench and walked out of view. But he could clearly be heard.

_“What the fuck is wrong with you guys?!”_

_“It was Bakageyama, Iwaizumi-san! Wait, wait, wait!”_

There was the sound of volleyballs being thrown, crashes, shrieks for mercy and apologies along with more volleyballs being thrown and a string of curses from Iwaizumi. And it took every fiber of Koushi’s being to keep his laughter in check. Tooru just blinked up at him.

“Where’d Daddy go?” he asked.

Koushi’s chuckled. “He just went to take care of something real quick.”

Iwaizumi came back a few moments later and sat down, sighing heavily and picking up the phone again.

Koushi uncovered Tooru’s ears then and served him a bowl of rice with some egg. “Are they alive?”

_“They’ll live,”_ Hajime said. And sure enough, the telltale sounds of spikes could be heard again.

“Daddy, are you okay? You got hit in the head! It looked like it hurt!” Tooru clutched onto the phone, clearly worried for his father’s wellbeing.

Hajime smiled. _“I’m okay, Tooru. It didn’t hurt.”_

“Good.” Tooru breathed out a sigh of relief.

There was a sudden yell, one that sounded like someone in pain, and there were multiple people calling Iwaizumi’s name.

Iwaizumi’s brow creased in worry. _“Shit. I have to go, okay? I’ll call you to say goodnight.”_

“Okay,” Tooru nodded.

They hung up shortly after that and Tooru sat there, quiet and leaving his rice untouched. Koushi went up to him, concerned that maybe he was upset because his father had to leave, but he soon found out that wasn’t the case, if the contemplative look Tooru wore was any indication.

“Tooru-chan?” Koushi asked. “Are you okay?”

“Daddy said a bad word.”

Koushi laughed. “Yes, he did. But you know not to say it, right?”

Tooru nodded.

After breakfast, Koushi and Tooru went to the store to pick up a few groceries and the flour needed for cake they were going to bake. Kuroo’s birthday was in a few days, and since Koushi couldn’t exactly figure out what to get him (Kuroo never really made a humongous deal about his birthday), he figured he could at least bake a cake. He’d thought about getting Kuroo a kitten but remembered the poor guy was insanely allergic so that was out of the question. (“He gets all puffy and gross and no one should ever have to witness it,” Kenma had explained.) 

And the hilariously horrible thing about it? Cats _loved_ Kuroo.

“When’s Tetsu-chan’s birthday, Uncle Kou?” Tooru asked, volleyball in one hand while he held Koushi’s with the other. Tooru was adamant about taking his volleyball everywhere with him ever since he started staying with Koushi, more so than he ever was about ‘Godzilla’, and the man didn’t have the heart to say no.

“Thursday,” Koushi said.

“I’ll put a cat sticker on Thursday when we go home,” Tooru said.

“Hm? And why’s that?”

Tooru grinned, though it almost look mischievous. “Because Tetsu-chan kinda looks like a kitty.”

“You know what, I think you’re right, Tooru-chan,” Koushi snickered. “You’re gonna have to tell him that when we see him.” And the only reason Koushi even wanted Tooru to bring it up was because he knew that Kuroo would be a big softie if Tooru was the one to say it as opposed to anyone else.

The large supermarket was bustling with people, more so than usual and Koushi felt Tooru grab onto his hand tighter. He’d come back another day, but he worked up until Thursday and by the time he was free, there wouldn’t be near enough time to bake the cake.

Koushi smiled at him. “Stay close, okay?”

Tooru nodded.

They traversed through the different aisles, grabbing some udon noodles for lunch (per Tooru’s request) and different little snacks that they liked. Tooru stuck to Koushi like glue, occasionally bouncing his volleyball to keep himself preoccupied.

Koushi scanned the baking shelves, keeping an eye out for a specific brand of flour when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out. A text message from Kuroo.

_**You’re not working today right?** _

Koushi replied, curious and he could feel his heart pick up a bit. _**No, I’m off. Why?**_

Kuroo’s response was quick.

_**Cool I’m off too I was wondering if you and Tooru would like to hang out today and go do something. Plus I think I’ve nailed down this whole milk bread thing and I need Tooru’s refined palette to judge my work** _

Koushi chuckled, still listening for the steady sound of Tooru bouncing his volleyball. _**You’re still bitter about Kenma beating you?**_

Kuroo’s response, this time, was accompanied by an angry cat emoji.

_**I don’t think you understand how much that guy eats he’s the size of a toothpick but he eats literally evERYTHING OKAY CAN YOU BLAME ME** _

Koushi smirked. _**In fact, I can. But yes, I’m sure Tooru would love to hang out with you.**_

_**Aww. Just Tooru?**_ There was a sad cat emoji this time.

_**That’s debatable.** _

Koushi spotted the flour he was looking for and placed it in the cart. “Tooru-chan, do you wanna go hang out with Tetsurou today? He’s gonna make milk bread and –” He looked over and his heart stopped.

Tooru was gone.

**

He had to get his ball.

He had to get it. He couldn’t lose it! 

Tooru had been bouncing it, staying next to his Uncle Kou as he had been told, until someone bumped into him, making the ball ricochet off his foot and go rolling into the crowd. He went after it immediately, thinking he could grab it and go right back without getting in trouble, until it was kicked through the multitudes of people and further away from him.

He felt his stomach drop. He couldn’t lose it – that was his most prized possession!

That volleyball was a gift, a surprise.

His daddy bought that for him.

And the thought of losing it…

Tooru bobbed and weaved through legs and dodged shopping carts. He was almost there! The ball was practically right in his hands!

Another foot kicked it, sending it soaring further down the aisle. Tooru bit his lip, worried about the large crowd surrounding him but also determined to retrieve his ball. _Get the ball, go back to Uncle Kou. Get the ball, go back to Uncle Kou. I can do it!_

He stepped out into the fray, trying not to lose sight of it. Tooru continued to wander through, huffing in frustration when the ball rolled a little further, but when it skidded off into one of the aisles, he hurried to grab it.

He smiled to himself. He did it! Now to go back and find his –

Tooru looked around, eyes flitting over unknown faces and surroundings. He had no idea where he was in this throng of people in this too big and too loud supermarket. Where was he? Where was Uncle Kou? Terror crept in, making his heart race and his legs feel weak. 

Tooru felt tears burn at the corners of his eyes, held the volleyball tight, and started to cry.

**

Koushi ignored his cellphone. It was going off like crazy, and there was no doubt in his mind that it was Iwaizumi calling to say goodnight to Tooru. But Koushi couldn’t – _couldn’t_ – answer the phone without finding Tooru first. He couldn’t let Iwaizumi know that he had lost sight of his son.

He abandoned the grocery cart in the middle of the aisle, taking off and looking for the boy with the blue and yellow volleyball. “Tooru!”

He went through all the aisles they had previously visited and then some, asking other customers if they’d seen a little boy with glasses and a volleyball, with no luck. And panic began to set in. Koushi ran a hand through his hair, trying to keep himself together. Tooru was a smart boy. He wouldn’t run off with someone he didn’t know. Unless he was dragged away and –

_Stop it!_ he said to himself. _Stop it!_

Koushi looked at his phone. Tooru had been missing for about 10 minutes now and at the rate this was going, he wasn’t going to be found anytime soon. He made his way up to one of the employees stacking shelves to let them know what was going on when his phone went off.

A call from Kuroo.

He answered it. “Tetsurou, look, I’m sorry but I really don’t have time to be –”

_“Turn around,”_ Kuroo said.

Koushi stopped. “What? You’re here?”

_“Yes. Now turn around.”_

Koushi huffed and spun on his heel. “Tetsurou, this isn’t –” He paused, catching sight of Kuroo waving at him. With Tooru in his arms.

He should’ve felt bad for bumping into a few people with how fast he ran over but he honestly couldn’t bring himself to care. Tooru was found – _safe._ And Koushi thanked every deity that was listening that it was Kuroo and not some random stranger.

“Tooru!” He took the boy in his arms, hugging him tight.

Tooru wrapped his arms around Koushi’s neck, sniffling and hiccupping. “I-I’m sorry, Uncle Kou! I won’t run off ever again I promise! P-Please don’t be mad at me…”

“I’m not mad, Tooru. I just got really scared because I didn’t know where you were.” Koushi thumbed away the fresh tears running down Tooru’s cheeks. “What happened? Why’d you run off?”

Tooru looked down at the volleyball in his hands. “M-My ball…” he began. “I was playing with it and then I lost it.” His bottom lip trembled. “I-I can’t lose my ball, Uncle Kou… D- Daddy got it for me and… and…” He started crying again and Koushi pulled him back into a hug.

“Shh, it’s okay, Tooru,” Koushi crooned, stroking the boy’s hair. “I understand.” He looked at Kuroo, smiling with relief. “Thank you so much, Tetsurou.”

Kuroo shook his head. “I’m just glad I was here when I was.” And then he smiled.

Koushi looked away, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks, hating how much he loved how easily Kuroo got to him, then he remembered. “Crap – Hajime called earlier. I should call him back and let him know everything’s okay.” He fished his phone out of his pocket.

Tooru looked at Koushi, his eyes widening with worry. “Y-You’re not gonna tell my daddy I ran off, are you, Uncle Kou?”

“No, I won’t tell your dad.” Koushi smiled. “How about we go over to Tetsu-chan’s later? He said he was going to make milk bread. And he has a puppy.”

Tooru brightened almost immediately. “Really?” He looked back at Kuroo for confirmation and grinned when he received a thumbs-up. “We can go to your house, Tetsu-chan? I can play with your puppy?”

Kuroo grinned. “Of course you can!”

After things had been settled with Iwaizumi and Koushi’s cart was thankfully still in the aisle he left it in, they checked out and Kuroo helped load the groceries into Koushi’s car.

“So what time is good for you?” Koushi looked at Kuroo. “For us to go over, I mean.”

“Can we go now?” Tooru tugged on Koushi’s sleeve. He pouted. “Please, Uncle Kou?”

Kuroo knelt down next to Tooru, putting his arm around the boy’s shoulders and pouting right along with him. “Please, Uncle Kou?”

Koushi smiled, shaking his head in amusement. “All right, all right. We’ll go over now. But you’re cooking lunch, Tetsurou. Udon. Tooru’s call.”

Kuroo ruffled the boy’s hair. “Great choice, little man. I’ll make the best damn udon you’ve ever had.”

Koushi coughed. “Tetsurou.”

“Sorry,” Kuroo said. “Darn. The best darn udon you’ve ever had.”

“It’s okay, Tetsu-chan.” Tooru moved the volleyball in his hands. “Daddy said a bad word on the phone today.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “He said the ‘s’ word.”

Kuroo gasped, hand on his chest in mock surprise before pulling Tooru close. “My poor, poor little munchkin. So traumatized! I’m gonna have to talk to your father about his use of language.” He then took off Tooru’s glasses to clean the smudged lens. “But first,” he put them back on the boy’s face once he was done, “we’re gonna make milk bread and you’ll see how much better mine is than Kenma’s.”

“You think you can make better milk bread than Kenma-chan?” Tooru asked, and though it was asked in the most innocent way possible, Koushi couldn’t help but laugh at the very obvious blow to Kuroo’s pride.

Kuroo stood up, chest out and hands on his hips. “You bet your ass I can!”

“Tetsurou.”

“You bet I can!”

Tooru giggled. “Can I help?”

“Of course you can! You can be my number one helper!” Kuroo said.

“And I can play with your puppy?”

“You sure can.” Kuroo poked Tooru’s nose. “He loves new people.”

Tooru cheered. “Yay!”

Koushi smiled. “All right, Tooru-chan. We’d better get going so we can go Tetsurou’s.”

Without any hesitation, Tooru hopped in the backseat, jumping with excitement as he buckled himself in. “I can’t wait!”

“Little spitfire,” Kuroo chuckled and then turned his attention back to Koushi.

Koushi always felt like he was under a microscope when Kuroo looked at him – like every move he made was picked up by those golden eyes, those eyes that never missed a single detail, those eyes that were sharp and calculating yet melting and sweet like honey. Eyes that he easily lost himself in. And if he was being honest, he liked being under such scrutiny.

Koushi picked at his fingernails, nibbling on his bottom lip for a bit before finally meeting Kuroo’s gaze. “Thanks for earlier – with Tooru, I mean. I should’ve been keeping a better eye on him and you really helped out.”

“It happens,” Kuroo said. “Kids are fast. My little sister could be in the same room with me one minute and the next she’d be climbing on the kitchen counter.”

“Still,” Koushi sighed, looking down at his hands, still picking his nails, “Hajime would never let me watch Tooru again if he found out –”

“Hey.” Kuroo put his hands on Koushi’s shoulders, crouching down a bit to compensate for the height difference, and only continued when Koushi met his eyes again. “It happens. Iwaizumi wouldn’t have left Tooru with you if he didn’t trust you. Today won’t change anything. He knows you would never put Tooru in harm’s way.” He smiled. “So cheer up, yeah? We’re gonna have kick ass udon and milk bread and do whatever we want.”

“Tetsu-chan, you said a bad word again,” Tooru piped up.

“Sorry, kiddo,” Kuroo said and then turned his attention back to Koushi. “But you get my point. The important thing is that we found him. And look, Tooru’s already forgotten about the whole thing.” He nodded towards the boy currently humming a small tune. “You’re fine.”

Koushi let out a small laugh. “I guess you’re right.”

The smirk that Koushi adored crossed Kuroo’s face. “I’m always right.”

Koushi swatted the other man’s chest and blamed the red in his cheeks on the cold. “Yeah, whatever. Just go home already so we can be enraptured by this supposedly great milk bread of yours.”

“You don’t believe in my baking skills?”

“I believe in Tooru’s more than yours. And he can’t even use a microwave yet.”

Kuroo put his hand on his chest. “That cuts deep, Kou. I’m hurt now.

“Oh, I think you’ll be all right.” Koushi smirked.

There it was again. Never late, never faltering. Kuroo’s innate ability to make him feel better. To help him forget his troubles. It never felt forced or like he was trying too hard. And it was always welcome. It was as welcome as the embrace Kuroo currently held him in. He was firm, warm – like a campfire – crackling and exciting, pulling others towards him. He was bright and burning, even with hair as black as night, and something that Koushi tended to gravitate towards.

Kuroo released him and the chilly November air came rushing back. He smiled. “See you two in a bit?”

“Yeah,” Koushi nodded. “Yeah, we’ll see you in a bit.”

Kuroo squeezed his shoulder before heading to his car.

And Koushi felt like he was going to ignite.

**

“Puppy!” Tooru exclaimed as the dog ran up to him, laughing even as it knocked him over to sniff and lick him. “Nice puppy!”

“Ame, easy boy.” Kuroo gently pulled him off of Tooru. He gave an apologetic smile as Koushi helped Tooru up. “Sorry.”

“You sure that’s a dog and not a horse?” Koushi asked as he removed his and Tooru’s coats. “He’s huge.” Ame was easily Tooru’s height, and if Tooru really wanted to, he could get on his back and ride him like one.

Kuroo told Ame to sit and scratched the dog behind his ears. “Well, I think he’s part wolf so he’s just gonna get bigger. He’s only four months old.”

Kuroo had found Ame abandoned in a box by a dumpster about two months ago. He’d always wanted a pet, and since he couldn’t have a cat (much to his agony) and also because he wasn’t heartless, there was no way he could leave the pup there alone. They had no idea how a wolf hybrid was even possible in Japan given that they were extinct, but Kuroo really didn’t care about the logistics of it all (or the numerous the vet had given him concerning wolf hybrids). He’d fallen hook, line and sinker for the pup the minute he saw it. And it was evident within just days that Ame was completely loyal to Kuroo and wouldn’t hurt a hair on his head.

Koushi scratched his head. “Part wolf, huh? That’s insane.”

Tooru approached, holding out his hand. “Can I pet him, Tetsu-chan?”

“Sure. He doesn’t bite.”

Tooru placed his hand on Ame’s head, scratching softly and giggled when Ame licked his cheek. “Good boy, good puppy.” He hugged the dog, even if he couldn’t get his arms all the way around.

“So!” Kuroo clapped his hands and rubbed his hands together. “Who’s ready to make some milk bread?”

Tooru raised his hand. “I am!”

They started unpacking the groceries in the kitchen and Koushi went to go wash his hands in the bathroom. He shut the door and leaned against it, staring at his reflection in the mirror for a few moments before splashing some cold water on his face.

He took a deep breath.

Today would be the day.

After months and months of thinking it over, of letting tears hit the pillow and letting words of promise echo off of empty walls, he’d finally tell Kuroo the truth. He’d finally tell the man how he felt. He was ready. He could do this. It was just Kuroo.

Kuroo Tetsurou.

The man he didn’t expect to trip over but had no trouble falling for.

Koushi washed his hands like he planned to and walked back to the kitchen, only to come face to face with what could be best described as a scene straight out of a comedy movie. But instead of laughing, his jaw dropped.

Flour quite literally covered almost every inch of the kitchen, and that included Kuroo and Tooru. Even poor Ame wasn’t safe from the onslaught. Their dark hair was dusted white and Ame did his best to shake the stuff off while Tooru and Kuroo just blinked owlishly at Koushi. Ame sneezed and more flour was kicked up into the air.

“What the heck happened in here?” Koushi asked. “I left the room for five minutes, you guys!”

Tooru and Kuroo just glanced and pointed to each other. “He did it.”

Koushi rolled his eyes, rubbing his temples. “Well it’s a good thing that we bought two more bags of flour.” He wiped splotches of flour off of Tooru’s face. “But that was for when Tetsurou screwed up the milk bread. Didn’t know we were decorating the kitchen with it.”

“Hey!” Kuroo said.

Tooru sneezed and sniffled. “It’s in my nose.”

Koushi sighed and was about to say something when he was greeted by a face full of flour, thrown by none other than Kuroo Tetsurou. Tooru tried to stifle his laughter while Kuroo had no shame in letting it ring out, and only laughed harder when Koushi wiped it out of his eyes and sent a death glare in his direction.

“You should see the look on your face!” Kuroo said.

Koushi grabbed and compacted as well as he could before flinging it at Kuroo, smirking when it hit square in the other man’s mouth and he coughed and sputtered. Koushi cupped his hand around his ear. “Oh, I’m sorry – what was that? Didn’t quite catch it.”

Kuroo’s eyes narrowed. “It’s on.”

“Flour fight!” Tooru squealed, throwing fistfuls of flour everywhere and not really hitting a specific target as Ame yipped beside him.

They scooped it off the counter and even tore into the other sacks, throwing caution to the wind and not really caring about the immense mess they’d have to pick up later. And none were safe from the other. If one of them were seriously lacking in the flour department, say Tooru for example, Kuroo and Suga ambushed him and rubbed it in his hair and on his face, adding a few tickles in there for good measure.

Laughter bounced off the walls, and that was sweeter than any cake Koushi had in mind.

They didn’t stop until all three were sufficiently covered and Tooru began to complain that he was itchy. So Koushi stuck him in the bath while he and Kuroo tended to the disaster in the kitchen.

“So much for making milk bread,” Kuroo chuckled as he swept the floors. He’d shaken most of it out of his hair and off his face, but there were still patches clumped on his cheeks and on his arms and clothes.

Koushi wiped down the counters, smiling. “Yeah, or that cake.”

“You were gonna make a cake?” Kuroo questioned. “What’s the occasion?”

Koushi deadpanned. “Your birthday, Tetsu.”

The flush was evident on Kuroo’s face, even under the flour. “You didn’t have to do that, Kou.”

“Wanted to,” Kou corrected. “Besides, I wasn’t sure what to get you since you don’t like to make a big deal about it so I decided I should at least bake you a cake.”

Kuroo nodded, face turning a deeper shade of red, and continued sweeping. “Thank you.”

Koushi smiled, quickly turning around to wipe off another counter, when his foot caught a patch of flour just right (didn’t help that this was hardwood floor that had been recently waxed) that sent him falling forward. That is, until Kuroo slid over and caught him. And Koushi wanted to combust at the utter cliché-ness of it all.

This is _not_ how he wanted this to go. He didn’t know how he wanted this to unfold but he was pretty damn sure this _wasn’t it._

“You okay?” Kuroo asked.

_If you count being three seconds away from imploding as ‘okay’ then I’m freaking peachy,_ Koushi thought.

“Yeah,” he said aloud. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Good.”

But they didn’t move. Kuroo’s hands still rested on Koushi’s shoulders, embers against his skin, as Koushi slowly brought his eyes up to meet the mesmerizing honey hue he had come to know so well. And his mouth suddenly felt terribly dry. He licked his lips and his heart thundered against his ribcage.

He didn’t even have time to process that Kuroo’s lips were on his.

Wait.

Kuroo was kissing him.

_Kuroo was kissing him._

His brain overloaded, very well almost short-circuiting as warmth radiated through him, and he didn’t have a chance to react when Kuroo was suddenly pulling away, looking absolutely mortified and guilty.

“Shit, fuck – I’m sorry, Kou.” He ran his hands through his hair, back against the wall. “I shouldn’t have done that, I’m so, so _sorry._ I just – I don’t know – You told me you weren’t ready and I overstepped my bounds and I’m so sorry –”

“No,” Koushi brushed his lips with his fingertips, the electricity from their brief contact still tingling pleasantly, and then shook his head. “It’s fine.”

Kuroo paused. “What?”

“Actually,” Koushi sauntered over to him, movements more fluid and liberating than they had been these last few weeks around the man, and placed his hands on Kuroo’s bewildered face, bringing him close and pressing their lips together.

There was a sharp spark that ran from the crown of Koushi’s head to his heels, pulsating through him and leaving him excited and wanting so much more. It took a moment, but Kuroo eventually melted into the kiss, his hands moving to Koushi’s waist and staying there, bringing him closer. Koushi had been wanting to do this for so long, but he’d been scared.

Scared of what everyone would think. Of what Kuroo would think, of what Iwaizumi would think. But mostly afraid of what he thought of himself. 

They broke apart after what seemed like forever and Koushi brushed away some flour on Kuroo’s cheek.

“I don’t,” Kuroo started, voice low, “I don’t understand. I thought…”

Koushi gave a small smile, breaking eye contact with Kuroo and staring at the clumps of flour on the man’s shirt. “I’m not going to lie and say that every single day hasn’t been a challenge because it has.” He took a deep breath. “It’s been four years… and I still feel him there, some days more than others. But I’ve gotten better. I’m healing, I’m coping. And I think I’ve realized that I’m ready to try and be happy again.”

Kuroo just listened.

“And you’ve been so understanding about this whole ordeal and I can’t thank you enough for that, Tetsurou,” Koushi said, a lump growing in his throat. “You’ve been here every step of the way, and I know it couldn’t have been easy. You could’ve gone after someone else, but you didn’t. You waited and I just – I’m so sorry if I hurt you.” He fisted Kuroo’s shirt in his hands, blinking away tears. “Thank you. So much.”

Kuroo brought Koushi closer, if that was even possible. “I would’ve waited,” he murmured. “I don’t care how long it would’ve taken, I would’ve been right here. Even if you never would’ve been ready, I’d be here.” He pressed his forehead against Koushi’s. “I hate to say it,” he chuckled, “but you’re stuck with me.”

Koushi let out a teary laugh. “I don’t think I’d have it any other way.”

“So does this mean you like me?” Kuroo brushed Koushi’s silvery strands of hair from his eyes. “Like the kissing kind of like, as Tooru says.” 

Koushi smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, it does.”

Kuroo’s fingers ghosted along the side of Koushi’s face, leaving trails of warmth wherever they touched. He leaned in a bit, pausing. “May I?”

Koushi nodded, eyes already fluttering shut as their lips met once more.

He wanted to try this. To try this new, exciting, but achingly familiar thing. He was tired of the doubt, the fear that he was somehow betraying Oikawa because he wasn’t, the fear that it seemed like he was rebounding off of Kuroo, the worry that he would never find happiness again and forever live with that tomb in the middle of his apartment. The tomb that he tried to breathe life into by waking up every morning.

He wanted to be with Kuroo Tetsurou.

And that was all he needed to be concerned with.

Well, that is, until they realized they had an audience.

Tooru was standing there, clean and hair still damp, sipping on a juice box with Ame at his side. He looked back and forth between Koushi and Kuroo, blinking innocently as if to say “don’t mind me.”

Koushi hid his face in his hands and Kuroo just laughed.

**

Tooru felt funny.

He couldn’t explain it, but he felt heavy. He really didn’t have the energy to do anything, not even play volleyball when Uncle Boku when he had invited, and his Uncle Kou had been very worried about something called a fever. He didn’t really understand. All he wanted to do was sit on the couch and watch volleyball games on TV. Which is what Uncle Kou let him do.

Suga removed the thermometer from under his arm and clicked his tongue. “No fever.” He placed his hand to Tooru’s forehead. “Are you sure you just feel tired, Tooru? Does anything hurt?”

Tooru shook his head. “Nu-uh.”

“All right,” Suga said. “Just rest here, okay? I’ll get you some orange juice.”

Tooru just continued watching the volleyball match on TV, the volleyball match his daddy was at, and had a hard time keeping his eyes open despite how badly he wanted to watch the game. He didn’t even acknowledge the trill of Suga’s cellphone and the conversation because it sounded so far away.

He covered his face with his arm. The sun was too bright.

“Shit,” Suga said after a while and started gathering Tooru’s things into a bag before going to his room and changing into his scrubs. He came back to Tooru, and the boy would’ve jumped at his sudden appearance if he wasn’t so out of it. “Tooru, I have to go to work. So you’re gonna stay at Daichi’s for the rest of the day, okay?”

Tooru nodded, slowly sitting up and allowing Suga to put his coat on. Suga picked him up and carried him out to the car, falling asleep on the way there and not waking up again until they were there at Daichi’s.

And he felt bad that he wasn’t more excited to see Dai-chan, but when Suga laid him down on the bed in Daichi’s room, he didn’t want to move.

“Is everything okay?” he heard Dai-chan ask.

“I think he’s coming down with something,” Uncle Kou said. “He hasn’t had the energy to do much today, so just keep an eye on him, yeah? Note any changes or if he develops any symptoms.”

“Sure thing.”

“I hate to spring this on you. We’re understaffed at the hospital.”

“Don’t sweat it. I’ll take care of him.”

And their voices faded away as Tooru slipped into sleep.

When he woke up again, the sun was still out and it was still too bright, but he wasn’t sure what time it was or how he got into his pajamas. All he knew was that he was cold, his body, head, and throat hurt, and his tummy was doing weird flip-flops. He crawled out of bed and the moment he landed on his feet, he almost fell over since the room was spinning so much.

There was noise coming from the living room so he stumbled towards it, the edges of his vision blurring.

“Dai-chan?” Tooru mumbled, struggling to stay balanced and it hurt his throat to talk.

Daichi’s attention was immediately on him and he stood. “Tooru? What’s the matter?”

“I don’t feel so good…”

And the last thing he saw was Daichi running towards him before he collapsed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *runs away*


	14. With Eyes Wide Shut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patience is a virtue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt ambitious today.

His phone rang.

Hajime turned over, his groan smothered by his pillow, as he lifted his head to check the time. It was 2:30 in the morning, _who the fuck was calling him._ He slammed his hand down on his cellphone, and he entertained the thought of just ignoring it – he _was_ sleeping, after all – before pressing “talk” and bringing it to his ear.

“Hello?” His voice was rough, and he rubbed his eyes to adjust to consciousness.

_“I’m sorry for calling so late.”_

Hajime sat up and turned on the bedside lamp as an all too familiar chill crawled along the back of his neck. “Koushi? Is everything okay?”

 _“No – it’s Tooru, Hajime,”_ Suga’s voice shattered, his words shaken. _“He’s very, very sick. What we thought was the flu isn’t actually the flu, and we’re still not sure what it is.”_ There was a long pause. _“Tooru’s in the hospital. You need to come home.”_

Cue Hajime booking the next flight to Japan and telling the coach that he wouldn’t be there for the remaining duration of the trip. Everyone was confused at all the commotion and why Hajime was leaving, but Hajime really didn’t have the time or patience to explain. He packed up his suitcase, apologized for leaving early and headed to the airport. 

And after spending the entire 14 hour flight to Tokyo on edge, Hajime caught a taxi to the hospital. He was exhausted and very thankful that Kuroo was outside to grab his suitcase because he would’ve forgotten it in his haste to go inside.

Suga, Daichi, Bokuto and Akaashi were all sitting in the waiting room on the third floor (where Suga told him the other sick children were being kept), looking pensive and fidgety. Daichi was pacing, Suga was biting his thumb nail, Bokuto’s leg couldn’t seem to sit still, Akaashi was unnervingly quiet. Other families were there, too – parents who were fretful, desperate, asking doctors and nurses multiple questions about their child’s deteriorating health, and Hajime could’ve sworn he recognized Kousuke’s parents.

He hurried over. “Koushi!”

Everyone looked up and relief danced across their faces.

Suga met him halfway, hugging him. “Haji, I’m so glad you’re back.” He led Hajime down the hall, motioning Daichi to follow. “Tooru’s in this room over here. I’ll get Kai so we can explain everything to you.” He opened the door.

And Hajime felt all the air rush out of his chest.

Tooru was asleep, but it looked far from peaceful. His expression was twisted, pained, as if each breath he took was a struggle. He was hooked up to an IV with an oxygen mask strapped his face, his skin was pale and clammy, and the heart monitor beside him released a steady rhythm.

Hajime went over and sat down in the chair next to the bed, taking his son’s hand in his, noting how cold it felt and how wrong that was. He bit his lip, doing his best to hold back the tears that were dangerously close to overflowing. Tooru… he was supposed to be smiling, he was supposed to be running around pretending he was flying in a rocket or begging to play volleyball, warm and vibrant and just so alive. 

He wasn’t supposed to be this still, this quiet, this cold, or in this much pain.

Hajime should’ve been here. He should’ve never left to go on that stupid work trip out of the country. Then maybe Tooru wouldn’t be –

“Daddy…?”

Hajime’s attention snapped to the brown eyes slowly fluttering open, eyes that looked around trying to register their surroundings before finally settling on him. And Tooru smiled weakly.

“Daddy…” Tooru rasped, words a little muffled due to the oxygen mask. “Y-You came home… you’re really here…”

Hajime did his best to smile, stroking the boy’s sweat-dampened hair, and noted how hot he was to the touch. “Of course I came home, silly. I told you I’d come back. There’s no way I could leave my baby boy forever.”

Tooru’s smile widened, and for a minute it seemed like he was going to say something else, but he slipped back into unconsciousness.

Hajime leaned over and kissed his head gently, getting to his feet as he heard a rush of footsteps enter the room.

“What happened.” Hajime never took his eyes off of Tooru. It wasn’t a question. 

It was quiet before Suga spoke up. “Tooru had been tired all day yesterday. He didn’t have the energy to do much of anything, not even to play volleyball when Bokuto had invited, and I was worried that maybe he was coming down with something. So I kept him home from school. He hadn’t been running a fever, but he also didn’t have much of an appetite either.” He sighed. “I got called into work that afternoon so I dropped Tooru off at Daichi’s.”

Daichi stepped in. “He was asleep for a good two or three hours before he woke up saying that he didn’t feel good.” He paused. “And then he passed out.”

Hajime clenched his fists.

“He’s been running a high grade fever,” Kai said, glancing over Tooru’s chart, “but it’s a lot lower than when he was brought in. It was 41.1 degrees before.”

Hajime finally turned to face them. “So what the hell is going on here? What is happening to my son?”

“That’s the thing, Hajime – we don’t know,” Suga said. “All we know is that this isn’t the flu, and that more and more children are being afflicted with this. And that it’s figuring them out a hell of a lot faster than we’re figuring it out. We’ve already lost three children this month – a two-year-old, a five-year-old, and a three-year-old.”

“So there’s no vaccine,” Hajime stated.

“As of right now, no,” Kai answered. “But know that we have people working on this around the clock to crack this thing and get these kids better. It seems to be similar enough to the flu, so we’re hoping that’ll be of some use in getting a cure.”

Hajime nodded, sitting down and taking Tooru’s hand in his again.

“There have been a few adults that have been infected, but it’s mostly just children up to age six,” Kai said. “We were, however, able to figure out that it’s only transmittable by bodily fluids, so if you wish to stay here with your son then that is totally fine. Just make sure you don’t eat or drink after him and to wash your hands often.”

“I’d like that, thank you.”

“Sugawara-san says that you’ve been out of the country since Saturday,” Kai said. “But has your son been in contact with anyone who was sick prior to you leaving?”

Hajime shook his head. “Not when he was with me. I mean, Tooru made one of his friends a get-well card since she’d been out of school so I took him to her house to drop it off. The girl’s mom answered the door so he didn’t actually go in and talk to her.”

Kai hummed in thought. “I see. And what’s this girl’s name? Do you know?”

“Nakano Harumi.” He stopped, turning to them. “You don’t think he got this from her, do you?”

“It wasn’t from her,” Suga said. “She’s been here for almost two weeks. The virus has an incubation period of up to three days, so it’s possible he might’ve been infected last week.”

“So there is a chance that Tooru might have eaten or drank something after a sick child at school,” Kai said, jotting it down.

“Asahi and Ennoshita are very vigilant in making sure that sick kids stay home and everything is cleaned thoroughly to prevent it from spreading,” Suga cut in. “But it is possible.”

“At any rate, know that we’re doing the best we can, Iwaizumi-san,” Kai said. “We’ll get your son better.”

Hajime kept his eyes on Tooru. “Thank you.”

They left the room shortly after that, allowing father and son to have some privacy. And as Hajime held Tooru’s tiny hand in his, as he finally let his heavy tears fall, all he could think was,

_Not again._

**

Hajime didn’t really leave the hospital. If he did, it was only to shower and put on fresh clothes then he’d go right back to that chair in Tooru’s room. He wanted to be there if – _when_ – Tooru woke up, which wasn’t very often. Tooru slept a majority of the day, clinging to Hajime’s hand like it was a lifeline. And Hajime had brought some of Tooru’s favorite movies from home, even the volleyball matches that he could practically recite from memory, and that seemed to help a little.

And some days were better than others. Tooru would sometimes have enough energy to sit up and carry a full conversation with Hajime and there would be other times when he could barely say a word before going back to sleep. Either way, Hajime didn’t leave his side, not even to eat or rest. What if Tooru needed something?

Luckily, today was one of the good days.

Tooru had managed to eat a little something and drink some water and was now listening to Bokuto talk about the match between Fukurodani and Nekoma with Kuroo correcting anything he deemed wrong in the story. He smiled, but everyone in the room could tell that it never quite reached his eyes. Suga, Daichi, and Hajime listened in as well, and couldn’t help but be amused at the growing dispute.

“And that is the story of how I totally kicked Kuroo’s sorry ass in volleyball!” Bokuto crossed his arms and grinned triumphantly.

“Koutarou,” Akaashi said.

“Sorry,” Bokuto said. “How I totally kicked Kuroo’s _butt_ in volleyball!”

Kuroo rolled his eyes and jabbed his thumb at Bokuto. “Tooru, grow up already so we can show this old owl how it’s done.”

Bokuto’s brow twitched in irritation. “Who’re you calling old?”

“Did I stutter?”

“You’re the one who’s old, you alley cat!”

Tooru laughed, and it was the sound everyone had been waiting on these past six days since he’d been here, so much so that the room grew quiet when it rang out and it brought smiles to all their faces. But it was short lived since Tooru was almost immediately thrown into a coughing fit. It wracked his tiny frame, and as Hajime rubbed his back, a different kind of silence fell over them.

Tooru leaned against his father once it had subsided and whatever light was there had left his eyes.

“All right, guys,” Suga stood up, clapping Daichi and Kuroo on their backs and ushering them out. “Tooru needs his rest. Let’s get going.”

“We’ll come back later, okay?” Daichi smiled.

“Get better, little man!” Bokuto said.

“Later, munchkin,” Kuroo grinned.

Akaashi waved and Suga was the last one to leave. He handed Hajime a small smile before shutting the door behind him.

“Am I gonna be sick forever, Daddy?” Tooru asked after a beat of silence.

“No, of course not,” Hajime said. “It’s just taking the doctors some time to find the medicine that’ll make you and everyone else all better.”

Tooru nodded, fisting his hands in the sheets. He looked up at Hajime with hazy, tear-filled eyes. “I’m not gonna die, am I?”

“No, Tooru – no.” Hajime placed his hand to Tooru’s flushed cheek, thumbing away the collecting tears. “We wouldn’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen.” He lowered his voice to a murmur. “Don’t think like that, okay? You’re gonna be fine.”

Tooru nodded again, resting his head on the pillow and his eyes began slide shut. He grabbed Hajime’s hand, beads of sweat collecting along his hairline. “Will you stay with me, Daddy?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Hajime said, hoping to keep himself together long enough until Tooru fell asleep. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

And Tooru didn't stay awake much longer.

Hajime kissed the back of Tooru’s hand. _Not again._

**

Tooru woke up in the middle of the afternoon vomiting two days later.

After having his fever spike to dangerous levels the night before, everything he’d eaten the previous day and that morning came rushing up and out into the plastic bin placed in his lap. He whimpered, hands clutching at the sides of the bin, and trembled from the exertion of it all. He coughed as tears streamed down his face and tried to swallow down any more rising bile, but that only made him lurch.

Hajime rubbed his back. “Tooru, you have to let it out. You can’t hold it in, son.”

“I-I don’t wanna throw up anymore, D-Daddy,” Tooru sobbed. “I don’t like it! I-It burns!”

“I know…” Hajime said softly, continuing to rub small circles in the boy’s back. “I’m so sorry, Tooru.” If he could take Tooru’s pain away, he would in a heartbeat. It’d be more preferable than watching his son break down right in front of him. 

Tooru was only dry heaving now but he was still crying. “I-I wanna get better… I don’t wanna be sick anymore, Daddy!” He sniveled. “I’ll even get a shot – I don’t wanna be sick anymore! Uncle Kou, you can give me a shot right?”

Suga, who so far had been standing off to the side, came closer and removed the bin from Tooru’s lap with gloved hands and cleaned the sides of Tooru’s mouth. “If I had a shot that would make you feel better, I promise I would give it to you.”

“They’re making one, right?” Tooru sniffled.

“Yes,” Suga handed Tooru a cup of water and held the bin out in front of him. “Here. Rinse your mouth and spit the water out, okay?” He looked at Hajime when Tooru did as told. “Haji, make sure you wash your hands. Use hot water.”

Hajime nodded and moved to the small sink in the corner of the room.

“Daddy, where are you going?” Tooru asked, panic rising in his voice.

“I’m just washing my hands, Tooru,” Hajime said as he did so. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Suga smiled at Tooru and stood, making his way out of the room and taking the waste bin with him. He stopped at Hajime’s side and kept his voice low. “How’re you holding up?”

“I’m not the one you should be concerned with,” Hajime dried off his hands.

Suga sighed. “We’re worried about you, too, Haji. Yes, of course, we’re worried and scared for Tooru but you are also a part of this, a part of our lives. We care about you.”

“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” Hajime said. “How’s progress on that vaccine coming along?”

“It’s slow, but we’re getting there,” Suga said. He continued when he caught Hajime’s frustration. “I know that’s not what you want to hear, but believe me, we are working as fast as we can. Vaccines can take up to 10 to 12 weeks to produce. We’ve just hit the fourth week since this shit storm started.”

Hajime clenched his fists. “I know, Kou – I know. It’s just,” he looked over his shoulder at the now sleeping boy, “it’s hard. It kills me to see him like this.”

Suga pursed his lips. “He’s tough, he’s a fighter – like his father.” He attempted a smile when Hajime turned to him. “He’s gonna make it through this.”

Hajime ran a hand through his hair. “Thanks, Kou.”

Suga nodded once before leaving. Hajime sighed and returned to the same chair beside Tooru’s bed that hadn’t moved for almost a week. He hoped that things would get better.

But when Tooru woke up again later that day to throw up the lunch he hadn’t even touched, Hajime started to fear the worst.

**

Daichi came in with a tray of food later that evening. 

Tooru was asleep, looking much paler than he ever did before, and his hand was curled in a loose grip around Hajime’s fingers. With the combined efforts of the IV drip, Hajime tried to keep Tooru hydrated by having him drink plenty of fluids, remembering Suga’s words that even if he wasn’t eating, making sure he stayed hydrated was key.

Hajime was slightly hunched over the side of the bed, his head resting on his folded arms, but perked to attention as soon as he heard the door shut. “Hey, Sawamura.” He rubbed his face in an effort to wake up. He didn’t know how small he looked sitting in that chair, how dark the bags under his eyes were, how utterly and completely exhausted the slump in his shoulders gave away.

“Hi.” Daichi walked over, offering a shy smile. “Thought I might bring some dinner.”

“That’s kind of you, but Tooru can’t keep anything down right now,” Hajime said, eyeing the assortment of food. “Thank you, though.”

“It’s also for you, Iwaizumi,” Daichi placed the tray on a small nearby table. “I know you haven’t been eating well, if you’ve been eating anything at all.”

“Did Koushi send you?” Hajime asked, a slight bite in his tone.

“As a matter of fact, he didn’t,” Daichi huffed. “I’m worried about you too, you know. I’m worried about the both of you.”

“I’m fine,” Hajime looked out the window. “I’m not hungry.”

“When was the last time you had something that wasn’t a power bar or out of a vending machine?” Daichi crossed his arms. “When was the last time you slept for more than an hour? You can’t keep going on like this, Iwaizumi. Your body’s gonna give out on you.”

“I said I’m fine,” Hajime insisted.

Hajime knew he was lying to himself. He’d gotten a total of two hours of sleep in the last three days, mainly because Tooru would wake up crying because his stomach was in so much pain, and he hadn’t had a decent meal for even longer than that. He’d gone and grabbed small snacks from the vending machines while Tooru was sleeping, but nothing more than that. Oh, he ate about a third of a bowl of rice that Suga brought him two days ago, but other than that? Nothing.

He just couldn’t bring himself to eat. Not when his entire world was lying on a hospital bed, burning with a fever and now throwing up literally anything that wasn’t a liquid. He couldn’t afford to worry about his own wellbeing.

“Iwaizumi, you have to eat something,” Daichi said. “Starving yourself isn’t going to make things better.”

“You don’t think I know that?” Hajime snapped and then recollected himself, lowering his voice. “I’m sorry, Sawamura. I know you’re trying to help, and I just – I’m sorry.” He combed his fingers through his hair, holding his head in his hands.

Daichi didn’t deserve to be yelled at for caring. He didn’t deserve to be yelled at because Hajime was angry and scared, angry because there was literally nothing he could do but sit and wait and watch Tooru suffer, scared – no, _terrified_ – because there was the possibility he could lose Tooru to this. And if that happened…

Hajime didn’t even want to think about it.

That wasn’t going to happen.

It wasn’t. It _couldn’t._

No way.

He couldn’t lose his baby boy. He just couldn’t. He’d rather die.

He heard the scrape of a chair along the tile floor, and he suddenly became very aware of Daichi’s warmth right beside him. But he kept his hands in tangled in his hair, eyes trained on the floor, as he waited for Daichi to say something – _anything_ – that would drown out the smell of stale medicine and hum of machinery next to him.

“Iwaizumi,” Daichi said finally. “Iwaizumi Hajime, look at me.”

Hajime slowly lifted his head, meeting Daichi’s sturdy brown eyes, and Daichi put his hands to Hajime’s face, holding him.

“I know you’re scared,” he started. “But right now, all we can do is sit and wait for the doctors to do what they can. You have to take care of yourself, Iwaizumi. You have to be here when your little boy wakes up. Eat. Sleep. _Please.”_ His eyes softened. “If not for me, or for you, or for anyone else – do it for Tooru. Because he needs you now more than ever." His thumbs lightly traced over Hajime's cheeks. "Okay?”

Hajime felt himself starting to crumble, the dam starting to break, and Daichi pressed a tender kiss to his forehead before holding him close.

And Hajime lost track of how many tears he cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fever was measured in Celsius, by the way. So, for those who use Fahrenheit like I'm used to (and don't want to Google or do math like I had to), 41.1 degrees Celsius is 106 degrees Fahrenheit.
> 
> That's hot.


	15. Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paint the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, guys! Last stop! Man, that went by fast. I guess that's what I get for getting overexcited and cranking out these chapters as fast as I could. Whoops. Anyway, this is the last full chapter of this story and then there will be an epilogue so please do stick around! I will probably publish the epilogue here pretty soon (meaning later today) so keep your eyes peeled!
> 
> Thank you so much everyone for sticking with me and this story! You guys have no idea how much every response I get means to me! I literally cannot express my immense gratitude for all the love you've shown this little idea of mine. You're all beautiful.
> 
> Thank you.

The national volleyball team went on to the finals.

The game flashed across the laptop screen through something what his dad called a “live stream”, and it lit up the dark room as Tooru watched with hazy eyes. He was curled up against his father, still running a fairly high fever, but he was able to keep his dinner down. He shuddered, and Hajime pulled the blankets up to his shoulders. He was tired, but he really, really wanted to watch the volleyball game so his father said it was okay for him to stay up a bit later.

And if Tooru was being honest, he’d rather watch the game at home and not at the hospital. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go home so badly but his daddy and Uncle Kou said he couldn’t until he was better. He tried to convince his father that he was feeling well enough to go home a few days ago, but that didn’t work out so well when he coughed so much it made his chest hurt and red stuff came out of his mouth.

He had never seen his dad and Uncle Kou look so scared before. Well, Uncle Kou looked really scared when Tooru ran off in the store but that was a secret.

Tooru was doing better – his chest still kind of hurt, he had a cough, and now he had to wear a mask that the doctor said would help him breathe. It got annoying sometimes, but he was doing better.

He perked up a bit when he recognized the set up for the really fast quick that Shou-chan and Tobio-chan were going to do. He tugged on his father’s sleeve as he sat in his lap.

“Look, Daddy.” His voice sounded a little funny and it kind of hurt to talk, but he was excited nonetheless. “Tobio-chan and Shou-chan – they’re gonna do it!”

Hajime smiled.

The camera would never be able to capture the true amazingness, the speed, the looks of incredulity on the opponents’ faces. To be able to truly say that you witnessed the “god-like quick” as everyone called it, you had to be there. In person. You had to be there to see – or at least attempt – to see Hinata somehow move from one side of the court to the other in a flash. You had to be there to see the ball rest in Kageyama’s hands before he catapulted it behind him. You had to be there to see the ball cut across the air like a knife into a pocket of the opponents’ defense. 

And Tooru had been there.

He had seen it.

And he wanted to do it, too.

He watched Hinata fly up in the air with the toss and spike it down, and he couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. However, there was something he hadn’t seen when the game started. Now that the camera provided a close-up of the team, he saw the kanji on the back of their jerseys… they were different. Even though he couldn’t read them just yet, he recognized that they weren’t the same. Instead of the long string of intricate characters, there was only one.

“Daddy,” Tooru tugged on his father’s sleeve, “what do their shirts say? It looks different.”

Hajime placed his hand atop the boy’s head. “It says ‘Tooru’. They’re wearing your name on their shirts.”

Tooru looked up at him with wonder and a bit of confusion. “Huh? Why? Why would they do that?” Wearing his name on the back of their jerseys seemed a little silly because they all had different names. If anything, Shou-chan and the others should be wearing their own names on the back of their shirts. 

“Because they’re playing this game for you, son.”

Tooru turned back to the screen, staring at the single kanji on their backs. “For me? Why?”

“They’re all hoping you feel better,” Hajime answered. “Everyone is. Hinata, Kageyama, even Tsukishima.”

The boy smiled. “And I’m gonna get better… right, Daddy?”

Hajime ruffled his hair. “You sure are.”

Tooru nodded once, a look of determination in his eyes that hadn’t been there in the last couple of weeks. He was going to get better. He couldn’t let his dad and everyone else down! Tetsu-chan, Dai-chan, Uncle Boku and Akaa-chan had visited him so many times and hoped he’d get better. His daddy stayed with him every day and night and was there when Tooru was scared. They were counting on him to pull through this. 

And he _was_ going to see this through to the end.

**

To see some light return to Tooru’s eyes, to see a smile that wasn’t too forced – it brought Hajime unfathomable amounts of relief. It meant that there was a light at the end of this tunnel, that they’d pull through this – _all_ of them would – and everything would be okay.

He’d been eating and sleeping more, laying with Tooru on that too big hospital bed and eating actual food that Daichi may or may not have brought from home. He wasn’t going to get into that _but_ he could definitely see Tooru making progress. Hajime could see that his son was getting better.

The door cracked open and light from the hallway pooled into the room. 

Daichi poked his head in. “Am I interrupting anything?”

Tooru pointed to the laptop screen. “Dai-chan, come see! Shou-chan and Tobio-chan are playing!” He started coughing a bit from his excitement.

“Take it easy, Tooru,” Hajime said. He didn’t want the boy to overexert himself.

Daichi smiled and came over, sitting in a chair. “How’re they doing?”

“They’re winning!” Tooru said. “Only by a point though.”

“I’ll take a one point win over a loss,” Daichi said. “The competition is tough, especially in the national league.” He looked at Tooru. “Do you wanna play on the national team, Tooru?”

“Uh-huh,” Tooru nodded. “Kousuke and I are gonna be on a volleyball team together when we get bigger and win lots of games.”

“Oh? Kousuke’s your best friend, right?”

“Yeah,” Tooru said. “He likes to give lots of hugs, and other kids say he’s annoying but I don’t really mind. He’s my bestest friend in the whole world.” Then he quieted. “But he’s sick, too. He’s gonna be okay though, isn’t he?” He looked between Daichi and Hajime, brow creased in worry.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Hajime said, patting the boy’s head. He looked at the time. It was getting pretty late, almost an hour and a half past Tooru’s usual bedtime. “All right, little man. I think it’s about time you got some sleep.”

“Aww,” Tooru pouted. “But I wanna see if they win!”

“No buts,” Hajime scooted off the bed and shut his laptop. “You need to rest.”

Tooru sighed but buried himself beneath the covers. “So I can get better?”

“That’s exactly right,” Hajime tucked him in and placed a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Goodnight, Tooru. I love you.”

“I love you too, Daddy,” Tooru said. “Goodnight, Dai-chan.”

Daichi smiled. “Goodnight, Tooru.”

Hajime clicked on the small lamp in the corner of the room – it allowed enough light to ward off nightmares and the occasional boogeyman without being too overwhelming – and Tooru was asleep within minutes. He turned back to Daichi, keeping his voice at a murmur.

“I’m surprised they let you in this late,” he said.

“Oh, they didn't. Suga got me in,” Daichi chuckled lowly. “I just thought I’d come by and see how you two were doing since I haven’t really been able to these past couple of days, even if it was just for a little bit. Should’ve known you would both be up watching the game.”

“Well, if there’s one thing that Tooru loves, its volleyball,” Hajime smiled.

“You two doing okay though?”

“Tooru seems to be doing better so I think it’s safe to say that the worst is behind us,” Hajime said as he looked at the sleeping boy. “He’s had more energy today than he’s had in the last week or so.”

Daichi seemed to release the breath that he’d been holding. “That’s wonderful to hear.”

“Yeah, he scared the hell out of us for a minute there.”

“What happened?”

“He started coughing up blood.” Hajime crossed his arms, fingers taut as his nails dug into his sleeves. “Not a lot, but it was enough to scare Koushi. They took him away for testing before Tooru even knew what was going on.”

“And he’s okay?”

Hajime nodded. “Yeah, he’s okay. They’ve been keeping a pretty steady eye on him. I lost count of how many times Koushi came in here to check on him.” He let out a small laugh. “Tooru was telling me that he saw Kou and Kuroo kiss.”

Daichi put his hands in his pockets, lips playing at an amused smile. “Jeez, it’s about time they made it official. They were about to drive me crazy.” He exhaled softly. “But I’m glad that Suga is able to start moving on and trying to find happiness again. He deserves it.”

“Yeah, he does,” Hajime agreed.

“I just hope Kuroo knows that if he hurts my best friend, he’s going to be up shit creek without a paddle.”

“That’s no lie.”

A silence settled over them, even with the sound of night traffic humming outside the window, and Hajime noticed that they seemed to share moments like these quite a lot. But it was never uncomfortable with Daichi. His company never made Hajime feel like he had to say something to fill the silence, to try and dispel the awkwardness that lapses in conversation often brought.

And he could still feel the tender kiss that Daichi placed to his head.

“About the other day,” Hajime rubbed the back of his neck. “Thank you. You, uh, you really helped me out a lot.”

Daichi scoffed, amusement in his eyes. “Someone’s gotta look after you guys if Suga and Akaashi aren’t around otherwise you’d keel over.” He paused for a moment. “But you are eating, right? And resting?”

“Yes, I am.”

“You aren’t lying to me, are you? I’ll get Suga in here.”

That was the last thing Hajime wanted. He’d already gotten an earful from Suga when the man found out he wasn’t eating and sleeping properly. And since Suga was constantly visiting other patients, keeping a careful eye on Hajime too had proven difficult. (“I shouldn’t have to babysit you, Haji! You’re a grown ass man, take care of yourself! You’ve got a little boy here who’s sick and needs you! I know you’re worried but _think!”)_

Hajime almost shuddered at the memory of Suga’s wrath. And that was only the tip of the iceberg.

“Let’s not and say we did,” Hajime sighed. “My ears are still ringing from last time.”

Daichi raised an eyebrow. “So you’re not lying to me?”

Hajime raised his right hand. “Scout’s honor.”

“Good.” Daichi nodded.

The door opened then and Suga popped inside the room.

“Hey,” he smiled. “I hate to interrupt whatever’s going on but the head nurse is making her rounds and if she finds someone here past visiting hours that’s not next of kin, we’re all getting hell. And I love you guys – truly I do – but I am not losing my job over this so let’s get going Daichi.”

Daichi patted Hajime’s shoulder. “I’ll see you two tomorrow?”

Hajime nodded. “For sure.”

Daichi smiled and left the room.

“I’ll be back in a minute, Haji,” Suga said before following Daichi.

Hajime stretched out his arms and back, sighing when he heard satisfying clicks, and carefully laid down next to Tooru so as not to disturb him. He was exhausted and didn’t hesitate in closing his eyes. If something was wrong, Suga would wake him up.

**

The vaccine was completed three days later.

A woman by the name of Shimizu Kiyoko had found a way to beat the unknown virus that seemed to have seemingly sprung up out of nowhere. However, that wasn’t the case. 

“Patient zero – a two-year-old – somehow ingested fecal matter from a rodent and that’s how it started,” she explained. “Children at that age will put nearly anything in their mouths.”

Hajime remembered those days very well. He’d turn his back for two seconds only to find that Tooru was trying to have a taste of something that he _definitely_ shouldn’t have been eating. But he waited with bated breath as the nurses and doctors made their rounds administering the vaccine. Tooru was still asleep since it was in the very early hours of the morning when they received the news.

Hajime sat at the edge of the bed, brushing back the wild strands of Tooru’s hair. _Hang in there a little longer, son._

The door clicked open and in came Suga along with Kai.

“How’s he doing?” Suga asked, fitting latex gloves on his hands and drew the vaccine out of the vial with a needle, watching the dosage with expert eyes.

“Better,” Hajime said.

“Good.” Suga wiped a small area of Tooru’s arm with an alcohol swab. He administered the vaccine, and the sudden prick made Tooru twitch a little in his sleep but he didn’t wake up. Suga smiled. “He’ll be up and running about in no time.” He placed a Band-Aid on Tooru’s arm. “Keep an eye out for any swelling, rashes, trouble breathing – just to make sure he doesn’t have an allergic reaction.”

Hajime nodded. “Got it. Thanks, Kou.”

Suga grinned as he left the room. “Just doing my job, Haji.”

And as the day wore on, even though Hajime knew Tooru wouldn’t be completely recovered overnight, he could’ve sworn that he could see Tooru’s health improving within those first few hours. 

Tooru was released from the hospital a few days later with a clean bill of health (despite a still having a slight cough but that’d go away in another day or two) and practically ran out into the afternoon sunshine, even though winter had already settled in. Hajime, Suga, and Daichi followed him out into the crisp air, and there was no way he missed the huge grin spread across Tooru’s face.

The boy took in a deep breath and spun on his heel to run towards his father, jumping into open arms. “I’m not sick anymore, Daddy! I’m all better!”

Hajime smiled, fitting the panda beanie on Tooru’s head. “You were such a brave boy, Tooru. I’m so proud of you.”

“I was brave?” Tooru tilted his head.

“You sure were!” Suga chimed in. “Isn’t that right, Daichi?”

Daichi nodded. “Yup.”

Tooru grinned, fixing the mittens on his hands when someone called his name. He looked around for a moment before spotting a very familiar face and wriggled out of Hajime’s arms, bounding over to another little boy who was running towards him.

“Kousuke!” Tooru cried, wrapping up his friend in a huge hug. “You’re all better!”

Kousuke grinned, brushing some blonde hair out of his face. His green eyes sparkled. “You’re better, too! I’m sorry if I got you sick, Tooru!”

Tooru pat his head reassuringly. “You didn’t get me sick.”

“We’ll get to play volleyball again!” Kousuke chirped, taking Tooru’s hands in his and jumping around. “It’ll be so much fun!”

Tooru grinned, greeting Kousuke’s mother as she came over, and turned around to face Hajime. “Daddy, can Kousuke come play volleyball with us?”

“I don’t see why not,” Hajime said and then looked at the woman before him. “If it’s okay with you, Yukimura-san.”

She smiled. “I don’t mind at all. Volleyball is all Kousuke-chan talks about at home so he’ll have a blast getting some outside practice.”

“Sounds like someone else I know,” Hajime chuckled, looking at Tooru as he cheered with his friend at the idea of getting to practice volleyball together.

They went their separate ways after that, with Tooru chattering excitedly as Hajime, Daichi, and Suga listened tentatively. They were so relieved, so glad that Tooru was back to his energetic self. Those three weeks without his smile, without his laugh, were absolute hell.

And any semblance of normalcy was welcomed wholeheartedly.

“Hey, Tooru-chan,” Suga said, getting the boy’s attention. “Guess what I found at my place a few days ago.”

“What is it?” Tooru asked with wide, curious eyes as Suga rummaged through his bag.

“This!” Suga pulled out a blue and yellow volleyball and grinned.

Tooru gasped and took it in his hands, jumping up and down. “My volleyball!” He hugged Suga’s leg. “Thank you, Uncle Kou!”

Suga mussed his hair. 

“Can I play volleyball again, Daddy?” Tooru looked at his father.

“Not until that cough goes away, okay?” Hajime said. “Then we can play all the volleyball you want.”

“I can’t wait!”

“Speaking of volleyball,” Daichi said, “Hinata and Kageyama have been asking how Tooru was doing. As well as their entire team. Maybe we can stop by the gym later and ease their worries, yeah?”

“Yeah!” Tooru chimed. “I wanna see Tobio-chan and Shou-chan! And Stingyshima!”

Daichi faltered a bit. “And exactly how much time does Tooru spend with Hinata?”

“Not as much time as you’d think for him to pick up his mannerisms,” Hajime said.

Suga laughed, looking at Hajime. “And how does Tsukishima feel about that little nickname?”

“Hinata genuinely feared for his life that day.”

Tooru smiled. “Stingyshima is nice though! I thought he didn’t like me at first but then he was nice – like Shou-chan said he would be!”

“Well, that’s good,” Daichi said. “I’d hate to think of what would happen if he wasn’t.”

Suga’s smile was razor sharp. “Let’s just say that Hajime won’t be the only person Tsukishima would have to worry about.” He clocked Hajime in the arm. “Right?”

Hajime rubbed his bruising limb. “Right.”

“Great!” Suga said. “Oh and I’ve already scheduled dinner with Kuroo, Bokuto, and Akaashi. So after we’re done seeing the volleyball team, we can relax at home for a bit before meeting them. Sound good?”

“Yeah!” Tooru took Suga’s hand as they marched forward. He grabbed Daichi’s too and tugged the man along. “Come on, Dai-chan!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Daichi stumbled a bit but eventually regained his footing.

Hajime smiled, taking in this moment unfolding before him as Tooru pulled Suga and Daichi along – three of the most important people in his life. Suga and Daichi were his greatest support systems, they’d helped him, allowed him to freely share his worries and sorrow. And Tooru – little Tooru who touched such a big part of everyone’s lives – was his whole reason for even getting out of bed in the morning. 

“Daddy!”

Hajime hadn’t even realized they had stopped walking.

“You coming, slowpoke?” Suga asked.

“Yeah,” Hajime said. “Yeah, I’m coming.”

**

“Here.”

Hajime blinked, confused, and stared at the three slips of paper – well, it wasn’t paper per se, but rather three tickets – in Suga’s before looking at his friend. He hesitantly took them. “Um, what’re these for?”

Two weeks later found them at Kuroo’s apartment, mainly because Tooru wanted to play with Ame – Kuroo’s puppy. And when Hajime walked through that door, he expected to find an actual puppy. Not a behemoth. But that didn’t deter him for long since he had a huge soft spot for dogs.

Tooru had made a full recovery and any lingering signs that he had been sick were long gone, much to everyone’s relief, and was back to begging to play volleyball every chance he got and pretending he was the grand king of a land near the ocean. He’d apparently made friends with the aliens and now they were his allies along with the orcas and dolphins.

Now _that_ was an interesting sight to see. 

“They’re the winter festival tonight – duh!” Suga said. “I got extra tickets for you, Daichi, and Tooru. Well, they’re not exactly tickets. More like coupons. You get discounts at the different food and souvenir stands.”

Hajime paused. “Are you and Kuroo not going?”

“Don’t be silly, of course we’re going!” Suga beamed. “But we’ll be off somewhere else while you, Daichi, and Tooru are off doing whatever you want to do. We won’t interfere on your family time.”

“Maybe they’ll finally do something about all that mutual pining instead of subjecting us to it further,” Kuroo breezed past Hajime and into the seat Suga was standing next to. “All this sexual tension is bad for my health.”

Hajime huffed. “I don’t want to hear anything about mutual pining because you two were just as bad.”

Suga moved behind Kuroo, slipping his arms around his shoulders and his eyes glinted with unmistakable mischief. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Haji.”

Hajime rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure you don’t.” He looked back to the tickets in his hand. “Thanks for these. You didn’t have to.”

“Wanted to,” Suga clarified. “And don’t even think of chickening out because you’re too shy, Haji. I’ve already told Daichi to meet you and Tooru there. Don’t leave him hanging.”

Hajime knew that while Suga was joking, he was also being completely and utterly _serious._ And if Hajime stood up Daichi – which he would never do – there would be hell to pay.

“You know I wouldn’t do that, Kou,” Hajime stood up, pocketing the tickets. He looked at the boy currently rolling around on the floor with Ame. “Tooru? You ready to go?”

“Aww, already?” Tooru pouted. “But we just got here!”

That “just got here” was a little over three hours ago. The sun was high in the sky when they arrived and was now well on its way to setting, painting the sky in vivid magentas, peaches, and gold. Hajime shrugged on his coat and grabbed his scarf.

“Well, Uncle Kou and Kuroo were nice enough to get us tickets so we can go to the winter festival.” Hajime helped Tooru into his coat. “Does that sound like fun?”

“Really?” Tooru asked. “Thank you, Uncle Kou! Thank you, Tetsu-chan!”

“Anything for my favorite nephew,” Kuroo gave a thumbs-up.

“Are you and Tetsu-chan coming too, Uncle Kou?” Tooru questioned, trying to readjust his glasses with mitten clad hands.

“We’ll be there,” Suga said. “We might even run into you guys.”

“Cool!”

They left shortly after that, Hajime ignoring Suga’s teasing calls for him to “have fun”, and instead decided to focus on the rising heat to his cheeks. He still felt that kiss on his forehead, warm and tingling. But he couldn’t tell if was just to make Hajime feel better or if it was supposed to mean something more. Hajime was never very good at these sort of things. Yeah, he could read people, sure, but only those few he had known for an extended amount of time. Dealing with romantic situations wasn’t one of his strong suits.

The festival was held in a less crowded part of Tokyo in the same spot every year, so it was a little over a 20 minute drive including traffic, and Hajime remembered going to them all the time as a kid – with Oikawa. The fireworks were always his favorite part, no matter how many prizes he’d won from the little games scattered throughout the festivities, so he definitely wanted Tooru to experience that.

When they arrived, Daichi was waiting by the entrance, hands tucked in his pockets and the lower half of his face buried in his scarf. Tooru immediately ran up to him and Daichi scooped him up in his arms, grinning widely at the boy.

“We’re gonna have so much fun!” Hajime heard Tooru say once he caught up.

“Hey, Sawamura,” Hajime said, scratching the back of his head. “Sorry, traffic wasn’t the best. You weren’t waiting long, were you?”

“Not at all,” Daichi smiled. “I got here maybe five minutes before you did, so don’t worry.

Good. That was one less thing Hajime had to fret about. Now if his heart could stop attempting to jump out of his chest, he’d greatly appreciate it.

“Daddy! Dai-chan!” Tooru called, moving ahead of them. “Come on! Let’s go!”

Hajime smiled, falling into stride beside Daichi. “We’re coming, whirlwind – slow down.”

Tooru darted from booth to booth while Hajime and Daichi tried to keep up with his seemingly endless amount of energy, but he spent most of his time trying the different food being served rather than the actual games that were available. One of the few games he did try, however, he won and was given a small goldfish as a prize. Then, Hajime and Daichi discovered that he loved the steamed pork buns being handed out and was about to ask for a fifth one when Hajime said that five was too many. Probably should’ve stopped at four.

“But they’re so good!” Tooru whined.

Hajime blanched. What had Hinata Shouyou done to his child?

“Yeah, but you’re gonna get a stomachache and then we’ll have to leave,” Hajime explained.

Tooru sulked. “I don’t wanna leave…”

“I don’t want to either,” Hajime straightened the askew beanie on Tooru’s head. “So let’s take it easy on the pork buns for now, okay?”

Tooru nodded. “’Kay.” But still continued to pout.

Daichi chimed in. “Hey, I think they’re about to start the fireworks pretty soon.” He pointed to the groups of people moving to another area. “Wanna go see?”

“Sure!” Tooru’s spirits were lifted almost immediately, oddly reminding the two men of Bokuto with how quickly he rebounded. “I like fireworks!”

They found a small pocket within the crowd where they would have a fairly good view of the fireworks. Conversations buzzed with anticipation all around them, young children squealing in excitement as they ran around in hopes of seeing the fireworks soon. And they didn’t have to wait long before it was all set up, and the first firework was launched, exploding across the night sky in streaks of red.

Tooru gasped, eyes widening in awe as the next few burst in patches of orange and yellow. “Pretty!”

Hajime watched for the fireworks for a moment, compelled by their beauty, until he risked a glance to the man beside him. And seeing Daichi smile in amazement as colors exploded above them, their vibrant sparkles replacing the stars, made his heart drop.

He must’ve been staring for too long and too obviously because Daichi turned to him, and at first Hajime thought that he’d be weirded out, but he didn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that he had caught Hajime blatantly _staring at him._

Hajime was suddenly reminded of the bright, vivid, wildly bouncing strobe lights of the club and how they – and these fireworks – seemed to bring light to even the darkest part of Daichi’s eyes. How the contrasting hues brought out the flush in the man’s cheeks. To him, Daichi was beautiful. Intriguing. A blessing. Someone that Hajime never expected but easily welcomed into his life. Into his son’s life.

And it was at that moment, Hajime decided.

_Fuck it._

And he pressed his lips to Daichi’s.

The shock was there of course, if the way Daichi suddenly tensed was any indication, and Hajime was about to pull away because _holy shit what was he thinking he totally screwed this up_ until Daichi fisted his hands in the sides of Hajime’s jacket, keeping him there while easing into the kiss.

There was something liberating about kissing Daichi, Hajime realized. It made him feel warm from his head to his toes, and while many would probably describe what they experienced as a feeling of weightlessness, Hajime felt totally grounded. He was fine-tuned into this moment, practically hearing the seconds tick by, and could’ve sworn he felt the earth turning beneath his feet.

“Ew.”

They broke apart and found that Tooru was staring at them, nose slightly scrunched up in disgust, and the two men smiled.

“Oh yeah? I’ll show you ‘ew’,” Hajime lifted Tooru into his arms, peppering kisses all over the boy’s cheeks and forehead, grinning all the while.

“D-Daddy, stop! That tickles!” Tooru laughed.

Hajime relented and simply held his son in his arms as the fireworks continued to dance above them.

“Dai-chan?” Tooru piped up after a moment.

The man looked at him. “Yes, Tooru?”

“Are you and my daddy gonna be together forever?” he asked.

Daichi looked at Hajime, clearly trying to figure out how to answer this, but when Hajime smiled at him, the confidence returned in Daichi’s eyes. “Well, that’s what we’re hoping for, Tooru.”

“So,” Tooru picked at his fingernails, glancing up bashfully every now and then. “Does that mean I can call you Papa now?”

Daichi’s eyes widened, and even Hajime would be lying if he said that Tooru’s question didn’t catch him off-guard, too. He truly wondered if Daichi would be comfortable with that, if Tooru was asking for something too much too soon. Then he saw Daichi’s eyes soften and… were those the beginning traces of tears?

“Of course you can, Tooru,” Daichi said. “You can call me whatever you want.”

“Stinky breath?” Tooru tried.

Daichi nodded. “Yup.”

“Fart smeller?” Tooru giggled.

“Sure.”

“Poopy head?”

“All right, we gotta draw the line somewhere, kiddo!” Daichi grinned and tickled the boy, laughing with him as he wriggled in Hajime’s arms.

Tooru’s attention was then diverted when a series of fireworks went off all at once and he stared in absolute awe. He pointed. “Daddy, Papa – look!”

Hajime turned towards the sky, but then felt a brush of fingers against his palm, noticing that Daichi’s hand was intertwining with his. The man smiled up at him. 

And Hajime returned it.


	16. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His pride and joy.

The referee’s whistle pierced through the air. 

Two teams, one in green and white and the other in red and white, huddled together at their respective benches to have a last minute talk with their coaches. This was a fairly anticipated game, so the gym was brimming with families and other teams who were eager to see the outcome of the match.

Hajime smiled. He was pretty excited, too.

A warm hand was on his shoulder now, making him turn.

“Hey,” Daichi said, taking the seat next to Hajime. “Did I miss anything?”

“Nope,” Hajime shook his head. “They just finished warming up.”

Daichi sighed in relief. “Good. Trying to get out of the office was hell today. I was afraid I’d be late.”

Tooru, now 12 years old, clapped his teammates on their backs with a bright grin on his face as they talked amongst his themselves. He took a moment to clean his glasses and slipped them back on before turning to survey the audience. And upon seeing Hajime and Daichi, he lit up and waved.

Hajime and Daichi waved back.

“I don’t know about you, but I think he’s excited,” Daichi chuckled.

“What gave you that idea?” Hajime smiled, leaning back a bit in his seat. “This gym is a lot smaller than I remember it being.”

“Maybe that’s because you’re a grown ass man now and not a scared little kid in junior high,” a voice said from beside them, drawing their attention.

Suga and Kuroo beamed at them. “Yo!”

“Who’re you calling scared?” Hajime challenged. “I wasn’t scared.”

“Oh come on, Haji – you can’t lie to us,” Suga smirked, sitting down next to Kuroo. “We were all scared at some point. If not that, then at least really freaking nervous. Especially during our very first volleyball game.”

“Tooru’s worked hard for this day,” Kuroo said, slipping his arm around Suga. “Kid’s got guts – he’s not gonna let his nerves get to him.”

Hajime looked at them. “Thanks for coming, you guys. I know this’ll mean the world to Tooru.”

“You kidding? We can’t miss his first volleyball game _ever!”_ Suga said. “We wouldn’t miss it for anything. Hinata and Kageyama unfortunately couldn’t make it but they send their best wishes.”

“Don’t think for a second that we’d miss out on this either!” a voice they recognized all too well said from the row behind them. Bokuto grinned as they turned. “Hey, hey, hey!”

Akaashi joined Bokuto at his side, carrying a little bundle in his arms. “Hello, everyone.”

The form in his arms squirmed a bit, and a little girl with dark hair and golden eyes lifted her head to see what was going on. Bokuto and Akaashi were finally able to adopt about a year ago. And they were completely won over by a quiet toddler who for the most part kept to herself and away from the other children. Her name was Hana, their little flower, and with each passing day, they could see her coming out of her shell – a bud slowly beginning to bloom.

Bokuto and Akaashi sat in the seats directly behind them as Hana asked to go with Kuroo, who happily took her in his arms.

The two teams lined up on opposite sides of the court, shouting “Let’s play!” before the starters took their positions. The opposing team had won the coin toss and they set up for the serve. Hajime could see that Tooru was absolutely buzzing with nervous, excitable energy as he donned the number four on his back. 

Kuroo was right. 

His son had worked hard for this day. And now they were going to see if all that hard work paid off.

A small group of junior high girls stood against the railing, squealing and cheering while chattering to each other. “Yukimura-kun! Do your best!”

Yukimura Kousuke waved at them and laughed nervously when he felt Tooru’s unamused stare. But then they grew almost uncharacteristically serious when the referee blew the whistle to begin the game. 

The ball was up and served to the other side of the net, and one of the boys on Tooru’s team effortlessly received it. 

Kousuke moved under the ball, hands at the ready. “Nice receive!” he said. The ball came arcing down, brushing against his fingertips for a brief moment before he sent it flying in front of him, releasing a toss that wasn’t too high or too low, but in the middle – right where Tooru needed it. “Iwa-chan!”

Tooru was already on the move, body going through the motions he had practiced day in and day out with his father, and went up for the spike. Three blockers met him at the net, their arms held firm and high, and they were quite tall for their age.

But Hajime and everyone else already saw the grave mistake that one of the blockers made.

And they knew Tooru saw it, too.

The ball met Tooru’s hand perfectly and he brought it down with everything he had, right through the middle of one blocker’s arms. It slammed in front of two receivers and bounced out of bounds, and the referee blew the whistle to call it a fair point.

Tooru grinned, receiving a “Nice kill!” from his teammates as Kousuke high-fived him.

“’Iwa-chan’, huh?” Suga raised an amused eyebrow at Hajime.

“Don’t look at me, I had nothing to do with that,” Hajime chuckled. And it was the truth. One day when they were practicing giving tosses to each other, around age seven, Kousuke started calling Tooru that nickname – and it stuck.

And as the game continued, as Tooru set, blocked, spiked, and received just as they had taught him, Hajime couldn’t help the immense amount of pride that swelled in his chest.

He smiled.

_That’s my boy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all, folks!
> 
> Seriously, I cannot thank you all enough for reading and sticking with me through this. And whether you've been here since chapter one or you just jumped on this bandwagon, know that I appreciate you for taking the time to read this. There are thousands of other fics out there and you chose to read mine. And that means the world to me.
> 
> You've all been wonderful. Love you guys!
> 
> Until we meet again!
> 
> P.S. I may or may not be playing around with making a sequel/spin-off but I need to work out all the kinks before I do, so no promises of it being in the immediate future or anything! If you guys like the idea of a sequel or spin-off, let me know! See ya!
> 
> EDIT: The spin-off is released! Check out _Calendar Pages_ for more shenanigans and baby Tooru!

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on [tumblr.](http://tenacioustooru.tumblr.com/)


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